“Thank you for making my point.”
My mouth dropped open, but I couldn’t seem to find any kind of actual word to go with the action. Damn if I couldn’t argue with her logic. When she cried and wanted me to hold her, there was nothing in the world I wanted to do more, not because I wanted it or needed it, but because she did. I wanted to be there for her, and anything I could do to make her feel better would be done. If she had explained that cutting off my left nut would help her heal, I’d do it in a fucking heartbeat and with a smile on my face. Is that what it was like for her? Did she want to let me do that, just so I would feel better – fuck her on the ground without even thinking about her needs? She couldn’t want that. No one would want that after what had just happened. I had pushed her down on the ground and practically forced myself on her…
And she wrapped her arms and legs around me, just like I needed her to.
I reached up with my hand, wrapped my fingers in the hair at the back of her neck, and pulled her lips to mine. I kissed her slowly, trying to make up for what I had done even if she had been all right with it. Stroking her lips softly with mine once more, I brought her down to rest her head on my chest, making sure she fell asleep first before I allowed myself to drift off.
I guess there was more to this love shit after all.
Chapter 14 - Sick
My eyes opened, and the first thing I really noticed in the darkness was my head pounding. I was on my side under the palm-frond canopy roof. Raine’s back was against my chest, and my arm was wrapped around her middle, holding her tight against my body. She wasn’t shaking anymore. I must have fallen asleep. Aside from my head, my leg was throbbing as well. It felt hot, too. Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. I closed my eyes and everything went dark again.
I walk over the low hill near the shelter, my hands full of roots and leaves. I'm thinking about how to best cook the food when I look out towards the beach. I see them immediately, and I know they have her. She's on her back in the sand, and Ponytail is holding her hands above her head. Dreadlocks is on top of her, and the others stand behind him, waiting their turn.
I start running, but no matter how fast my legs move, I'm not getting any closer. I can see her face clearly, her tears glistening in the afternoon sun. She's screaming, but I hear nothing. Dreadlocks climbs off her, and Buzz-cut moves into place. Somehow I trip over the roots I had been holding and sprawl into the sand, my leg screaming in pain.
My chest was so fucking tight from trying not to scream, I couldn't breathe. I felt Raine lying on her stomach beside me, my arm wrapped securely around her back, and her head lying right next to mine on the palm fronds. I pushed back away from her as quickly as I could without disturbing her sleep. I rolled over to my left side and tried to push myself up on my feet, but my right leg gave out and I slid awkwardly to the ground.
I nearly choked trying not to yell. Holy shit, my leg hurt, but I couldn't think about that just yet – there was something quite a bit more pressing I needed to do first. Forcing myself onto my hands and knees, I crawled as quickly as I could with my leg dragging on the ground behind me, barely making it to the edge of the jungle outside the shelter before the contents of my stomach spewed out on the ground. I tried to expel the images crashing through my head at the same time, but they wouldn't leave. I kept seeing them all holding her down and the look on her face as her eyes met mine.
I vomited again, and my leg gave out again, leaving me lying on my side in the scratchy sand. I could feel beads of sweat dropping from my back and the rapid beating of my heart. I shook my head violently and tried to right myself but couldn't. My eyes reached out to the smoldering coals in the beach and the nondescript, shadowy pile on top of it. I thought I could make out the shape of a skull, but I couldn't be sure. I wanted to smash it.
If I had been any later...