“When you fall… does anyone help you back up?”
“No, Freddy. They don’t.” Alex faced her with a hard glare. “Does anyone help you when you get tossed off your horse during the morning rodeo?” She referred to the bucking and kicking that occurred every morning while the riders settled out their horses. “People are falling on the ground every day of this drive. The novelty of watching me fall over has worn off for most of the drovers. Not you, apparently, but most.”
She hadn’t seen Alex fall that often, and this was the first time Freddy had witnessed the other drovers’ indifference to it. She stared at her sister, considering Alex’s precious dignity and poise. Regardless how casually Alex tried to treat the incident, it must humiliate her every time she crashed to the ground.
“This is very hard for you, isn’t it?”
“Your grasp of the obvious is stunning. And it only took you—how many weeks?—to notice. Yes. This is hard. Damned hard as you might say. Hard in ways you can’t even imagine because being so absorbed with yourself, you wouldn’t even try!”
“I’m self-absorbed?” Freddy leaned forward, careful not to shake the worktable. “When have you ever given a thought to anyone but yourself? When you wanted something you just took it. Or manipulated everyone around you. Or made us feel stupid with your holier-than-thou superiority. You always had to have things your way!”
Alex’s face turned white, and she gripped her crutch. “I’m tired of being blamed for everything that’s gone wrong in your life! If you feel stupid, that’s not my fault. I didn’t tell you to run off with that acting troupe and ruin your reputation and your future!”
“You can run off and that’s fine, but God forbid that anyone else does the same thing!”
“It was hardly the same thing! I ran off to get married. You just threw yourself away!”
“I was looking for a future, exactly like you were!”
Dal’s hand came down on her shoulder. Freddy knew it was him by the leap of electricity that shot through her body and momentarily stopped her heartbeat. “Les has already ridden out. Grady is holding your horse.” His voice was cool, carefully impartial.
But she felt like a foot soldier flanked by two attacking armies, and it infuriated her that he removed his hand before she could order him to. “This started because I wanted to help you get up off the ground,” she flung at Alex, hoping to get in the last word.
“No, it started because you knocked me to the ground!”
“That was an accident,” she shouted, her face turning red. “And don’t you say a word,” she yelled at Dal, who stood between them, a frown lining his bronzed forehead. “Or you either,” she snapped at Grady when she reached the remuda and found him impatiently waiting for her.
“This ain’t the time or the place,” Grady said sharply. “You got a beef with your sisters, you save it until this drive is over, you hear me, girl? When the cowboys start fighting amongst themselves, the drive goes wrong. If you want to git along, you gotta get along. Don’t forget it.”
“Tell that to Alex!”
“I will.” He slapped Walker on the butt, and the horse kicked, then bolted for the range, carrying Freddy with him.
When Freddy rode up on the stupid stragglers, the first thing Les said was, “Jack Caldwell?” Censure flickered in Les’s brown eyes along with a hint of superiority.
“I didn’t know he was seeing Lola, all right? It was a mistake, and I regret it. What do you want me to do? Shoot myself?” Baring her teeth, she galloped toward the stragglers.
Last night she had defended Jack to Dal, and she had been wrong. Jack hadn’t kept their relationship discreet to please her. Since Jack was seeing Lola at the same time he was seeing her, it suited him to keep her hidden away, that’s why he had agreed to Freddy’s plea for secrecy. Oh he’d had everything going his way. Two women, each of whom had a reason not to want her relationship with him known.
She rode by herself during the morning, keeping her distance from Les, thinking about Jack and men in general, and about Dal Frisco.
Every time she thought about Dal, hot color rose on her throat. Actually she understood what he’d said about not letting the attraction between them explode again. She had pretended not to because that was easier than admitting her own embarrassment.