“She put a hold on everything after your accident. The investigator wanted to be paid whether she wanted what he had or not. She just received the package a few days ago.”
My eyebrows went up with the heavy sigh. “Well, that explains why she canceled our lunch, and why she’s been avoiding me. I don’t know what to say, Paxton. Do you think she has proof?”
“I’m guessing so, but you know what?”
“What?”
“I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to know, and I don’t want you remember. It’s going to change things. I won’t want you, Gabriella.”
“This might stun you a little, but I’m okay with that. I’m sure these last few weeks have only been the tip of what I have endured from you. If you want to know, go look. But if I did do that, you think about one thing. Why did I do it?”
“I’ve thought about it every day since I saw you with him.”
The shock on my face matched the surprising words from my mouth. “You saw us together? Where?”
I tried to stand up straight but Paxton wouldn’t let me. He wrapped his arms tighter around me and kissed my shoulder again.
“Down by the rocks.”
“What did you see?”
“He had his arms around you and you had your face buried in his chest. I think you were crying.”
Well, that’s not what I thought would come out of his mouth. “Maybe it was something else then. Maybe we weren’t having an affair.”
“Women don’t let men hold them like that without feeling involved. You’ve never let me hold you like that. You’ve never cried on my shoulder the way you did Lane’s.”
I did pull away that time. “Are you for real. You hate me. You won’t let me get close to you.”
“I’ve never hated you. Dam it, Gabriella. We had an agreement. This was never supposed to be this. Whatever this is between us. I never wanted to hold you, and wipe away your tears. That’s not how it was supposed to be.”
I didn’t speak a word. All I did was stand there. Bewildered. Paxton sidestepped me and ran his fingers through his hair.
“It’s this fucking accident. You were with him for three fucking hours before you wrecked. Weren’t you Gabriella? Did you fuck him that day? Was that what had your attention in the middle of a goddamn hurricane?”
This was the part I hated most. No matter what I said, Paxton wouldn’t understand. Nobody could understand. I was being accused of things, horrible things that I didn’t remember. But, I didn’t know where the blame should be pointed. I felt bad, but I didn’t know what for. For coming between Candace and Lane? For cheating on Paxton? For losing my memory. I didn’t know what I was supposed to fill bad for, and there was no way to explain that to Paxton. He couldn’t understand it. I didn’t understand it. Not even a little.
Paxton ran both hands through his hair again, pulled with two fists, and groaned. His hands dropped to his waist and his words softened.
“I thought we were invincible. I thought we had a good thing going. Something nobody could touch. Something most men only dream about. I fucking had it, Gabriella, and you fucked it up.”
“You’re not talking about Lane anymore, are you?” I asked while taking one cautious step toward him.
“Not even a little.” His voice changed to a defeated tone and a heavy sigh. I took another step. “It’s this, Gabriella. You don’t come to me. I come to you.”
Another step and quiet words.
“I want to come to you, Pax. I don’t know what I did with Lane, but I know I don’t want to be in his arms. I want you.”
“But you didn’t before. Why now?”
“I don’t know. I know you’re tired of hearing that, but I don’t. I can’t answer that, and I’m not sure I ever will.”
Paxton’s lips crushed hard into mine. A fervent kiss full of emotion. My robe went to the concrete and my ass went to the cold wall. He slid into me with ease and I felt every inch. We kissed with deep emotion, passion rising like the tide. I barely noticed when he leaned me backward, pressing his lips to my chest. I trusted him. I may not have at one time, but right there in that moment, I did. I trusted him with my life. He wouldn’t let me fall.
I swore the night before after the fourth or fifth orgasm that I never wanted another one. I did. I wanted it more than anything, and I wanted to experience it with him.
There was something there. Something neither of us could deny. If Paxton didn’t feel what I felt when we touched, when we kissed, and when we made love, there was something seriously wrong with him. It was there. He had to feel it, too.
Angry words were spoken while he pumped, in and out of me. “Fuck, Gabriella. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I didn’t want this. This is so fucked up. I didn’t want this.”