Chapter TWENTY-ONE
THEIR EYES MET. The humor sobered. “We’re being silly.” She started to get up.
He caught her. Not enough force to stop her, but enough to let her know he didn’t want her to leave. “No. We’re having fun. And I haven’t had this much fun in… in a long time.”
She put her hands on his chest to push up, but she hesitated. “I have to go.”
“One kiss,” he said without thinking.
“I already kissed you once.” She didn’t push away.
He raised his head, his lips a breath away from hers. “Then one more,” he whispered. His lips met hers. Soft, supple, and so sweet. She was the one who deepened the kiss. She was the one who moved up a few inches, so the position was more comfortable. He rested his back on the hard cold tile.
Her hips fit against his. And when her body did that light shift upward, he went hard in zero flat.
She pulled her lips from his, lifted her head, and glanced at him. Her wide eyes looked dazed and her lips well kissed. “That’s two.”
“We could go for three.” He held his breath.
She leaned down and this kiss was different. No holding back. It was her in pure abandonment. On her part. And on his.
Her hand, soft and hesitant, slipped inside his T-shirt and moved up over his abdomen.
Up, when he ached for it to go down. He reached down, unhooked the top of his jeans, and lowered his zipper to ease the pressure.
Then his hands moved up and under her shirt, all the way up, and slipped the soft cotton over her head. She held her arms up to make the removal easy.
Now sitting up, straddling his pelvis and his hard-on, she reached back and unhooked her bra. His breath caught as the straps slipped down and breasts were bare, and beautiful.
Reaching up, he traced her dusty rose–colored nipples. “You’re so beautiful.”
Then sitting up, he rested her on the floor and settled on top of her. With his weight on his elbows, he kissed her lips and then moved down to her breasts.
Gently, he suckled her nipple and slipped his hands down and unsnapped her jeans. The zipper eased down as he slid his hand inside.
He found her wet and soft. His chest clutched with want.
His dick throbbed.
His phone rang.
Their eyes met.
“Shit!” he said. What the hell were they doing?
She took a deep breath and her eyes widened, and he knew she was thinking the same thing.
She pressed a palm on his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have… I should… go.”
He rolled off her. His phone continued to ring.
She leaped up, snagged her shirt, and slipped it over her head. Then she took a bolt to the door.
“Leah?” He shot up and caught up with her right before she walked out. “Don’t… leave mad.” He raked a hand through his hair, and he smelled her scent on his hand. His dick hardened to new levels.
She turned around. “I’m not. I just can’t. I can’t do that… this.”
“Why?” He knew his reasons why he shouldn’t, but he didn’t understand hers.
“I’m… I’m not ready.”
He fought the need to straighten things in his crotch. “Your ex hurt you that bad?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “Him and a few others before him.”
“Cruz?” he asked, and instantly wanted to catch that a*shole and make him hurt.
“No, well, maybe. But… I really have to go.”
He watched her step out, but then she turned back. The look of passion in her eyes had faded. She paused as if she wanted to say something, but was hesitant.
“What?” he asked.
Her big brown eyes blinked. “The question you asked me, the one I didn’t answer. The one about my dad and if I would have wanted him back in my life.” She paused. “Before he died, I used to dream about him showing up, wanting that very thing. I’m not sure I could have really forgiven him, but it would have been nice to know he tried. But he didn’t. He didn’t try. At least your mom is trying. You may not be able to forgive her, but one day you might not be able to forgive yourself for not listening. So my advice, not that you asked for it, is to just listen to her.”
Roberto finished the book at ten that night. Reclining on the sofa, he looked at his phone. He wanted to call Sara. Wanted to tell her he’d read the book and agreed with her. Men should read romance novels.
It validated men’s drive for sex, but left him with the realization that the true satisfaction came with emotion and sex. Men needed the emotion women brought to the table, or to the bed… or in this case, the hot tub. Sure, there were some touchy-feely scenes that certainly resonated more with the feminine point of view, but the fun was seeing how the male characters responded to those scenes. And damn if in the end, even the emotionally packed scenes were, well… enjoyable. It made him realize what was important. Not the job, not the material things. It was the people in your life.
And it made him think about sex. It wasn’t written like porn, it was like a Hallmark card, but with sex. It was wholesome but still sexy. He hadn’t felt his dick twitch so much in a long time. As if the damn thing was coming back to life and making demands.
He closed his eyes and imagined Sara reading those scenes. Did she respond to them the way he did? Then he wondered why Anna hadn’t ever encouraged him to read romance novels. She’d read them all the time.
Because you were too busy trying to get through school and make a living at the same time. What he wouldn’t give to go back and change things. To have spent more time with his family and less time trying to make a dollar and get through school. Sure, it had been for their future, but with the future robbed from him, the price felt too high.
Regrets. Funny how much you could regret doing the right thing.
He could still remember Anna running home crying. I saw… I saw something crazy. She’d been shaking so hard, he’d been afraid she would drop Bobby. I was putting gas in and a car pulled up and then one guy got out of the car. He had a gun. I dropped the gas nozzle and got in the car. I had to get Bobby away. But I looked back and I saw like a flash. I think he shot someone. And the bad thing is, I knew him, I went to school with him. His name is Rafael DeLuna. He was always getting in trouble then.
“Wait! You actually saw this guy shoot someone?”
She’d started crying. Roberto had done the right thing. He’d held her for a long time and then called their neighbor to watch Bobby so he could drive Anna to the police station. She told them what she’d seen, about how she’d left the parking lot because she’d been so scared.
They stayed at that precinct for several hours. They’d even shown her pictures of several guys and she’d picked DeLuna out. Supposedly, he already had a record for some stuff.
A couple days later, the cops dropped by and told them that they’d brought DeLuna in for questioning, but he’d had a solid alibi. He’d been at a girlfriend’s house. They wanted Anna to look at some more photos. She argued that she knew what she’d seen. She’d been certain.
Less than a week later, Anna and Bobby were gone. They said she’d driven across the train tracks right in front of a train. He knew better. Anna was the safest driver he knew. Hell, her cousin had been hit by a train and lost his leg when she was young. Trains scared his wife. She never crossed a railroad track without stopping and checking several times. Even Freddie, Anna’s brother, didn’t believe it.
She wouldn’t have crossed a train track with a train coming.
On top of that, Anna had no reason to be on that road.
The cops wouldn’t listen to him. It made sense that if she recognized DeLuna, he must have recognized her. And when the cops told DeLuna they had a witness, he must have remembered seeing Anna and gone after her.
Roberto told that to the cops, but they insisted he had no proof. No evidence. And DeLuna had an alibi. So there was no arrest. He walked away clean, and Roberto had lost everything.
Regrets. He’d done the right thing making her go to the police. Doing the right thing had gotten his wife and his son killed.
Right then he realized why seeing Sandy, Brad’s wife, had hurt so much. She had that look about her, like someone who had already lost someone they loved. Leaning his head to the side, he glanced at the clock on the wall. He had less than two hours before he had to meet Cruz and Luke, the crooked-nose goon. Two hours with nothing to do. Two hours to convince himself that if things went badly and this was the end, it was okay. He’d be with Anna and his son.
So why didn’t it feel okay?
His gaze went to the clock. Was Sara asleep? Had she expected him to call her tonight? Was she disappointed when he didn’t? He reached for the phone.
“No.” He dropped his arm over his eyes. Calling her was wrong. He’d managed to hang up last night without making promises. He didn’t think she’d let him get by with that this time. She’d figure it out, if she hadn’t already. She’d know that something was going on in his life. He considered being honest.
What the hell was he going to say to her? Hey, if I live through catching and killing the bastard that killed my wife and son, I’d like to maybe come out and see ya?
Yeah, that would go over like a fart in church.
All of a sudden his phone rang. Shit. Was it her? He shot up, his chest expanding with a kind of sweet excitement. He snatched the phone and checked the number. All the excitement deflated.
Tyler. He’d phoned earlier, too. Roberto almost took the call, but decided against it. Odds were Tyler had gotten wind of the other drug deals gone bad and wanted to confront Roberto about it.
Roberto was in no mood to be confronted. He let the phone go to voice mail, then set it back on the coffee table.
Not one minute passed when his phone rang again. Probably Tyler again. The man had a little case of OCD. To confirm it, he grabbed the phone.
Not Tyler. His breath caught. Sara.
When he didn’t pick up, Sara hung up. She didn’t leave a message. She even tossed the phone on the other side of the bed.
Why had she called him? She should move on. He’d told her it wasn’t happening. Why couldn’t she just accept it?
Seriously, how much time did she have to offer a relationship? She’d stopped playing Bunko with her neighbors, hadn’t met with her old high school friend in two months. The only thing fun she did was get together with Leah occasionally, like once a month, and share a bottle of wine and some commiseration. And see her mom.
Nope. She was done. Finished thinking about Roberto. Especially when… her gut told her that there was something she didn’t know.
She fluffed her pillow and was about to cut the light off, when her phone rang.
“Not answering it,” she said, and gripped two handfuls of comforter in her fists. Nope, not answering. Then she jackknifed up and desperately searched for the phone that had sunk in the covers.
“Talk me out of this,” Leah said as soon as Sara picked up. She’d left Austin’s apartment, come home, and put on her exercise video. She’d probably worked off the sandwich. She’d tried to work off the want, the need, the achy feeling deep in her belly, but it hadn’t worked. Never, ever had she wanted someone so badly. She wasn’t pretending it was love. But it had to be a really hard case of like, and lust.
“Talk you out of what? If it involves the neighbor, Mr. Oh-so-hot Brookshire, I’m probably going to talk you into it.”
“It’s not him—well, it’s his fault, but it’s not him.”
“Am I supposed to understand that?”
“No,” Leah said. “I think I was wrong.”
“Wrong about what?” Sara asked.
Her gaze went to her bedroom wall, the one that separated hers and Austin’s apartment. “Wrong about you being hornier than me.” She laughed, a nervous laugh. “I’m thinking of doing something that I know I’ll regret.”
“What’s that?” Sara asked.
“I pulled out the battery-operated boyfriend. I’m seriously thinking about letting this big guy have his way with me.”
Sara’s laugh came from the line, but Leah suddenly heard a noise from behind her wall, as if a chair had hit it. She remembered Austin always leaning his chair back on two legs. Had he fallen? Or had he slipped on the wet tiles… again?
The desire to run over and check on him bit hard. Nope.
“Wow, you are desperate,” Sara said. “I had to twist your arm to buy one. Not that there’s anything wrong with owning or using one. It’s not nearly as good as the real thing, but it cures the itch.”
Leah hit a switch, and the purple tubular thing started pulsating.
“Is that what I think it is?” Sara asked.
“Yeah. Why did I pick out a purple one? Do you remember?”
“You said purple was a party color.” Sara paused. “Are you drunk? I remember we were a little tipsy when we bought our boyfriends.”
Leah laughed. “What I can’t believe is that Evelyn was the one who took us there. But… no, I’m not drunk. Just desperate.”
“Her taking us there wasn’t what shocked me, it was when she started pointing out all the stuff there she’d already bought.”
Leah giggled.
“Do you think Evelyn’s exaggerating about… about her sex life?” Sara asked.
“No,” Leah said. “I think she’s just one of the lucky-in-love people.”
“You sound tipsy,” Sara said.
“I had one glass. I’m breathless because I did sixty minutes of aerobics. I’m not going to be able to sit down to pee tomorrow.”
“I’ve done that before.” Sara got quiet. “Okay, so explain to me why you can’t just play musical beds with Mr. Blond and Sexy.”
“He is sexy, isn’t he?” Leah flopped back on her mattress.
“So what’s stopping you? You’re willing. And I know he’s willing. You should have seen how he looked at you today, all concerned like.”
“I’m not ready. I think my body’s ready, but my heart… not ready. I think I’d go straight to rebound city. I’d probably fall for him. Do all sorts of sexual favors for him.” She laughed. “Who am I kidding? I’m already falling for him.”
“It’s been two years. I say it’s time to bite the bullet,” Sara said.
“I’m slow to recover,” Leah said.
“Or maybe our hearts won’t ever be ready. Maybe we should listen to our bodies.” Sara paused. “If we desire it, do it. To hell with the outcome.”
“You mean start acting like men?” Leah giggled.
“Yeah, pretty much.” Sara sighed. “Is it a full moon or something? I mean, we both seem to be in this same crazy romantic chaos.”
“I don’t know.” Leah looked at her alarm clock. “Damn, I just looked at the time. You were probably in bed.”
“I was, but not asleep.”
“Did he call you again?” Leah asked, remembering Sara telling her about the conversation she’d had the night before with Spooky’s rescuer.
“No, I broke down and called him.”
“And?” Leah asked.
“He didn’t answer. What does that tell you? I’ll bet if you called Austin, he’d answer.”
“I don’t know,” Leah said, but she remembered feeling the hard evidence pressing against her thighs, and she suspected he would answer. “Maybe the guy will call you tomorrow.”
“If I’m smart I won’t answer it. Something’s amiss with him. I’m getting a bad vibe.”
“Ugg,” Leah said. She suddenly realized she wasn’t getting any bad vibes about Austin. She felt this crazy connection, a bond. Normally, a guy got within two feet of her, and she was second-guessing everything he said and trying to figure out his angle.
“I don’t know why we want them,” Sara said. “Well, besides giving us babies. And great sex.” She moaned. “Do you think I can raise Brian to be a decent man? I wish my father was here to help.”
“You’re a great mother. You have all sorts of powers.”
Leah’s thoughts went to Austin. Her heart ached remembering the pain she saw in his eyes when he talked about his mom.
“I hope so. I don’t want to think about him growing up and treating a woman bad.”
“He won’t,” Leah said. “There are decent guys out there. Few and far between, but… they do exist.” Her brother was good. And she really thought Austin was decent. So why couldn’t she take a chance on him?
The thought came back like an echo. Because he’s not the problem. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him. She didn’t trust love. How sad was that?
“Do you want me to bring you Starbucks in the morning?” Sara asked.
“Starbucks? Don’t tempt me.”
“It’s my treat.”
“No, I’ll stick with office coffee. When I add enough cream and sugar it’s not that bad.”
They talked a bit longer, then Leah said, “It’s late, I’d better let you go back to bed.”
“Why? Do you have a hot date with Mr. Purple?” Sara teased.
“I don’t think so. He’s not doing it for me.”
“You’re prejudiced?” Sara teased.
“Against what? Purple dildos?” They laughed and finally hung up. She stared at the bedroom wall and wondered if Austin was still at the kitchen table.
As crazy as it was, she liked knowing he was on the other side of that wall. Liked thinking he might be thinking about her. Maybe even a little sexually flustered like she was.
Something wasn’t right. There wasn’t a light on in the office. Roberto pulled his bike in the lot and pulled his phone out to check the time. Three minutes until midnight.
Had Cruz screwed up? The wrong night? The wrong time? Or was this a setup?
The sound of the motor seemed too loud for the cold night air. He cut his engine off. His Glock tucked into his waist holder gave him a little comfort. He sat straddling his bike, looking around for shadows that didn’t belong. Not that a lot of shadows were around. Glancing up at the telephone pole, he could barely see the light fixture at the top. Had someone purposely shot it out?
A stirring of cool wind brushed past, but he felt warm inside his leather jacket.
Should he try to go inside? Or was someone waiting to grab him? But why? Had his cover been blown?
The night’s silence split with the sound of an engine. Headlights sliced into the dark road. The sedan, one of three company cars, rolled forward. As if someone had turned up the volume, the sound of its wheels hitting pavement sounded too loud. Chills ran up his spine when the vehicle turned into the office parking lot.
It slowed down as if the driver was looking for something. For what? Him? The sedan headed toward him. The crunch of the rough pavement as the car slowly came forward sounded like an omen. A bad omen.
Reaching into the warm leather jacket, he wrapped his palm around his gun. He might go down, but not without a fight.