“No, but they think that they are close. I’ve been working with the detectives on my case. I’ve actually become really good friends with this one woman named Liz, she has been so nice to me and I don’t have a lot of friends so it’s been really nice, Uncle Lenny.” Kate plastered a smile on her face to try to appear less upset but nothing about telling this story made her happy.
“Kate, did he...uhm, you know, did he hurt you, uhm... privately?” Lenny asked uncomfortably trying to side step the actual words. Thankfully, the waiter picked that moment to interrupt them as he brought their drinks and burgers, filling the table with the smell of perfectly cooked meat on a savory burger. They both silently agreed to take a pause from their conversation to salt their food and take the first bite, eager to have something in their starving bellies.
“Yes.” Kate said in between bites, quickly and in a low volume almost hoping that her uncle wouldn’t hear her response. He paused mid-bite, startled, but didn’t look up at her, then went back to eating as if in order to absorb the information he had to swallow it down with his food and allow it to swirl in his stomach. Sit with the full sensation of information that’s too hard to think about and picture, so you just feel it. You feel that swelling in your heart and the queasiness in your stomach and that’s all the information you need. The sickening thoughts and graphic images can be erased as each bite of food is slowly digested until it disappears.
“I don’t know what to say, Katey. I feel helpless. I want to be able to stop it from ever happening or find the guy and murder him, but I can’t. You never should have gone through that, Katey. You didn’t deserve it, no one deserves that.” Lenny said softly as he sipped his ale. His entire face was contorted with pain for her. He had raised her as his own and had been trusted with her care. He felt like a failure that she had experienced this and he had not been able to protect her.
“I know, Uncle Lenny. It’s not your fault, don’t burden yourself with this. Life just isn’t fair sometimes. I was telling the detective the other day that maybe some good will come out of this. Maybe in order to find my future, I needed something to jolt me out of the past. I’ve been stuck in a rut, stuck in a life I didn’t want and still dwelling on pains from my childhood, from dad’s death, from all these things that I need to let go of. Maybe this whole ordeal can become a catalyst for a new life, a better life, a better me.” Kate explained to him but also to herself. She believed what she was saying but the tiny shred of doubt needed reassurance.
“That’s very mature, Katey. You really have grown up over all these years. Your father would be proud.” Uncle Lenny said to her with a smile even though his eyes were filled with sadness. Kate held onto the last sentence about her father as if it was a piece of him that she could have back. After all the bad blood between them, he was still her father and she had loved him deeply. Aside from Annie, he had been her only family for a long time and she cherished that.
The two sat in a comfortable silence as they finished their meals. It was a gentle break of knowing that words couldn’t fix what had happened but that the closeness of a loved one could. The power of his presence was enough to sooth her for the time being and she didn’t need to talk it out further or go into details, all she needed was for her uncle to be there for her and with her.
After a while, they finished their food and parted ways. Lenny made her promise to keep him updated on the case and she said she would. She told him Annie was visiting this weekend and they made plans to all have brunch together. Things were seemingly back to normal, the weight of hiding this part of her new life from her uncle was gone and she felt more like herself again. She hadn’t even realized how much stress and anxiety she had been harboring over withholding this from her uncle until it was finally unbridled and she was breathing fresh air again.
~~~~
“Liz, this isn’t adding up. We have been over everything time and time again but I don’t see it. What the hell are we missing?” Liz’s partner, Mike, shoved his hand roughly through his hair, trying to stifle his frustration. Both of them were in the same clothes as yesterday, huddled into a back room with papers and files laid out on every open surface.
The trash can was piled high with vending machine snack bags and paper coffee cups and both detectives looked like someone had taken a black marker and drawn semi circles under their eyes.