“Have fun,” I called back.
Paxton had to take my hand before I knew enough to stand. “Make something good and I might think about taking you later.”
“I’m fine here. I don’t need to go.”
“I’ll decide that. Now be a good girl and go take care of your family,” he ordered with a kiss. I turned my head out of spite, but he turned it back. “You don’t want to do this, Gabriella. I promise you. You don’t.”
“Because why, Pax? Because you’re going to send me to the bathroom?”
His eyes darted to the girls first and then back to me. I grimaced in pain when he grabbed my jaw and squeezed. “Back down, girl. Back down now. You got it?” he asked through gritted teeth.
I couldn’t speak. All I could do was nod. Paxton let go and shoved my face, forcing me to step backward two steps.
“Get the fuck away from me before I hurt you.”
I did. I cowered away like a turkey on Thanksgiving Day. Gah! Why did I keep doing that? I did get it. I did understand what he said. I just had a hard time abiding by his ways. My mouth kept getting in the way. Paxton stood in a firm stance with a glare until I was inside. I turned to close the door, catching his cold glare, and moved my eyes to the floor. He walked away.
“Dickhead!” I yelled through the glass, to his back.
I sighed while I watched my family walk away without me. “Bastard. Dick. Fuckface. Jerk-off,” I said aloud to no one but me.
After securing the boot back to my foot, I went to the kitchen in search of something to cook. There was plenty of food. That wasn’t the problem. I just didn’t know how or what to cook. I found one cookbook, but it wasn’t really food. It was mixed drinks. Hmmm, that sounds more like it. I could make some sort of exotic drink for the adults and something else for the kids. But what?
“Oh, the tablet,” I said when I remembered Paxton’s comment. Now if I could just find it. I didn’t remember seeing it anywhere. After searching the front rooms, high and low, I moved to my room. Where the hell would I keep a tablet? I scratched my head while I stood in place and looked around.
The nightstand on the right held a kids’ book, a bottle of nasal spray, a notebook, and a pen. I picked up the yellow notebook and looked around the room with an eerie feeling. I always felt like I was snooping in someone else things when I opened drawers. Like it wasn’t really my stuff to be meddling through, or like I was being watched. Nonetheless, I opened it.
“Wow,” I said through a sigh. This was my life. Expectations. That’s it. I had half a notebook full of to do’s. Extracurricular activities for both girls, what day I went to the grocery store, things to do for Paxton. Like new shirts. I was supposed to go shopping for him two days after my accident. I did everything by time and schedules. Somehow that didn’t feel right. I felt more like the type to move forward without clocks or calendars. Not this. Wow. I closed it and searched the other nightstand for the tablet. I’d come back to that mess another time.
The drawer to my left housed the white tablet. The one I presumed I’d used to make loving meals for my family with. Blah!
I spent at least twenty minutes learning about me from my tablet. I liked to read. I had countless books on there, most of them already read. Hmmm. Who would have thought? I didn’t feel like a reader. Evidently, I was a writer, too. Poetry. I liked poetry? Really? File after file of poetry filled the different folders. All marked by subject. I opened the first three, skimming through them until I stopped.
Rise free from care before the dawn and seek adventures. Let the noon find thee at other lakes and the night overtake thee everywhere at home.
That wasn’t my poem. I didn’t right that, but I had heard it from somewhere. I just couldn’t place where. My eyes darted around the room with the feeling of being watched again. I shook my head with a heavy sigh at my silliness and turned back to the tablet. I didn’t have much time. I would have to find out who really wrote it later. When I had more time to snoop.
“Grrr, it’s not snooping,” I said out loud in an agitated voice. The tenth file was the one that caught my eye. Half way down the page.
My Clyde.
My finger hovered above the file while my mind debated on going there. I quickly tapped it with my finger, afraid of chickening out, but I did it.
My heart moved a million beats a minute when I read the first line.
I can see it in her eyes,
A love like no other.
I can feel it in her presence,
A graceful bond forever.
She’s my twin,
My Clyde,
My other half.