The Backup Boyfriend

“How long have you been here?” Dylan asked.

 

Noah whirled to face him, blinked, and slowly set his glass on the counter. “Long enough to catch the sound of the final act.”

 

Dylan remembered how he’d gone nuclear there at the end, picturing his brains leaking out onto the bed. And Noah was staring at Dylan as if he’d lost his mind.

 

Uh, yeah. About that…

 

“What the hell were you thinking, Dylan?”

 

Dylan’s face burned, and he secured the towel tight around his waist as several sarcastic replies came to mind.

 

I was tired of playing for the same team.

 

I suddenly had the urge to experience life as the little spoon.

 

I wanted to be able to wear the You Suck, And I Like That In A Man T-shirt you gave me.

 

But Dylan knew a flippant answer would only make matters worse. Instead, he simply stared at Noah and waited for him to go on.

 

“Wait, scratch that.” Noah picked up his tomato juice. “Obviously you weren’t thinking.”

 

“No need to get your silk panties in a wad, man,” Dylan said. “Ease up a little.”

 

“I do not wear silk panties,” he said. “And, no, I will not ease up. You’re taking the substitute-boyfriend gig way beyond what any rational human being would consider reasonable. I might have heard the two of you, but Tyler was too far away to appreciate how loud Alec groaned when you. Fucked. Him!”

 

That last sentence started out as a statement and ended up an accusation.

 

Hating that he felt defensive, Dylan crossed his arms. “I didn’t fuck Alec. He fucked me.”

 

Noah’s face went positively goldfish, bulging eyes, gaping mouth, and all. Apparently not only had he heard the finale, he’d assumed a lot about their position as well.

 

Noah finally blinked, coming back to life and crossing the thick rug on the way to the couch. “Have you been drinking?”

 

“No.”

 

“Taking poppers?”

 

“No.”

 

“Abducted by queer aliens?”

 

The bark of laughter almost hurt. “No. I asked him to fuck me.”

 

Noah’s legs appeared to give way, and he dropped onto the leather couch with enough force to trigger a swish of air from the cushion. For the first time since Rick had introduced them oh so many years ago, Noah remained speechless for a full five seconds. Dylan hadn’t thought the man capable. The sight was almost worthy of the mess Dylan now found himself in.

 

Almost.

 

“I don’t understand,” Dylan said. “Technically I should be the one freaking out here. But, honestly, I don’t think there’s any reason to make a big deal of the whole thing.” Besides, wigging out now was sorta pointless. Dylan entered the room and sat down, proud of his awesome reasoning skills and his nonchalant tone. “Sleeping with men is normal enough for the two of you.”

 

“Yes, but we sleep with men who are gay,” Noah said.

 

“That’s not what you’ve told me in the past.”

 

“Nice try,” Noah said. “But we’re not talking about me right now.”

 

“Yeah.” Dylan’s lips twisted wryly. “Funny how we never talk about you. Why is that, Noah?”

 

Noah offered nothing more than a blank stare, which changed when Alec appeared in the doorway. Good, Dylan could use a little help here. Dark hair damp, and in jeans and a T-shirt, Alec took one look at Noah’s now frowning face and grimaced.

 

“I need coffee,” Alec said and pivoted to head for the kitchen.

 

“Get back here, girlfriend,” Noah said and Alec slowly turned around, clearly preparing for battle. Noah went on. “We need to set a few things straight.”

 

After a two second pause, Alec entered the living room. And suddenly Dylan wasn’t up for dealing with Noah anymore, especially with Alec so clean and smelling so good and looking as though he needed Dylan to get him all sweaty again. Dylan let out a sigh.

 

Jesus, he really was a slut.

 

~~~***~~~

 

Alec had learned long ago that humoring Noah made things easier in the long run, so he settled against the wall. Although he wanted to get this confrontation over with, he desperately needed some caffeine. Retreat sounded rather appealing too.

 

Retreat from Dylan’s hot, knowing gaze. From the confusion twisting Alec’s gut in knots. And nothing good ever came from a Noah that called him girlfriend.

 

“I suggested you start dating again,” Noah said, frowning at Alec. “Not jump into bed with a straight man.”

 

“You sleep with straight men all the time,” Alec said.

 

A bark of laughter shot from Dylan, and Noah tossed the man a look. Dylan pressed his lips together, clearly struggling to smother the rest of his amusement.

 

“We’re not talking about me,” Noah said. “We’re talking about you, Alec.”

 

“This conversation is sounding very familiar,” Dylan murmured.

 

Noah ignored him. “I’m very aware of Dylan’s tendency to fuck anything that moves.”

 

“Hey!” Dylan shot up in his seat.

 

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