Shit.
“I ... I don’t have ... any facts?” I shrugged, trying not to sound like a complete bastard. I knew that girlfriends were supposed to believe each other no matter what, but I wasn’t her girlfriend. And, when I looked at Willow and Ember side by side, I saw two counter culture children who could very likely share DNA.
“Oh you know what, you and Bo can just go shove it, okay? There’s no way that on top of everything else I went through in my childhood that my parents would have lied to me, too.”
“Ember, your childhood wasn’t anything to go through. Calm down. And, who’s to say that even if it were true, which I’m not saying it is, that anyone knows about it?”
Ember rested her elbow on the tiny ledge next to the window. “Willow says she asked her parents about it when she was in college and stumbled across pictures of us as kids.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“I know it is.”
“So ... why not ask your parents? I mean, seriously. Willow’s one ... interesting chick, but ... why would she lie about this?” Ember glared at me, but I continued. “Think about it, Ember. She’s got money, status, and plenty of family and friends. Why would she lie about this, but only tell you about it? If she wanted to make a thing about it, wouldn’t she, like, I don’t know, put it on Twitter, or something?”
Ember was silent for a few seconds, and when I looked over at her, I found her wiping under her eyes.
“Em, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be pushy.”
“No,” she sniffed, “it’s okay. This has just been really under my skin. I don’t know if it’s because I think it’s true, or what ... Bo thinks I should just talk to my parents and get it over with. I feel bad, though. I didn’t mean to be so bitchy with Georgia, but this was just ... taking up my brain space.”
I pulled my eyebrows together. “This is why you were so ... touchy a couple of weeks ago?”
“Yeah, why?”
Nope, not mentioning the pregnancy scare.
“Regan...” she prodded.
I shook my head and shrugged, trying for the standard non-committal response.
“What’d Bo tell you?”
Damn, she’s good.
“He said you had a pregnancy scare, and not to mention it to you.”
She threw her head back in full laughter. “That shit.”
“It worked, didn’t it? No one’s asked you about your mood.”
She yawned again. “God, I need to sleep. So, what did you want to talk to me about?”
It only took me a second to rethink the earlier decision I’d made to not mention Rae’s mail to Ember. She was under enough stress, and I couldn’t ask her to keep a secret from Bo. I wasn’t ready to tell him, because I didn’t know if I decided to read the letter if I’d want him to know what was in it.
“Nothing,” I lied effortlessly. “I just wanted to sneak a few minutes of alone time with you. Good thing I did, or else I wouldn’t have known what was going on with you. Talk to me, Ember. Any time, okay?”
I pulled into her driveway and put the car in park.
Ember leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I will. Promise. Don’t say anything to anyone about this.”
“You know I wouldn’t.”
“I know. See you the day after tomorrow. Hooray for a day off, huh?”
I agreed. The schedule had been taxing on all of us, it seemed.
I barely remember the drive back to my place, because I was so focused on just keeping my eyes opened. I needed sleep. Badly. Also, I needed some time to think about what to do about that letter.
When I pulled into the driveway at my place, it was a little after five in the morning, and I saw a light on in the bakery kitchen. The door was locked, of course, but I could see Georgia dancing along to music coming from her earbuds.
Her hair was tied up in the same bright red bandana that she’d worn the day we first met. She had on black yoga pants, an item I became familiar with during my time with people who actually practiced yoga, and a black and white plaid shirt, sleeves rolled to the elbows.
She looked happy. I couldn’t see her face, but the airy movements of her hands as she poured ingredients into the large stand mixer suggested peace over angst. And, since I was doused in personal torment, I decided to leave her alone. She didn’t use the bakery that much, for reasons that were still unclear, but what was clear was that it seemed to be a happy place for her. An escape. From what, I had no idea. Maybe from her dead parents? I knew her dad died recently, but had no idea what happened to her mom. The only time I tried to bring it up, her muscles froze before she told me she was just ... gone.
My eyes lingered on the slow motion of her hips for a few minutes more, until I felt my eyelids getting heavy. I wanted to knock on the door until she heard me, to wrap my arms around her body and, moreover, have her wrap hers around mine.
I needed to be hugged. Held. Told it was all going to be okay.
I needed to be loved again.