I hear and feel a murmur of understanding rumble through his chest.
“And you don’t answer his calls because you don’t know how to forgive him.”
“No,” I whisper into his shirt.
His mouth is close to my hair, his breath blowing through the strands.
“Forgiveness is the hardest thing in the world to give. It can take some people a long time to get there. And some never get there at all.”
My heart ratchets up a beat. I lift my head from his chest, looking up at him.
“Just don’t beat yourself up on the trek to it.” He’s smiling at me softly. He tips my chin up with his fingers. “You know, the more I learn about you, Firecracker, the more you make sense to me.”
I don’t even ask what he means by that. I’m not ready to dig any deeper into this moment than what’s already happening.
“So, aside from the music torture, you’re doing okay?” His beautiful eyes are boring into mine.
Tenderness rises in me. I stare right back into his sincere eyes and then at his mouth. The mouth I’m so desperate to reach up and kiss.
I move my eyes past him. “I’m doing okay.”
His fingers move from my chin to tuck my hair behind my ear. “Well, if you find you ever get stuck…you know, getting there, I’m here.”
Looking back to him, I smile. “How do you manage to make everything sound dirty?”
He laughs lightly. “I don’t, Firecracker. Like we established before, you just have a dirty mind.”
Shaking my head, I chuckle as I press my palm flush against his chest. I can feel his heart pounding beneath my hand.
“Thank you,” I say with sincerity.
“Nothing to thank me for.” He releases me, stepping away. “I’m gonna hit the sack now—alone.” He emphasizes the last word. “So, don’t try to follow me to bed.”
“Good night, Tom.” I force a smile, feeling bereft without his touch, and squashing the feeling of disappointment that he’s going to bed.
I turn back to making my hot chocolate.
“Ly?” Tom says.
“Yeah.” I look at him over my shoulder.
“Not all men are cheating idiots. Rally, Dex, Chad—all muts.”
“Muts,” I agree with nod.
“Your guy is out there. One who won’t be a mut. There’s a guy who deserves an awesome girl like you.”
My heart starts thumpity-thumping again.
And I can’t help but hear that ridiculous, over-romanticized voice in the back of my mind that’s telling me if I ever saw stupid and trusted a guy in that way again…then I would want it to be Tom.
A Few Days Later—Sketchy-Looking Bar at a Truck Stop, Somewhere Between Kansas and Missouri
We’re seven days into the tour. We’ve already done six shows.
I’d say I’m exhausted, and I am, but I’m loving every minute of it!
We’re currently somewhere between Kansas and Missouri in a bar called— Actually, I have no clue what the name of the bar is.
Before heading to Jefferson City to play a show tomorrow night, we have a rare night off.
And we’re at a truck stop.
When on the road, glamour doesn’t come into it.
I did just want to chill and have a quiet night on the bus, but the guys talked me into coming out for dinner with everyone.
So, here I am, finishing off my fries after eating half of a very questionable burger.
The food might be a bit sketchy here, but the beer on tap rocks! I’m two pints in and ready for another. I’m ready for that other beer because I’ve had to endure watching Ashlee paw over Tom during the entire dinner. Granted, he’s kept his hands to himself, but it hasn’t stopped him from flirting right back with her.
And he’s barely spoken to me—let alone, looked at me.
Hard to take when I’ve had his attention all week.
Yes, I know exactly how I sound, which is why I’m seriously considering banging my head against this table any second now.
“You all right, honey?” Shannon pulls up a chair beside me at the end of the table.
“I’m great.” I give her a megawatt smile to emphasize the fact that I really am.
Even though I’m kind of not.
I’m feeling all these confusing things about Tom. The more time I spend with him, the more I like him.
But I don’t want to like him. I can’t like him.
And it really pisses me off when I have to see other women all over him.
I know it’s irrational, and it’s my shit to deal with, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less, especially when it’s happening right in front of me.
I’ve really gotten to like Shannon after spending more time with her. Ashlee, not so much. If she’s not hitting on my boys or Tom, she’s busy looking in the mirror.
Shannon smiles at me and pats my hand. “Honey, when a girl tells me she’s all right and I get to see all her teeth in that smile, then I know she’s far from all right.” She looks down the table at Tom and then back to me.
“It’s Tom, right?” she asks, lowering her voice.