I groaned and glanced back to the boat. “Josephine! Jo! Will you stop laughing for two seconds and help me?”
She was absolutely no use. “Lily.” She breathed through laughter. “I’ll help, just let me—” She couldn’t even get the sentence out without erupting into another fit of cackling.
The burning sensation in my arms was becoming harder to ignore; I couldn’t tread water for much longer.
“Josephine! This isn’t funny! Some shark is probably smelling my bikini top and deciding he wants to eat me for lunch!”
Dean groaned. “For the last time, there are no sharks.”
I turned back around and…GOD DAMN HIM. He was closer than ever. I didn’t have a choice. I had to swim to the boat and get out without my bikini top. Josephine wasn’t going to get off her bony butt and help me. Either I succumbed to my fate and drowned, or I got out and let Dean see my life-changing rack, thus ruining him for all future women from there on out. (Okay, maybe I was hyping myself up a little bit.)
I started paddling back to the boat, already breathing heavily from having to tread water for so long. Dean swam right past me, reached the ladder, and pulled himself up and out, all before I even got close to the boat. Show off. His tan, smooth chest glistened in the sun as he bent back down for my hand.
“I can get out myself,” I said, covering my chest with one arm and using the other arm to doggy paddle closer to the ladder. It was slow going, but I figured I’d get there eventually.
“The ladder isn’t stable. Stop being difficult and just let me help you,” he argued.
Me? DIFFICULT? So help me god, he was going to eat his words when I got onto that platform.
“I have strong arms. Turn around and let me get up.”
“Lily. Enough.”
The fire in my veins had nothing to do with treading water and everything to do with my anger toward Dean. I was right against the ladder, just below where he was hovering on the platform. I had one arm wrapped precariously around my chest and one arm desperately trying to keep me afloat…which left me with zero arms to reach for the ladder. Fuck me.
I had to suck it up and wait him out. Eventually he’d get bored and go inside, and I could lift myself out then. The muscles in my arm started cramping worse than ever, like they’d heard my thoughts and were desperately trying to convince me to abort my plan. My pain must have shown on my face because Dean bent lower, too annoyed to deal with my nonsense any longer.
“Lily, I’m going to help you up. You can yell all you want, but I’m not going to let you kill yourself because you’re afraid I’ll see your boobs.”
I tried to reach for the ladder with my swimming arm just as I felt his hands grasp my biceps. He yanked my arm away from where it covered my chest and hoisted me out of the water like he was lifting a bag of marshmallows. I didn’t even have time to fully comprehend the fact that my boobs were on full display before I felt one foot touch the edge of the platform.
I was on land again!
I wasn’t going to die!
Unfortunately, excitement set in a moment too soon. Just as I tried to set my other foot down on the platform, it slipped out from under me. Dean tried to hold me up, but I was already flailing forward like a fish. I couldn’t brace myself against him because he still had ahold of my arms. I fell in slow motion, confident my face was about to make contact with the hard platform, when instead, I landed face first against Dean’s crotch.
Wait. Let me clarify.
I’d been on the edge of the swim platform with Dean holding me up like a rag doll, and when I slipped, my face had hit his crotch with enough force to strip the paint off his bow, if you catch my drift. I was pretty sure I’d just broken Dean’s penis. Hello God? It’s me, Lily. If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, could you have a shark jump out of the water and eat me? I’d really like to die a quick, painless death, preferably one that doesn’t involve my face colliding with Dean’s crotch any more.
Dean let out a guttural grown, let go of my arms, and collapsed back onto the swim platform. He squeezed his eyes shut and rocked from side to side with bent knees. I jumped up and leaned over him, gripping his shoulders in my hands.
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”
One of his eyes peered open and he shook his head, incapable of speech. Clearly, I’d just caused some serious damage.
“Do you need some ice? Should I blow on it?”
He laughed, and then groaned again. The joke was crass at best, but I needed a way to gauge how badly he was injured.
“Okay good, if you can laugh then you aren’t going to die.”
I heard footsteps on the stairs and glanced up to see Josephine, taking them two at a time. With all the excitement, I hadn’t even noticed that she’d left the swim platform. “I’ve got it! Here, Lily, I’ve got something for you to wear!”