chapter Nine
Xav watched as the woman he loved went to the hidden gun closet, unlocked it and pulled out a 9 mm handgun. “What are you doing, angel?”
“Apparently I left some unfinished business in Texas. I’m going to go take care of it.”
“Whoa, hang on, sweetheart.” He went to her, took the gun away and put it back into the cabinet. He wanted to kiss away the frown suddenly creasing her face. “Killing a man in premeditated cold blood’s not going to do our children any good.”
“You tried to,” Ash said.
“That wasn’t premeditated. You were being kidnapped. Of course I wasn’t going to allow that. And anyway, that was then and this is now. You and I are going to have cool heads and think this through. We have four amazing children counting on us to do the right thing.”
“The right thing is killing Wolf.” She looked at him. “This is impossible! I know they were both dead, Wolf and Rhein. I know they were, Xav.”
“Rhein is dead,” Xav said quietly. “Which is no doubt going to make Wolf even more eager for revenge.”
“Well, tough crackers. I want revenge, too. Only one of us is going to get it.”
He had to convince her to focus more on mothering, and frankly, marrying him, than being a warrior. “Can you trust me to take care of this? And you take care of our children? One of us needs to be with them around the clock. Fiona and Burke aren’t really strong enough to withstand an attack, and I wouldn’t want them to have to. Let me and your brothers handle this, babe, and you keep the babies safe.”
“It’s not your fight.”
His sassy lady. “I love you madly, Ash.” He kissed her deeply, enjoying every second their lips touched. “But if I have to lock you in your room, I will.”
She shrugged. “Wouldn’t do a bit of good.”
He didn’t doubt that for a second. “Let’s put our heads together and come up with a plan of attack, if you insist on being part of the action.”
“You watch the children because you’d be a far better bodyguard, and I’ll go kill my uncle, which I should have done in the first place.”
He pulled his darling, revenge-thirsty wife into his arms. “You shouldn’t kill him, because your grandfather said not to, and Running Bear knows best.”
“This is true,” she murmured reluctantly.
“All right, then. We let fate take care of Wolf.”
“Fate has been stinking at her job lately.”
“Not altogether. She brought the two of us together at long last. Right?” He desperately wanted to make love to his wife, reassure her that everything was going to be just fine.
Unfortunately, at this point, he wasn’t sure that was a promise anyone would believe.
“Fate didn’t bring us together. What brought us together was the fact that I chased you for a good solid several years, and—”
“And I won you at last year’s Christmas ball auction,” Xav said.
Ash’s eyes went wide. “You’re the one who put up the winning bid? Everyone said I put up my own bid anonymously so I wouldn’t have to go out with anyone yucky. Blind dates are no fun, so apparently I bought my way out.”
He laughed. “It was so much fun hearing that tale. I encouraged it, you know.”
“Did you?”
“Yes. I didn’t want you to know it was me.”
She eyed him, her gaze softening, which he thought was a hopeful sign. “Why didn’t you ever collect?”
“Because the time wasn’t right. But I’m collecting now,” he said, kissing her, holding her tight.
She melted against him, which felt better than anything he’d ever been able to conjure in his dreams when they’d been apart those long many months. “You’re just trying to get my mind off of Wolf.”
“Yes, I am. Does no good to think about him. There’s nothing he can do to hurt us or our family.”
“What did Running Bear say?”
He kissed her forehead. “You know Running Bear. He isn’t exactly loose with information.”
“I can’t believe Wolf is still alive. I thought we were free,” Ash murmured. She looked up at him. “Next you’re going to tell me we have to go into witness protection. Or hiding.”
He stared down at the woman he loved more than anything. “Actually, I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I figured you and I would map out a game plan.”
“That’s very democratic of you. No demands, no carrying me over your shoulder caveman-style?”
“Not unless you want me to, in which case I could be easily talked into a caveman impersonation.”
“I don’t feel like it, I guess,” she said, sort of sagging against his chest, and Xav winced.
He stroked her long silvery ponytail. “It’s going to be all right, babe. I don’t know how. I just know it will be.”
* * *
WHEN SHE’D FIRST HEARD Wolf hadn’t been sent to Hell where he belonged, Ash’s first reaction was to go send him there herself.
Her second reaction was to shore up the defenses where the babies were concerned. She moved the babies from the outlying bunkhouse to the main house, where there were always people coming in and out. “We’re hiding in plain sight,” she told the babies. “There’s probably no place safer than being surrounded by family, this family.” Here at Rancho Diablo they would learn their heritage, too, which would make them strong. She could go to Xav’s family compound in Hell’s Colony for protection, where her children would be guarded by the Callahan cousins, but her family was here. Whatever happened, she wanted to be with them.
She wanted to be with Xav.
“We’re not afraid, anyway,” she murmured to Skye as she nursed her, then diapered her and put her gently back in the bassinet. “Life isn’t about fear. It’s about strength.”
Skye’s blue, blue gaze stared back at her. “I love you,” she murmured to her daughter. “I can see my soul, and Running Bear’s soul, when I look in your eyes. And I think you already possess the wisdom. You’re my special angel.” She touched Skye’s hand, and Skye curled her fingers around hers. Love burst inside Ash. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
She kissed her and picked up Thorn for his turn. If Skye was part of her soul, Thorn was her impatient baby. “You have your father’s desire for action,” she told Thorn, nursing him. “You want everything to happen now.”
Thorn’s navy eyes looked up at her as he nursed. She smiled, touched his face. “You’re going to break some hearts.”
Twenty minutes later, he was drowsy and ready for his bassinet. She went down to the kitchen and got some breast milk, hurried back up the stairs as she heard Valor give a wail that clearly denoted his anxiety that his meal wasn’t coming as fast as his siblings’. “I’m not leaving you out,” she whispered to Valor. “I’m just a little tired today, so be patient.” She kissed him and put the bottle in his mouth, and he slowly relaxed when he realized he wasn’t going to get left out of dinner.
She stroked his cheek, wondering why she was so tired, drawn. Usually she could nurse all the babies, but not this afternoon—and she realized the news that Wolf was alive had shocked her deeply.
She looked at her babies, wondered what the future held for them, wondered if her mother had thought the same thing, felt the same unease and wistful longing for a peaceful, spiritual home to raise her family.
It’s going to be different this time. Right here, right now, Wolf no longer affects this family.
“Hey,” Xav said, walking into the room. “Leave a forwarding address the next time you decide to move us, okay?”
“You said you could find me anywhere.”
“This is true,” he said, touching his son’s head, stroking the tiny tuft of hair. “But it would be nice not to have a heart attack when I walk into the bunkhouse and find it empty.”
“You managed.”
“Fiona pointed me in the right direction. She said you’d commandeered some of your brothers to move baby gear.” He glanced around. “So we’re living in the big house now.”
“We.” She gave him an arch look.
He leaned down to kiss her. “There’s no way I’m not sticking to you like glue after the drama with Wolf. But if you’re worried about your reputation or you’re a little squeamish on living with a man before marriage, I suggest you call the deacon and fix it.”
He kissed her again, just to let her know she couldn’t resist him, then picked up little Briar, who was waiting patiently for her meal. “I’ll feed this one,” he said. “You’re not last, sweetie. You were just waiting for Daddy, weren’t you?” he murmured to his daughter.
Ash watched, astonished, as Xav chose one of the bottles she’d prepared. He slung a towel over his shoulder, put the baby against his chest, and slipped the bottle in her mouth as if he’d done it a thousand times.
“That’s right,” he told his daughter. “Daddy’s little girl is glad to see him.”
Ash’s heart seemed to fall an inch inside her. “If I marry you, will you stop being Mr. Perfect? I’m feeling anything but Miss Perfect.”
“You were never perfect, darling,” Xav said, looking over at her. “What I like about you is how imperfect you are.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. Your flaws make you interesting.”
“My flaws?”
“Yeah. Like when you’re argumentative.”
“You mean when you’re trying to get your way, and I don’t go along with it immediately?”
“Like now,” he said, winking. “And like you not wanting to get married. It’s all very sexy.”
“Not getting married is for your own good.”
“I don’t believe in that ‘hunted one’ gobbledygook,” Xav said. “So if you’re trying to convince me that you’re saving me by not marrying me, saving me from a fate worse than death or whatever, I say don’t underestimate me, cupcake. I can take a little Callahan chaos.”
“It would serve you right if I did marry you.”
“Yes,” Xav said, undaunted. “I have my children to think of. It’s important to set good examples for the kiddies.”
“They’re a little young, don’t you think, to be worried about examples?”
“My parents were married.” He shrugged. “My old man was a tough ol’ son of a gun, as you know. Mom put up with his foibles and cranks, and she’s tough, too. They stayed together through thick and thin. Together.”
“I met her once,” Ash said, “when I went out to the compound.”
“Mom only served us vegetarian meals. She said it was to keep the old man healthy, and it was her way of keeping us all healthy. It didn’t work in the end for Pop because he was just too mean. He checked out of life early.” Xav got up, put Briar into her bassinet with a tender smile. “Now she’s off sailing the world with her new man. But the rest of us, we still know that our family made us what we are today. Kendall, Shaman, Gage and me, we’re a family because of those two characters.”
Ash smiled as he took Valor from her, put him into his bassinet, too. “So you and I are going to be characters whom our children look back on as being the hot steel that forge their characters?”
“We’re going to be a family,” he said, pulling her into his lap. “You have no argument, lady. Remember when you told me that because I’d killed Wolf, you’d brought the Callahan curse on me?”
“I do indeed remember,” she said, a little breathlessly as he kissed her neck.
“As much as I was thrilled that I’d taken him out of the picture, it turns out I didn’t. So I’m not cursed by anything Callahan, unless you consider me not killing him a curse, which I do. I only bring all this up so that you will know you have absolutely zero reason not to marry me, gorgeous.”
Maybe it wasn’t true—maybe she wasn’t the hunted one. Perhaps the curse was more of a challenge, something to be avoided by hunkering down and staying together as a family until Wolf and the cartel finally went away, once they realized this family couldn’t be broken. None of them, Callahan or Chacon Callahan.
“You’re probably right,” she said, because she wanted to believe it. “But Wolf is still here, and I suppose none of us are really safe.”
“I’m going out now,” Xav said. “You take a nap, get some rest for the twenty minutes these gentle spoiled angels of ours sleep. The next time I see you, I want you to be ready to discuss marriage. Because I know you were upstairs trying to sneak a peek at the magic wedding dress for a reason.” He smiled, brushed her lips with his, and left.
She waited. He popped his head back inside the room.
“Deal?” Xav asked.
Everything inside her wanted to say yes. It made sense what he said. Nothing had happened to him because of her, and none of them had killed Wolf after all, which meant that they’d kept to the law and letter of Running Bear’s command.
There was no reason not to say yes, especially with all the good arguments he gave. They were already parents, and they did need to set good examples for the children. They’d be stronger together.
She smiled. “Go away.”
“That’s my girl. Always sweet and delicate.”
He disappeared, and she could hear him whistling lightly, a content tune that made him sound like a man without a care in the world. She pushed away the worry and headed to grab a quick shower.
If she wasn’t the hunted one Running Bear had always spoken of, then who was?
* * *
“OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS all together,” Fiona said, delighted, as she decorated the tree. She’d had new ornaments painted for Valor, Skye, Briar and Thorn with their names and birth dates on them, and she placed them on the tree with glee. “Every last Callahan married,” she said with relish. “Married with children, better still.”
Ash situated the babies near the tree on a plush down pallet so they could lay together. She put a soft mobile over their heads, which caught their attention, even though they probably couldn’t make out very much of what they were seeing. Still, they seemed watchful.
“I’m not married,” she reminded her aunt.
“Yet,” Fiona said, unbothered. “But it’s only a matter of time. I heard Xav tell Running Bear that if he can drag you to the altar, he hopes your grandfather will agree to give you away. Every girl should have someone give her away—it’s tradition. And Xav is very traditional.” Fiona smiled with satisfaction. “I thought it was sweet of him to ask Running Bear to stand in as your father figure.”
A little dart of pain lodged inside Ash. She’d concentrated so much on not ever getting married that she’d never allowed herself to think about the sentiment; it was going to hurt that her father wasn’t here to give her away. Still, she wasn’t the world’s most traditional woman, and tradition shouldn’t matter so much, should it?
It mattered to her. Xav would one day proudly give away her daughters.
And Fiona was right: it was very princely of Xav to think of what would make their wedding special for her. “Blast,” Ash said, “I asked him to stop being such a Prince Charming.”
Fiona laughed. “Why?”
“Because it’s hard to live up to.”
“You’re in love.”
Fiona sounded sure, and Ash saw no reason to lie. “I have been for so long.”
“Then it’s time you quit worrying about the past and look to the future,” Fiona said, placing a huge, sparkly gold star atop the tree.
“Maybe you’re right.” Why should she let Wolf spoil their lives any more than he already had? Her spirit strengthened as she looked down at her children. “You’re right. What was I thinking?”
“That you were protecting your family. Of course you were.” Fiona nodded decisively. “But we’re not giving an inch more to the cartel than we have to.”
Ash turned. “I haven’t asked what’s been happening with the cartel and the land across the canyons.”
“Well, they cause their fair share of trouble. I thought I was doing the right thing by having Galen buy that land apart from the ownership of Rancho Diablo. I wanted all of you to work for it, get married, have families to win it. Back then, the lure seemed like a win/win scenario that would benefit all of you. It was all I wanted,” Fiona said, sighing. “The thing is, that land’s so torn up with tunnels running under it that even the feds are pretty lost as to how to stop it. All we have over there now is law enforcement scratching their heads. Wolf and his mercenaries are pretty dug in.”
“Why did you send Xav to bring me home?”
“Because it’s Christmas!” Fiona looked astonished. “I missed you.”
“Fiona, you knew,” Ash said suddenly, realizing that the delicate painted china ornaments for the babies would have taken weeks to make. “You talked to Mallory, didn’t you?”
Fiona looked a bit sheepish. “She might have called here once or twice. On disposable, untraceable phones.”
“I was never really alone, was I?” Ash asked, and the memory of the moments of despair she’d felt were washed away by her family’s love. “It was my journey, wasn’t it? I just didn’t recognize it.”
“We all have a journey,” Fiona said. “We support each other, we love each other when our journey comes to us. Mine was to come here,” she said softly, her gaze turning toward the snow-laden landscape outside. “Sometimes I miss the green of Ireland, the hills, the beauty. But there was a battle there, too, that my parents fought. So I knew that life wasn’t always easy. I came here when I was called, and Burke came with me. He never once said he didn’t want to walk this path with me. He’s the light of my life,” she said, her smile soft, her aura serene and untroubled. “He understood the price we pay for freedom. No one lives without paying something for their decisions.”
She turned to Ash. “You were never alone. Your children will never be alone. We will always be strong, no matter what comes.”
“We haven’t won yet,” Ash said. “And sometimes I think it may be impossible.”
“Do you?” Fiona asked. “Do you really think that when you look at your children?”
No. She didn’t think the war was lost at all when she looked at Thorn, Skye, Valor, Briar. She’d never dreamed she’d have children. And then one day, they were suddenly a miraculous part of her life.
She couldn’t imagine ever living without them. They blessed her in so many ways, changed her for the better.
“I love you, Aunt Fiona. Thank you for coming here. I know you miss your homeland, your friends, your way of life. Everything here is so very different from Ireland.”
“The sacrifice is always worth it. In Ireland I didn’t have children. Here I have more children than I could have ever imagined. Life is short, and what matters more than family and good friends?”
Ash stared at Fiona, seeing her aunt’s strength in a new way. Fiona had always been strong, but Ash had never really thought of her in terms of being a fighter. Now she realized just how much of a warrior Fiona was in her own soft, gentle way.
“You’ve carried the torch for our family.”
“Actually, you allowed me to have exactly what I really wanted. The land never changes, not really. Mountains shift ever so slightly over time, but here is stability. Nothing can change that, not even Wolf’s evil. And the land that I wanted you and your brothers to compete for was yours always.” Fiona shrugged. “It was actually time more than land I was trying to give you. While you were here fighting for the truth, I didn’t want your lives to slip away,” she said with satisfaction. “Maybe I told a few fairy tales along the way to get you to go the right way, but I believe in happy endings.”
Ash blinked. “You knew this would be a long journey, so you set up a competition so we’d all focus on the prize of the land, instead of just our assignment?”
“You were twenty-five when you came here. Now you’re thirty, almost more. How many more years will be needed to be victorious I can’t say. You could be thirty-five, your brothers older. I wouldn’t take the gift of time from you, and that was all I had to give.”
Ash thought about her beautiful children. “Thank you, Fiona, for being wiser than all of us.”
She hugged her. “As I said, I got the ultimate prize. I got you. All the family I’ve been given is more to me than land or money. And one day, I know we will all be together. That thought keeps me going on this journey. My advice? Marry Xav sooner than later, and start a new journey with your family.”
She flitted out of the den, leaving Ash beside her children. Their gazes were no longer on the pretty mobile, but on the beautiful Christmas tree and the lovely twinkling lights Fiona had turned on. At the top of the tree, the star glittered, its beauty a beacon to the holidays.
“I was never alone,” she told her children, “and now I know you babies never will be alone, either. Not for one step of the journeys each of you will take.”
And somehow that thought gave her the courage she’d been missing for some time. She missed her parents, and she knew her brothers did, too. Somewhere in the mists of her mind were shadowy memories she could barely recall, of softness and joy, and the comfort of loving embraces. She hadn’t been old enough to know them well when they’d had to leave. Maybe the memories she had were really mist and not real, just recollections of the fragmented pieces her brothers shared of their own memories. She wasn’t sure. But somewhere back in the pieces of happy times she’d held so carefully, she knew she’d been loved, always had been.
“You’ll always be loved,” she told the babies suddenly. “No one can ever take that away from you. Even if I’m no longer here, you’ll hold my spirit inside you.”
And that was her only gift to her children right now, all that she had to give. She was a warrior, she was called to serve, and though she hadn’t realized it until now, so were her unexpected and precious babies.
Fiona was right.
Everyone had their journey. The strong faced theirs and walked through the fire regardless of the sacrifices.
She no longer feared that journey. Her children had her gifts, as well as Xav’s commitment and strength. Whether she’d ever known it or not, she and Xav were two halves of the same person.
And she loved him even more for it.
She remembered her reluctance to try on the magic wedding dress. What was holding her back?
Even if her sisters-in-law swore that wonderful things happened because of the gown, Ash now knew those stories were tales of fancy from the lips of women who’d been head over heels in love. She smiled, thinking it had been silly to be afraid of marrying Xav. Why had she been so fearful?
The darkness inside her made her feel afraid. But Xav wasn’t afraid of her darkness—he said he was a tough guy and a fearless badass. He laughed away her fears.
Maybe she’d just go catch her a badass husband, then. It was time to put her fears away and experience the magic for herself.