“Close your eyes,” I said, stopping.
She smiled, and I could tell the anticipation was getting to her. She closed her eyes, and I slowly led her forward, through the clearing, where the sun fought its way through the canopy and showered us with light, to the other side.
“I can hear water.”
“Careful,” I warned, leading her onto the track again. “Just take it slow.”
I pushed overhanging branches aside for her, and the bush gave way to the slow-moving river. We were downstream from the waterfall, able to hear it but protected from the eddies and the spray. The river curved gently away from the falls, and this protected, sheltered spot was like a slice of heaven on earth, especially at this time of day.
Native birds called to each other in the distance, invisible to us but lending a peaceful ambience that always seemed to soothe my ragged soul. The contour of the earth dipped down into the river, and once you were in the water, it felt like you were a million miles away from civilisation.
“Open your eyes,” I said gently, squeezing her hand.
I watched her as she did so, eager to see the look on her face when she saw where she was.
Her mouth fell open, just slightly, and her eyes widened as she took in the view. With the sun reflecting off the surface, the water looked impossibly blue and clear, like something you might see in the Bahamas. Even the sand on the riverbed was almost white.
“It’s so beautiful,” she murmured, turning to me.
I smiled, my heart skipping a beat. She may not remember it, or know that it was significant or special, but she recognised the beauty in it and that was enough. I let go of the cooler bag and leaned in to capture her lips with mine, curling my arms around her waist and drawing her in closer.
It’s incredible, how things can be so strained, so wrong, so out of control one minute. And then the next, it’s as if everything is so right, you can barely remember what it used to feel like. That’s what she had done for me. She had put a wall between the me of a week ago, and the me of right now. I could barely remember what the old me would be doing now, if she wasn’t here. It was difficult to know what day it was. I found myself wanting to spend every single moment with her, and when she wasn’t with me, I was counting down the hours until she was. The feeling was so all-encompassing that I often found my mind wandering. It was as if my brain was struggling to remain on an even keel, constantly pulled off kilter, leaning towards her and away from the rest of the world. Being around her was the most intense natural high I had ever experienced, and like any addict, I wanted more.
I pulled away from her, slowly, reluctantly, tucking a stray hair behind her ear.
“You’re so beautiful,” I murmured, taking in every detail of her face.
Every time I looked at her, I saw something new. It was like discovering her for the first time, every time.
“No one’s ever said that to me,” she whispered. “Not that I remember, anyway.”
I ached for her. My body, my heart, my soul – every part of me.
“I look in the mirror, and all I see is a face,” she said quietly. “Eyes, skin, hair. Fragments of someone else – bits and pieces that don’t really add up to anything. I don’t even know who ‘me’ is. But when you look at me, it’s different. I don’t know why, and I don’t care, but it just is. You don’t just see me, you look inside me. You make me feel whole.”
I gently took her face in my hands, making sure her eyes were on me, leaving no room for misunderstanding. “You make me feel whole, too.”
She closed her eyes, as if she was giving herself to me, and I took her. I took her lips in mine, her heart in mine, her soul in mine. I wanted all of her and it felt like we were in total agreement.
Breathlessly, I pulled away. I smiled, rocking slightly with her in my arms.
“I don’t know about you, but I need to cool off.”
She nodded, any residual sadness now gone, replaced by a cheeky smile that made me want to kiss her again. I resisted though, pulling my t-shirt off and running straight for the river, knees tucked up, maximum splash for your buck. I popped up, shaking my head like a dog and sending water spraying everywhere. At this point in the river, it was less than ten metres wide. Narrow and intimate, with the bank rising up steeply behind us, covered in native bush, the water refreshingly cool. It was like a private pool, and we had it all to ourselves.