chapter Twenty
Dex finished work at five thirty and walked down to Matariki. The café had closed, but when he knocked on the door, Koru—who had been sitting at one of the tables working on some paperwork—came over and unlatched it.
The two men stared at each other across the threshold of the shop.
“I think we need to talk,” Dex said. It had taken him all day to work up the courage to face Honey’s brother.
“You think?” Koru stepped out and indicated one of the wooden tables on the tiles outside the café. “Have a seat.”
Dex sat, thankful that Koru hadn’t immediately tried to knock his teeth down his throat. That boded well. Didn’t it?
Koru sat opposite him and leaned back in his chair, one arm hooked over the back, playing with a pen with his other hand. He didn’t say anything.
Dex placed his police officer’s hat on the table and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Cam said you wanted to cut off my dick and stuff it down my throat.”
That brought a wry smile to Koru’s face. “I may have said that.”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I’m sorry.”
Koru’s smile turned to a frown. “I don’t get why you did it. I thought you loved Honey.”
“I do. Christ I do.” Dex rested his head in his hands. “It was stupid. It wasn’t a loving kiss—I was mad. Cathryn kept talking and saying awful things, and I wanted to shut her up.”
“You could have just said ‘please shut the f*ck up.’”
“I know. I can’t excuse it.” Dex decided the best course of action was to tell the truth rather than p-ssyfoot around. Koru was a good mate and he felt almost as devastated that he’d upset him and his father as that he’d upset Honey. Almost. “I don’t know what happened. I let it slip that Honey and I haven’t slept together yet.”
“Jeez, why?”
“I don’t know. I think I wanted to prove to Cathryn that we—Honey and I—are special. That it goes beyond sex, you know? Because that’s all Cathryn and I were about. And it was good—I can’t deny it. Or bad, depending on how you look at it. Bad, bad sex.” He sank his fingers into his hair. “And she started taunting me about it, asking me what I’d do if Honey doesn’t want to do the sort of things I like…” His voice tailed off, and he sighed. “It’s been such a long time—six months since I met Honey. I’m so keyed up, and nervous about the weekend. I just…snapped, I guess. Maybe I wanted to remind myself why I left her. Or maybe I’m just an evil bastard deep down, I don’t know. It was wrong and I wish I hadn’t done it. And I am sorry.”
He fell quiet. A brief shower pattered on the roofs of the shops in the tiny mall, and every now and again one found its way through the latticework of flowers above their heads and landed on his skin. The air smelled of autumn, of dying leaves from the trees lining the north side of the mall, of the end of summer.
He leaned back in his chair, exhausted, wishing it was Saturday and he was married, and he could just whisk Honey away to their honeymoon destination alone.
“I always thought waiting until the wedding night was a crazy idea,” Koru said. To Dex’s relief, Koru’s lips curved up at the corner. “But I admired you both for it—and especially you. It’s not easy for a guy to go so long, but I knew you wanted to do it because of your ex, and also that you understood Honey better in two weeks than Mc-F*cking-Idiot did in two years. All women like to be treasured, to feel special, but Honey especially after what happened to her, and the fact that you were willing to wait rated you highly in my book.”
Dex picked at flaking skin on his knuckles. “I do love her.”
“Yeah, I know. You’re not evil, Dex. You’re just a guy. We’re all led by our dicks, and sometimes it feels like we don’t even have a choice, you know? Women think that’s a get out clause and that we’re weak, but I don’t think it’s that. Hormones are powerful things.”
“Your dad said women are like sirens,” Dex murmured, remembering what Cam had told him about the girl who’d refused to accept her relationship with Koru was over. “He said they call out to your soul and you go running whether you want to or not.”
“He’s right. Did Honey tell you that Mum was married when Dad met her?”
Dex’s eyes widened. “No!”
“We don’t talk about it much now—she probably forgot. Mum got married at seventeen, here in New Zealand, to an older guy. She was unhappy at home with her parents and I think she just wanted to escape. A year later Dad came on holiday here with a mate who was visiting his folks. He said he just walked in a café one day and Wham! That was it. He knew she was married, but he couldn’t keep away from her. He persuaded her to leave her husband and fly back with him. It was the scandal of the year in the small English town he lived in. But he didn’t care. He said he had no choice in the matter. She was his the moment he saw her whether she wanted to be his or not.”
Dex shook his head. “I never knew.”
“Yeah. That’s what women do to us. And look, not that I know anything—or want to know anything—about my sister’s sex life,” Koru continued, “but I don’t think you should worry too much about Honey in bed. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. She lights up like a candle every time you’re near. And that’s the reason I’ll let it this go—this time.”
Dex met Koru’s brown-eyed gaze and let out a slow, shaky breath of relief.
“On one condition,” Koru said. “That you don’t tell her out of some f*cking do-gooder need to absolve yourself.”
“I won’t.”
“She won’t be able to cope with it, Dex.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
Koru nodded. “All right. Let’s forget about it. Are you going over there now?”
“Yeah. Any chance of a coffee before I go?”
“I’ve just cleaned the machine…” He sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”
The two men walked into the shop, talking about the rugby game that night, and Dex’s heart felt a little lighter for the first time in days. He was going to get through this. He’d take it as a warning shot across his bow. He couldn’t think that his past would ever be over and done—it would always be there, buried like an archaeological artefact, waiting to be uncovered. And maybe one day the winds of time would blow the surface dust away and it would rear its ugly head again, but he’d deal with it then.
Deep inside, a little voice reminded him that Cathryn could still be in Kerikeri, but he squashed it like a bug and refused to listen.
Koru set to making him a latte, grinding the coffee beans and steaming the milk. As he waited for the espresso to pour into the takeaway cup, his mobile rang where he’d left it on the table with his paperwork.
“Hello? Hey. Oh, sorry, it was on the table and I was outside with Dex. Yeah—about ten minutes probably. Er…” He glanced over his shoulder and looked through the window to the kitchen where Cam was tidying up. “Yeah, he’s still here. Why? What’s happened?” He listened for a moment, and then his eyes widened and he looked up at Dex. “Where is she now? And where’s Honey?”
An ice cube slid down Dex’s spine.
Koru banged the milk jug furiously on the table and turned off the coffee machine. “I’ll be right over.” He clipped his phone shut.
Dex stood. “What’s going on?”
“That was Lily. Your ex showed up at the house. Lily let her in—she didn’t realise who she was. The f*cking bitch told her she was a friend of yours.”
“What happened?”
“I’m not sure, but Honey’s had a meltdown.” Koru grabbed his keys. “I’ll just tell Dad.”
Dex stood there, boiling with frustration and desperation as Koru marched into the kitchen to tell his father. Cam gave a loud expletive and then the men came through the door.
“Lock up behind us,” Cam said curtly to his son.
They went out and Koru locked the shop. Cam turned to Dex, anger written all over his face. “You’d best stay here,” he said. “We’ll go home and try to sort things out.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“I think it best if—”
“I’m coming with you,” Dex said again. “It’s my fiancée and it’s my ex who’s upset her. I need to get this sorted.”
Cam stared him, then nodded.
“I’ll go in my car and meet you there.” Dex walked off.
He’d never known a journey to take so long in his life. All the way to Stormwind, his heart pounded and he felt close to throwing up. What had Cathryn said to her? She would have told Honey about the kiss, obviously. Was that all, or had she said other cruel things?
He pounded the steering wheel, nearly veering off the road in the process—not good when he was driving a cop car still in uniform. But at that moment, he could happily have taken Cathryn’s neck in his hands and squeezed until she stopped breathing. Hatred welled inside him, clear and pure. She’s ill, people had said to him at the time, not quite right in the head. You should feel sorry for her.
Like f*ck he should. He was done feeling sorry.
He shook his head. He couldn’t dwell on Cathryn now. His first priority had to be Honey, and how to put things right with her.
He refused to accept that he couldn’t put things right. Somehow, he’d make her understand how much he loved her.
Eventually, after what seemed like forever, he pulled up at the house. Cam and Koru slid into the parking spot beside him. Lily’s car sat in the drive next to Honey’s. Honey’s car had a smashed windscreen. Dex swallowed, hoping she hadn’t been hurt.
They got out and ran into the house. Lily stood in the centre of the living room. Always pale, now she looked as white as a sheet of paper, her eyes wide with worry as her father and brother walked in.
“Where is she?” Dex demanded as he came in behind them.
Lily’s gaze slid to him and her eyes narrowed. “She doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“Where is she?” Cam echoed.
“She’s locked herself in the downstairs bathroom.”
Dex twitched to walk there but Koru grabbed his arm. “Just wait a minute.”
Cam went out of the room and along the corridor. Dex heard him knock on the door.
“Honey?” Cam called. “It’s Dad.”
Dex could just hear her murmur something.
“I’m not going away. Come out please, we need to talk.”
Another murmur.
“Come out and talk like a grown up, please. Koru’s here and so’s Dex.”
This time there was no murmur. Dex walked slowly to the doorway and looked along the corridor to where Cam leaned against the doorjamb.
“Come on, sweetheart, come out.” Cam folded his arms, head bowed. “Nothing’s happened that we can’t get over together.”
“Leave me alone.” This time Dex heard her words.
“Dex is here and he wants to see you,” Cam said. “He loves you, sweetheart, and he’s sorry.”
“Tell him to f*ck off.”
Dex closed his eyes.
“Honey, come on,” Cam urged. “You’re not twelve anymore. Come out.”
“I want some time to myself. Just go away.”
“Please come out and just talk to Dex. He’s your fiancé and you’re getting married on Saturday—you need to talk to him.”
Honey murmured something that Dex didn’t catch. Cam sighed and looked over at him.
“What did she say?” Dex asked.
“She said ‘The wedding’s off.’”