“And you shouldn’t have called me your boyfriend.” He looks down at me as he opens the door of the restaurant for me.
“I’m sorry,” I start. “I shouldn’t have said that. I just wanted her to go away.” And I wanted to stake my claim, even though I had no right to one.
He looks down at me beneath the street light. “You shouldn’t have said it because you gave me hope,” he says.
I can’t speak. I can’t utter out a sound.
“Come home with me,” he says.
I shake my head.
He sighs heavily. “You know how this is going to end.”
“I shouldn’t.” I really, really shouldn’t.
“Fine,” he says, and then he bends at the waist and tosses me over his shoulder, just like the night before. Only this time, his hand is on my ass, under my skirt, instead of holding the backs of my legs. It’s hot, pressed against my panties.
I can’t say a word to him, because he wouldn’t hear me. So, I just hang there, all the way to his building, and up four flights of stairs.
He opens the door and walks inside. His brothers are there, and they look up. Sam and Pete snicker, and Paul shoots them a look. Matthew is on the sofa, and he shakes his head.
Logan puts me down. Apparently, I’m not a side show attraction tonight. “Hi,” I say tentatively to them all.
“Hi,” they call back. They don’t get up and rush over to me, not even when he sets me on my feet and steadies me. “You’re back,” Matthew says as he walks to the fridge.
He looks better tonight. Not quite as green.
Sam walks to the kitchen and Paul snarks at him when he reaches for a beer. He takes a soda, instead, grumbling to himself.
Logan signs something to them. Pete tells him the name of the movie, and it’s one I haven’t heard of. Logan points to the TV and then to me asking me if I’ve seen it.
I shake my head. He sets my bag and my guitar on floor, and laces his fingers with mine. He tugs me gently toward the couch. Logan bumps Sam and Pete’s knees until they scoot down. There’s barely enough space for him, much less for me. “I’m going to go take a shower,” I complain.
But he sits down and pulls me into his side, his arm around my shoulders.
Matt gives me a look I don’t understand. He doesn’t seem completely pleased by my being there. Did I do something to offend him?
But Logan looks down at me and smiles, and then places his lips against my forehead. Matt gets up and goes to his room, but not before shooting me a glance that I couldn’t help but take as a warning.
Logan
She fell asleep curled into my side. The credits roll on the TV and I don’t want to move. I don’t want to set her away from me. My arm is sweating where she’s pressed up against me, and her hairline is damp. I reach over and brush her hair back, and she blinks her brown eyes at me. “Is it over?” she asks.
She stretches, her arms raising high above her head.
I nod. The movie’s over. But my feelings for her are not. They’re just beginning. I like having her on my couch. And I like it even more that she’s so soft in my arms.
“Good movie,” Paul says.
She looks over at him like she’s surprised he’s there. Sam and Pete went to bed as soon as the credits rolled, and Matt is in bed, too. “Sorry I fell asleep,” she says. She wipes the side of her mouth, and I draw her in to give her a hug. She pulls back all too soon, looking askance at Paul. “I’m going to take a shower,” she says.
I nod and help her to her feet. She picks up her bag and goes into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. I flop back onto the couch and cover my face with my hands. This girl will shred me. I already know she will. And I’m jumping in with everything I am despite the fact that I know it.
“Want to talk about it?” Paul asks. Matt comes into the living room and drops down on the sofa beside me.
You too? I sign and then throw my hands up in surrender.
Matt grins and shrugs his shoulders.
You guys like her, right? I ask. Their opinions do matter to me.
Paul nods, while Matt shakes his head. What the fuck? It’s like they’re at opposite ends of the spectrum.
Matt lays a hand on my knee so I’ll look at him. “I like her,” he says. He’s talking while he signs, which makes it easier to listen. “But how much do you know about her?” His eyebrows draw together.
I don’t know anything about her. Nothing, I admit. I don’t know a damn thing about her. I lean forward so I can prop my elbows on my knees. I feel like I can’t breathe. She won’t tell me anything. Not even her name.
“What’s she hiding?” Matt asks.
I wish I knew. I flop back against the couch again.
“She looks so familiar to me,” Paul says, looking toward the closed bathroom door. He shakes his head. “I wish I could place her.”
She busks in the subway tunnels every day, I sign with a shrug.
“It’s more than that,” Paul says. He shakes his head, like he’s shaking his crazy thoughts away. There’s no way he could know her from anywhere else.
“She staying over again?” Matt asks.
I nod.