I shake my head. “Trust me, he doesn’t. He said to me, and I quote, ‘Take your declaration of love, and tell it to someone who wants it.’”
“Oh, honey. Well, if that’s the truth, that he doesn’t love you—which I highly doubt—then Tom Carter is a bigger goddamn fool than I thought he was. He’s always been a player, but when I saw him with you, I thought it was different. I saw the way he would look at you when he thought no one was watching, and I thought that was it for him, that you were it.”
I know she doesn’t mean to, but her words are hurting me. A stray tear escapes, trickling down into the corner of my mouth.
“Can we…just not talk about this right now?”
“Anything you want, honey.” She reaches over and turns on the radio.
Bananarama’s “Cruel Summer” starts to beat out into the car. I start to sing along, channeling my pain in the way I know best.
The song is just coming to an end when it’s cut off by my cell ringing through the Bluetooth set in my car.
A glance at my phone screen tells me it’s Aunt Steph calling. I don’t feel up to talking, but I haven’t called her in a while, so she won’t give up until I answer. My Aunt Steph is persistent like that if I go too long without talking to her.
“Hi, I’m just in the car with a friend. Can I call you back?”
“Ly…” she says, her voice breaking.
The sound comes like a hand around my throat.
“It’s Dex. He’s in the hospital. He-he—” She starts to sob.
My pulse hits adrenaline. Panicked, I swerve out of traffic. I vaguely register a horn blaring and then the sound of Shannon cursing low, but none of that matters. I can’t be driving this car right now.
Skidding into an open spot on the side of the road, I hit the brakes. “Dex? Is he okay? Oh God, what happened?”
Aunt Steph takes in a deep breath. “Dex…he took a lot of pills…alcohol. They’re saying…the doctor said he overdosed…but he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t try to…not on purpose—” She breaks down again.
He overdosed?
Dex. Overdose.
No, that can’t be right. He wouldn’t hurt himself like that.
Then, I remember how he sounded that night in San Diego.
Desperate. In pain.
How my mom used to sound.
The last thing he said to me was…I’m sorry.
Oh no.
He tried to kill himself.
It’s my fault. I wouldn’t listen to him. I wouldn’t forgive him.
Guilt overwhelming me, I bury my face in my hands and begin to sob.
Forty Minutes Later—Waiting Area, Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, LA
“You want anything to drink, honey?”
I look up into Shannon’s perfectly made-up face. I imagine that I look like a total mess. Not that looking good is really high on my list of priorities right now. I still rub my fingers under my eyes, trying to clean away the mascara I know is there, not wanting to scare people with my panda eyes.
“Hold on. I’ve got some wipes.” Shannon rummages in her bag and pulls out a pack of makeup wipes.
She’s always prepared. She takes one out and tilts my face up toward her. She starts to clear the makeup from underneath my eyes.
“You’ll give me a tic, rubbing at your eyes like that. I’m not having my superstar looking old before her time.” She gives me a gentle smile. “There. All done.” She throws the wipe in the trash.
“Thank you,” I say.
“Not needed. It’s my job to care about your appearance.”
“I didn’t mean just the face clean. I meant, you being here…I really appreciate it.”
She sits beside me and pats my hand. “The face clean is me doing my job. Me waiting here with you…this is me being your friend.”
“I’m glad you’re my friend,” I say, resting my head against her shoulder.
I really need a friend right now. I try not to think about the one person I wish were here.
At that thought, my best friends come bursting through the door.
I called Cale the moment I got off the phone with Aunt Steph. I knew he would want to be here. Sonny was going to be my next call, but after Cale got over the initial shock, he said he would call Sonny. To be honest, I was glad I didn’t have to make the call. The only other call I wanted to make was to Tom. I wanted to speak to him so badly that it hurt me not to.
“How is he?” Cale crouches down before me.
Sonny takes the seat on my right.
I shake my head. “I don’t know. The doctor came out when we got here. They’re treating him right now. He said he’d come back when he had more to tell us.”
Cale takes my hand in his and squeezes it.
I can’t stop the tears from starting again, them spilling down over my cheeks.
“Don’t, Ly…don’t you blame yourself for this,” Cale says.
I bite my lip, trying to stop the tears. “Cale…that night in the club, he was begging me to talk to him, and I wouldn’t listen.”
He cradles my face in his hands. “Listen to me. You had every good reason not to listen. You haven’t done anything wrong. Nothing. Do you hear me?”
“Cale’s right,” Sonny says in a gentle voice.
I meet Sonny’s eyes.