Ginger looked like shit. Worn and scrawny, he caught her lighting a cigarette off the end of another, puffing furiously to get the thing going. A couple of burned-out stubs lay at her feet, their smashed filtered ends a fan of greasy brown and white.
“Hey.” Her eyes, so much like his, flicked over his shoulder. “You alone?”
He looked around, wondering for a half second if someone’d followed him out, but other than the stream of people coming in and out of the Amp, it was just the two of them. Handing her the cup of coffee he’d brought for her, Forest nodded.
“You want to go inside?” He regretted asking as soon as the words left his mouth. Asking opened him up to her rejection, and Forest didn’t know if he was ready to deal with that on top of the already long and trying day.
“Nah, not my thing.” Ginger took the coffee and sipped at it, making a face. “Not enough sugar. You know I like things sweet.”
“You’re welcome,” he replied wryly. The refusal didn’t sting as much as it had in the past. So much had changed in the past few months.
“I didn’t know this was going on.” She waved her long press-on nails at the store. “Or I would have come by some other time.”
“No, it’s good,” Forest said. “I’m not here as much as I used to be. I don’t live above the studio anymore.”
“The cop putting you up?” Suddenly her eyes narrowed, and he could see her brain ticking away. “Shit, good job. He’s got some money. I’ve seen that car of his. Milk that for as long as you can.”
“Mom, it’s not like that,” Forest began to protest, but Ginger’s face grew ugly.
“It’s always like that, you fucking idiot,” she hissed at him, glaring at a woman who glanced at them as she passed by. “Get what you can and get the fuck out. Hell, leave him wanting your ass and work him. Shit, you can keep him going while I hook you up with a guy I know. Play two guys if you have to. Haven’t you learned that by now?”
“Mom, I love him,” he told her in a quiet voice. “He loves me. It’s not like that.”
“You are so fucking stupid.” Her hiss turned hot, scalding his face when she exhaled a vodka-soaked puff of smoke at him. “You’re nothing but a piece of meat. You’re fooling yourself if you think you’re anything more than a hot hole for him to put his dick in. Take what you can get and leave before he decides to take his shit back. Jesus Christ, you’re stupid!”
He had to look away. It still hurt. She still hurt. He had to feel around the edges of his pain, searching through it like he’d done a broken tooth once, probing at it to see how bad it was and if he could stand the pain just a bit longer. Frank’d paid to have that tooth filled, then coughed up even more money to get it capped when it went all dark side. It pretty much described their entire relationship—that tooth—and Forest’s heart echoed with regret he’d not thanked the man sooner.
Through the sting of his tears, Forest saw Connor standing by the door, his thumbs hooked into his jeans pockets as he watched them from a distance, a silent sentinel waiting—just waiting for Forest to indicate he was needed. Their eyes met, and Connor smiled, melting away the choking cold of his mother’s words.
“I’m not going to live your life with you,” he finally said, breaking through the muttered rant Ginger’d worked herself into. “I can’t. I don’t want to. Yeah, Connor might hurt me. Hurt my heart. It’s a part of life, and we’re going to rub each other the wrong way sometimes, but the good of it is so fucking worth it. He trusted me to love him. And I’m going to do that. For as long as he’ll let me.”
“You’re—” Ginger started, but Forest cut her off.
“If you need something, like—to help to get off this shit life you like having, I’ll help you,” Forest promised. “But you’re not going to take me with you. I won’t let you do that to me. I won’t let you do that to what I have with Connor. You’ve got my number, Mom. I’ll always answer it for you, but that’s all you’re going to get out of me.”
Then he turned and walked away. Toward Connor. As his mother screamed behind him.
“She’s a piece of work. And not in a good way,” Connor said when Forest reached him. Wrapping his arms around Forest, they kissed lightly, briefly, but it was enough to set Forest’s insides on fire. Pulling back, Connor asked, “You okay?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Better. With you.”
IF SOMEONE’D asked him if he’d be head over heels in love a year ago—hell, six months ago—Connor would have said love needed time to grow and build. He’d never thought a single moment would change his life. Sure as hell not on a raid and never in a million years in the form of a blond drummer with a quiet voice and a fierce soul.
Forest didn’t just turn his life upside down. No, the man’d turned Connor’s soul and heart over, forcing him to take a good hard look at himself and admit he could find happiness in a place he hadn’t ever dared to imagine before.