“The money’s part of it. Now don’t stiffen up like that, or I’ll get mad.” He drew a breath and tightened his grip on her upper arms. “All my life I’ve known I deserved better than being stuck in a backwater hole like Klees, running a general store.” His lips twisted in disgust. “I deserve a fine house and servants as much as you do.” He narrowed his eyes on the ranch house.
“Ward, you’re squeezing my arms.”
“When you said I could come courting, I saw a way out.” He stared into her eyes. “Frankly, Les, it hasn’t been a smooth courtship from my point of view. First your pa insulted me and tried to drive me away, then he died, and finally I thought we’d be just fine. Then we learned about the damned will. Now you’re telling me that you don’t want our share of the inheritance.”
“I didn’t say that.” The tears kept falling and she couldn’t stop them. “I want you to have your chance at success, really I do. But I just…”
“You see, Les,” he interrupted, “I can’t support a wife without our inheritance. The store isn’t doing as well as it did before Pa died. Pa bowed and scraped, but I won’t do that. A man like me shouldn’t have to. Now don’t cry, it makes you look older.”
His comment reminded her that she was long past the age when most girls married, reminded her that Ward was her last chance. If Ward didn’t marry her, who would take care of her? Who would tell her what to do? She hated other people controlling her life, but the truth was she had no confidence in her own decisions. She needed someone to take her in hand.
Pulling a handkerchief from her cuff, she pressed it against her eyes, trying to stop the flood of tears. “Without the money you won’t marry me. Is that what you’re saying?”
“I’m only thinking of you.” He started petting her again, patting her back. “I can’t ask you to work in the store like you were common. I’ll walk away before I’d put you through that.”
Suddenly she felt so tired that all she wanted to do was return to the house and go to bed. Last week when she’d told him about hiring Dal Frisco, something she couldn’t control, he’d gotten so angry that he slapped her hard enough to black her eye. Tonight, when she’d told him about not wanting to go on the cattle drive, she’d expected him to slap her again, but he hadn’t.
Opening her eyes, she gazed at the moonlight gleaming on his scalp through strands of thinning hair. “I could get killed,” she said in a dulled voice. “I could drown, or get trampled—”
“Nonsense. Frisco is one of the best bosses in Texas. He won’t let that happen.”
She stared at him. In an about-face, Dal Frisco was suddenly a marvel of judgment and efficiency who would protect her during the drive.
“I’ll do it,” she whispered finally, defeated. There was no choice, not really. If she didn’t agree to go on the drive, Ward would leave her, and she’d be choosing destitution.
“That’s my good girl,” he said exuberantly, pulling her into his arms. “I knew you’d see reason. And, I was saving this news as a surprise but I’ll tell you now what I’m willing to do. I’m going with you! I’ve already cleared it with Luther Moreland. He says there’s no prohibition in the will against me accompanying the drive, so long as I don’t help you or the others in any way.”
She stared at him in horror. “Ward… I appreciate what you’re… but…” He would criticize everything she did. She’d be so self-conscious that she couldn’t function.
“Now don’t worry about leaving the store with no one at the helm. I’d planned to sell it anyway. And I won’t mind the hardships, knowing I’m making the sacrifice for us.” When she saw the excitement in his eyes, she understood that the whole evening had been leading to this revelation. “I’ll be right there to offer encouragement and suggestions when you need them. It’s an inspired decision, don’t you agree?”
“Oh Ward. Must you sell the store?” she inquired anxiously. “What if we fall short of the number of steers we have to sell?” She swallowed hard, feeling as if a weight had descended on her head and shoulders.
“You’ll have to make sure the drive delivers at least two thousand steers,” he said lightly.
Trembling, Les remembered the huge steers pounding into the corral, and her expression went slack. It was inconceivable to think that she could prevent one from wandering off if he wanted to go. She couldn’t possibly affect the outcome of a cattle drive. Thinking about Ward’s faith in her made her hands shake, and she feared she was about to faint.
Pulling back from her, Ward frowned. “Aren’t you going to thank me? This won’t be an easy trip, you know. And it won’t be cheap. I’ll have to provide my own provisions. This is going to be damned inconvenient, but I’m willing to put myself through it for you. For our future.”
All she could think about was that he was going to sell the store and leave them without a fall-back position. In the end, it was conceivable that they would both be destitute. And it would be her fault, because he was selling the store to be with her.
“I…” she clapped a hand over her mouth and spun away from him. Grabbing her skirts, she dashed around the house toward the privy and made it to the door before she threw up.