No sex yet. I wanted to do to him what he’d done to me.
This time when my shaking hands went to the buttons on his shorts, he didn’t stop me. I could feel his racing heart against my shoulder. He let me undress him, and in that moment, as I acquainted myself with all of him for the first time, I learned the power of being a woman—the weakness in his eyes brought on by my touch—and the underlying trust and love I saw there. My nervousness disappeared, replaced by curiosity and a desire to make him happy. It brought me tremendous satisfaction as he reacted and lost himself in the caress of my hands and my lips.
Afterward we showered in the moonlight, lost in our new knowledge of each other. But each kiss and touch was overshadowed by one repetitive thought.
I’m still a virgin.
We wrapped ourselves in towels and went back in, eating sandwiches on the bed while Kaidan made fun of the pop love ballads on Marna’s playlist. Funny how he knew the words to so many of them.
When we finished dinner, I looked at the clock. Kaidan had walked to the window and stood staring out, towel still around his waist. I refused to let him think too much. I didn’t want any insecurities of his to rise up between us.
“Hey,” I said softly. “It’ll be midnight soon. Our wedding day is almost over.”
His face clouded, and my stomach tightened.
I stood on the far side of the bed. “Come here.”
Kaidan walked over slowly, keeping his eyes on me in my towel. When he got to the other side of the bed he put his joined hands on top of his head and eyed me across the king-size expanse. He made me feel crazy in so many ways.
I reached for the edge of my towel, and before I could think too much about it, I pulled it off, letting it drop to the floor. The cloudiness in his gaze turned stormy. I crawled across the bed toward him. I watched the surprise and lust flash across his features as I reached him and raised up on my knees to face him. My heart was beating overtime.
“Are you scared?” I asked him.
The master of lust seemed to have lost his cool because his response was a grunted, “Hm?”
“Been too long?” I cocked my head to the side. “Out of practice?”
He hadn’t been with anyone in eight months. For Kaidan Rowe, that was an eternity.
His eyes got wider than I’d ever seen them, full of indignation, and I felt a rush of mean potency in my blood. Acting as the vixen he often called me, I reached out and pinched his nipple. Hard.
He let out a small holler and grabbed my wrist. With my other hand I tore off his towel. In a movement too quick for me to comprehend, he was on top of me, pinning me to the bed.
“You win,” he ground out, breathing hard.
I wanted to laugh at the thrill of my victory, but his seriousness snuffed that urge. I tried to move my hips up to him, but his body pressed me down. I stroked his cheek, which had grown a five o’clock shadow, and he rested his forehead against mine. I felt his worries creeping in—the deeds of his past haunting him.
“This is right, Kai. We love each other.”
He closed his eyes. “I’d do anything for you.”
“Just love me,” I whispered.
“I need you to know this is different for me. I’ve never felt like this with someone. I don’t just love you, Anna. I adore you.”
I kissed him, and when he pulled away his hair hung around his eyes in sexy strands. I knew from the deep look he gave me that this was about to happen.
“Don’t look away from me, Anna,” he said.
I nodded. Nervous. Excited. “Okay.”
“If you need to stop—”
“Kai. I’m not fragile.”
“Right.”
I watched him swallow, then close his eyes as a shiver ran through his body. When he opened his eyes again, color poured through the air around him—the vivid, hot pink of passionate love.
Kaidan was showing me his colors.
It was my turn to swallow hard as I beheld the special gift he was offering. Under his thick aura of love was a strand of gray worry and even darker self-loathing. I wished I could make those go away, but only he held that power. Still . . .
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered back.
I hitched a leg around him to pull him closer. He shifted above me, his body powerful and graceful. His hips curved toward mine and I moved to meet him, gasping at the contact. I never took my eyes from Kai as we became one.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
DANCING WITH LIGHT
My goal had been to stay awake with Kaidan all night, but I must have dozed off because I woke at three a.m. with that eerie feeling of being watched. Moonlight streamed through the curtains, and I found Kaidan sleeping soundly next to me. I looked around the room, but saw nothing out of the ordinary.