Tap Dance (Dance Series)

chapter Thirty



She was still sleeping the last time he checked and he found himself jealous she could. He had maybe slept two hours out of every twenty-four since the fight with his family. She had been sleeping for over sixteen hours now. And that was only after her tears had let up a bit. He felt so bad for her, but all he could do was hold her.

He had put her to bed as soon as they were in his house and she basically cried herself to sleep. He had slept a bit as well, but got a call out around two hours after they'd laid down.

As far as he could tell, she hadn't moved from the position he'd left her in.

Ram rubbed his forehead to try and alleviate the headache that had been pounding at different speeds and depths since that horrible night, that goddamn Saturday.

He couldn't get it out of his mind and couldn't believe that he had talked to his father like that.

That wasn't him.

That wasn't how he was raised but he felt like he had no choice. Respect was a two-way street and it was obvious that, at least in his father and uncle's eyes, Ram was not old enough to make his own decisions or lead his own life.

Ram shoved all of it aside and tried to concentrate on the here and now although his brain was mush.

He made his way to the kitchen to make another mug of tea.

He had to be awake and alert in case he was needed but he was just so goddamn weary.

"Honey?" he heard her call down the hall.

"In here, Pyari," he said adding more milk and another tea bag to the saucepan. He knew how much she loved the tea and found it soothing.

"Hey, honey," she said making her way to him wearing the shirt he had worn yesterday, looking adorable with her hair askew and barefoot as she came straight to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Her eyes were still swollen and the end of her nose pink but she seemed better than she had been.

He engulfed her and rested his head on top of hers.

"You okay, honey?" she said, pulling back to look at him.

"I will be, Pyari."

Ram saw her smile, recognizing one of her own expressions coming out of his mouth.

"How about you?"

"I will be, honey," she murmured softly.

She pulled away just as the tea was coming to a boil and Ram saw her heft herself up to the countertop and make herself comfortable.

"What's going on, Ram?"

"You mean regarding Estella?"

"No, honey. What's going on with you?"

He didn't say anything as he concentrated on pouring the tea into the mugs. Their eyes met when he handed her the mug and his were the first to disengage.

"I've got a lot on my mind, MG," he finally said.

"Uh-huh."

"Uhm, things that don't concern you…"

"No, Ram."

"Pardon?" He leaned back against the countertop, mostly in shock. Marianne never told him no.

Ever.

"I said, no."

He caught her eyes and saw that she was serious, deadly serious.

She took a deep breath and a sip of her tea before continuing.

"We are not going to have that kind of play between us. That's not who we are and that's not the kind of relationship I want to have -- and I don't think you do either."

Her words swirled around the room before she went on.

"From practically the moment we met, we've had a connection. I don't feel that connection now. Do you, honey?"

"No," he couldn't deny it. But he was afraid that it was because of what his family had done that made her less open to him.

Made him less open to anything.

"I love you, Ram. And I think you know that. I think you've known that for quite a while."

"Yes. And I think you've known I love you, too, for a long time."

"Well, yeah," she replied with a smile. "The first time you whispered that 'may tumpsay pea - yar thingie, I got Leila on the case. And, you could've knocked me over with a feather, you big Asian - Sub - Continent galoot!"

He threw back his head and laughed.

When he had calmed down, he made his way to her. Placing himself between her legs and running his hands up her thighs, he lowered his lips to hers.

"You talk in your sleep, Pyari," he whispered against her lips.

"No, I don't, honey. I talk when you're asleep. Big difference." He felt her lips curl as she smiled.

And they leaned into each other in the position they both loved to be in, the two of them, their lips lightly pressing, the quiet settling in around them.

Ram broke first, wrapping his arms around her and dragging her off the counter as his lips opened and pressed firmly to hers, his tongue invading. Moaning as he felt her tongue twirl against his with her arms wrapped around his neck, her legs around his waist.

He couldn't move fast enough to his bedroom, couldn't get undressed fast enough, couldn't f*cking wait for her to be naked.

He needed her, f*cking needed to be with her.

Inside her.

But as he finally felt her skin against his, her breasts pressed against his chest, his hips cradled between her thighs, he slowed down.

His heart didn't want fast, his cock wasn't overruling and demanding immediate release.

He just needed her.

To sink himself inside of her.

Their lips met and fused again and again, before leaving to kiss every available inch of skin that had not been touched or tasted in, what felt like, forever.

Hands caressed, touching, dragging, holding.

They explored and rediscovered, their soft murmurs and moans the only noise in the room, in the house.

But, their body's need for connection overcame the relearning.

"I need…," he heard her moan as her legs lifted to grasp him high on his waist.

Ram lifted his hips and rested the hard length of himself against her opening, holding very still, enjoying the heated wetness and the sense of anticipation they'd created.

"Please, Ram," she begged, her voice breaking.

And he slid into her in one long move, deeply. So deeply his balls were pressed up against her.

"I love you, Pyari," he moaned against her neck as his hips took up the rhythm, a rhythm from time primordial. And the feelings that ran from his hard cock to his brain, his heart, were of connection and caring, longing and love, of celebrating being one while still being two.

He raised himself up on one arm so he could watch as their bodies joined, watch her body react to him.

"Ohmigod, Ram," she gritted out her body bowing with her release and he had the urge to speed up his hips, driving into her, working to find his finish. And when it hit, he felt as if it were an earthquake happening inside him, knocking loose all the rocks and debris that separated the two of them.

"Holy hell, Ram. Was it my imagination or was that the best?" she whispered with a note of awe in her voice.

He smiled and rolled onto his back, pulling her against his side. His heart was still slamming around in his chest but he was feeling a peace settle in alongside it as it slowed.

They were quiet, surrounded in silence in the moments afterward.

"Feeling better, Pyari?" he asked at long last.

"Yeah, honey. My heart still hurts to think she's gone, that she was hurting when she died. But nothing I can say, do or feel is going to bring her back," he heard her say as she entwined her fingers with his. "Have they found Greg, yet?"

"Yes, one of his employees gave us an address and he was found," Ram said on a yawn.

"I'll need to contact him to see if he'll need help with the arrangements," she murmured thoughtfully. "Then we'll probably need to contact her friends and let them know."

"I called Aaron and explained that you wouldn't be in for a few days," Ram said and then yawned hugely again.

"Close your eyes, Ram," she whispered.

"Why?"

"Just close them, honey," he heard her say from very far away.



*.*.*.*.*

It had taken me a while to figure it out, but that stupid alarm that he had set up with the police scanner only went off if he didn't answer his cell phone right away. So when I moved myself from the bedroom, I took his cellphone with me and turned off the house phone on the nightstand.

I may not be the Chief of Police but I sure as shit would be acting as Ram's defensive lineman to protect him from being freaking jarred awake. I wasn't certain, but it seemed as if my man was just about ready to collapse. In fact, I was kind of surprised that he was able to put so much energy in our earlier activities since he seemed absolutely exhausted.

The first thing I did was call Tim and explained that Ram couldn't be disturbed for a while and asking him to take the call-outs which he immediately agreed to do. I made a mental note to ask Ram to give him a raise or a promotion or both. Although, I don't think that's how it worked in law enforcement. But, still, Tim should still be rewarded in some way.

I called Cait and asked her to take care of Floyd since I didn't know how long I'd be busy. She was so sweetly sympathetic and kept offering to help any way she could. She'd been here, in this place where the people that were family were taken from you unexpectedly. I loved having her in my life.

I called and left another voicemail for the rat bastard but he still wasn't picking up.

I was thinking of the others that I needed to contact when I heard the first peals of the doorbell. I flew to the front door and yanked it open, determined that Ram was going to get the sleep he so desperately needed.

It was Paul, standing there on the front porch. Standing there with his mouth open, his eyes moving up and down, from my head to Ram's shirt to my bare feet and back up again.

Shit.

"Ah, hey, Paul," I said, taking a half-step back to hide the lower portions of me behind the door.

He blinked a couple of times before speaking.

"Marianne. Uhm, is the Chief here?"

"He's sleeping, Paul. Can it wait?"

Paul's eyes widened as he processed all the information. When his eyebrows finally came down from his hairline, I knew he got it. And by the way those eyebrows kept moving down and moving together, I could tell he didn't like it.

"The Chief?" he said incredulously.

"Yeah, Paul." I wasn't going to play coy, not when I wasn't ashamed of being with Ram and I'd been caught dead to rights.

I waited and watched. He was such a good guy and I hated that he found out this way.

"Tim said he was going to take over until Ram's back on his feet." I finally said into the silence.

"Uhm. Okay. Sure," Paul said. "I'll talk to the Chief later, then."

He gave me a long look, a long searching look.

"If this is what you want, Marianne, then I'm glad for you," he said softly.

See what I mean? Totally good guy.

"Thanks, Paul. For what it's worth, I'm sorry," I said softly back.

"Sorry about your aunt, Marianne."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

He gave me a brief grin before turning away and I softly closed the door behind him.

I stood there for a few moments wondering if there had been a better way to handle that but I couldn't think of any.

I finally crawled into bed with Ram, molding myself to his back around four in the morning. I fell asleep with my nose pressed into his back, breathing in his wonderfully spicy scent and feeling his heartbeat against the arm I'd wrapped around him.

The loud voices woke me right up, though.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was only just after seven and from the way the light was streaming through the windows I could figure that it was in the morning.

Ram was no longer beside me.

I listened and his was one of the loud voices that was echoing down the hall.

I grabbed my yoga pants from the reading chair and made sure all the buttons on Ram's shirt that I'd slept in were completely buttoned before I made my way down the hall.

"…were you going to tell me, Patel? Huh? Or were you even going to bother. Christ, these podunk, small towns…"

"It has nothing to do with the investigation, Grant, and you know it." Ram's voice was a growl.

"Do you know how this f*cking looks, Patel? Do you?"

"She is not your concern. She is not a suspect. She is nothing to you but a couple of lines on your f*cking report."

Okay, now was not the time for me to make them aware of my presence, because I could pretty much figure I was the 'she' in all of those sentences. Not to mention, I didn't want the Matrix agent to know that I had, until about two minutes ago, been firmly ensconced in my boyfriend's bed.

"Then you explain it, Patel. Explain it to me and the rest of the world why the same sort of break-in, the same sort of destruction happened at her f*cking aunt's house. She is involved. I don't know just how yet but you can't deny there's a connection between the two."

"No, I can see the connection. But until we get all the information from the lab…"

"By the time we get the goddamn results, it may be too late."

"I know that, Grant. My team is working the crime scene by the book. We've already gotten approval to fast track the results. If you have any other ideas or can pull any more strings to get things moving quicker, I'm all for them."

"Has she retrieved the f*cking CDs yet, Patel?"

"God, Grant. Cut her some slack. She just lost her aunt."

"This investigation is a lot more important that the individual pieces." Grant said tightly.

"You are a f*cking piece of work," I heard Ram say.

The room was quiet for a long time.

"You need to put her on the back burner, Patel."

"You still haven't told me why me seeing her comprises the case."

"Because," I heard Agent Grant say softly but firmly, "if she is withholding evidence and we found out about it, then you'll be implicated along with her. Is that what you want?"

"What is she withholding? For Christ's sake, you haven't got anything on her except suspicions and even those are the 'what if' kind. Nothing concrete, nothing you can base a case on. Plus, she has access to the CDs which are supposed to be so important to the case, right?"

"F*ck, Patel. Wake up and smell the coffee. Your little girlfriend is in this up to her elbows and you have your head in the sand."

I tiptoed back down the hall and sat on the edge of Ram's bed.

Agent Grant was warning Ram to stay away from me.

From me!

All because of my prior marriage to asshat. I must have said or done something in the interview that made him think I was guilty. Of what, I didn't know.

I loved how Ram was fighting against Grant's prejudice.

But I didn't want him to be blamed for anything, especially nothing to do with the shit Steve had involved me in.

I heard the front door close and eventually Ram made it back down the hall.

"You okay, Pyari?" he asked leaning against the door jam.

"Are you putting your job in jeopardy by being with me, Ram?"

"You heard?"

"It was kind of hard not to, if you want to know the truth," I said softly.

We looked at each other.

"I love you, Pyari," Ram said, his face very serious.

"And I love you, honey," I said equally as serious. "I'll just get dressed and go."

"I'll take you."

I stopped and looked at him. "Why?"

"Because your car is still at the hospital."

Oh, yeah. Duh.

I sighed.

This was such bullshit.

I turned my back to him as I took off his shirt and replaced it with my bra and t-shirt.

"How long do you think this case is going to last?" I asked.

"I don't know," Ram said softly.

"Will you come back to me when it's finished?" It was a hard question for me to ask him, because in some way, on some level, this really felt like we were saying goodbye.

The air behind me moved before his arms wrapped around my waist.

"I will always come back to you, beloved. Always."

"Beloved? That's new."

"No, it's not new. It's just the English translation for what I've always called you."

It took me a minute to get what he meant.

Pyari.

Beloved.

Oh. My. God.

If you would've asked me, I would've said I didn't have any more tears left inside me to shed.

I would've been wrong.