He lifts his left, then his right foot, putting us both on the first step. “I stared at you on my phone tonight. I didn’t really like it.”
We make it a few more steps as he leans further into me, causing me to let go of his wrist and grip the handrail instead. “Yeah? Let’s get you upstairs and then you can tell me why you didn’t like it.”
“I didn’t like it, Dylan.”
“I know. Come on. Just a little more. We’re almost there.” We get two steps away from the door when Reese suddenly drops to his knees, pulling me down with him. “Reese! Hold… what are you doing?”
He turns awkwardly until he’s sitting on the step. His head drops between slouched shoulders, and I see the slight shake of his hands as they hang over his knees. I slide next to him, placing a hand on his thigh. He lifts his head and turns to me, the worry in his eyes evident. “I can’t just stare at pictures of you. It’s not enough.”
“Well, I’m right here. You don’t have to stare at pictures. Let’s go upstairs and you can look at me all you want.” I go to stand when his hand grabs my wrist, halting me.
“I watch you all the time.” I lower myself back down as he drops his gaze, staring off at nothing. “If I’m not touching you, I want to be.”
“I know the feeling,” I interject, gaining his attention immediately.
His face hardens. “No. You don’t.” I open my mouth to argue but stop myself when I see the conviction in his eyes. “It’s constant, Dylan. You invade every thought I have even when they have nothing to do with you. I’m not just in love with you. I’m kind of obsessed. And the thought of somebody else watching you the way I do, or needing to touch you like I do…” He pauses, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m terrified.”
I scoot closer, crawling into this lap. His eyes open and refocus on mine as I cradle his face in my hands. “He barely touched me. I’d never let him or anyone else put their hands on me the way you do.” He tries to shake his head but I stop him. “You don’t need to be scared. I got him good. And I’ll do worse if he tries it again.”
His hands grab my wrists and pull down, removing my grip. “I’m not scared he’ll touch you. I’m scared of what I’ll do when I find him.”
I’m familiar with that feeling. It consumed me until Reese took it away. Now it’s my turn to comfort him.
I look down at his hand resting in my lap. “I used to be scared of what you would do to him. It’s why I didn’t tell you about seeing him at the club. But then you told me something that took away that worry. Do you remember?” He registers my questions with a slight shake of his head. I shift in his lap, placing my hands on his shoulders and apply gentle pressure. “You said you were a smart guy, and you would never do anything that could get you into trouble. And I knew that was true. I also knew you would never do anything to hurt me. And getting yourself taken away from me because of what you want to do to Bryce would hurt me. You’re not the only one who couldn’t survive on just pictures to stare at.” He rakes a quick hand through his hair, leaving it a right mess. “Is this why you went out drinking?”
He frowns. “I hated what you said to me. About me working with Bryce after knowing how he made you feel. It killed me to hear you say that. Because I know how it looks. I fucking know. And I just wanted to stop thinking about everything.” He squints, flattening his hand against his temple. “It didn’t help.”
“I didn’t mean it. I was just angry because I thought you were blaming me for what happened.”
He grabs my face with both hands and forces me closer, putting us inches apart. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I didn’t mean to say that. I’m just so fucking frustrated that this shit is taking so long. But I’m close. I’m so fucking close, Dylan. It’s almost over, okay?”