I flipped off the light and pondered my sudden realization. That was real. That premonition had been real, but not clear. I knew that I had been taught not to ever feel bad, to focus on something else. Something happy. However, I couldn’t have been taught how to do that without a memory. My earliest memory consisted of a handful of nurses, most of them nameless. I hadn’t seen them enough to remember or cared enough to try learning their names. I hadn’t even been able to remember my own name in the hospital, for Christ’s sake.
My confusion continued when I opened the long chest of drawers. Everything was mine, nothing was his. Feminine bras with matching thongs were folded neatly in every color possible. Not much black. I felt like I gravitated more toward black. Wait? I did? Paxton was the void in the room. No male items existed here. Not one. Did we have separate rooms? Given the fact that Paxton was a pervert. That surprised me. Wow. We didn’t share a room, and that excited me. I had to admit that had been one of the fears on my mind when I’d had no other choice but to leave with him. I didn’t want to sleep in the same bed with him, but it was still weird. Not that the whole mess wasn’t weird or anything. I shrugged it off with a heavy sigh and tried to open the armoire doors. The double doors and all four drawers were locked.
“I have the key. I don’t think you’re ready for that just yet. Maybe later.”
My head snapped toward the door, toward Paxton. My husband. He leaned against the threshold, arms folded and ankles crossed. Basketball shorts covered long legs and he was in bare feet. The five o’clock shadow was gone, replaced with a clean shave and a nod. It had to be the looks. He definitely had that going for him.
“What’s in it?”
“You’ll see. They’re waiting. I can’t hold them off any longer.”
“Oh, okay,” I said in a high-pitched tone, suddenly even more anxious. I leaned on my crutches and prayed I didn’t screw it up, that I could fake this mom business without them noticing A long breath of air filled my lungs and I wondered whether or not I should pretend to remember them.
Paxton uncrossed his arms and waved them in.
My lips turned up before I ever saw them, and a fake smile was planted. As soon as I saw them it was gone, replaced with confusion. The younger one looked like a mini me, soft black hair, straight as a board except at the ends. They curled up, just like mine. Her eyes were tinted in the same smoky gray as mine. She had natural dark skin, and her legs were long, just like me. The height difference between the girls appeared miniscule. Not even an inch difference and I sensed without confirmation that the taller one was the youngest. She belonged to Paxton and me. I could see mostly me in Ophelia, but she did have his features, too. Rowan did not. She belonged to me, yet I wasn’t sure who else.
Confused, I shifted my gaze to meet with Paxton’s cold stare, then back to the girls. Rowan was just a tad shorter with long, honey-butter hair. Bright, blue eyes and pale skin. Her eyes were the color of the ocean, teal blue with a touch of pearl. They stared up at me with a tinge of insecurity, causing me to suppress a choke. I did belong here. I was consciously aware of a bond, I belonged with them. No matter where it was, I belonged with them. My Clydes.
Wait. What? Clydes?
“Come here,” I whispered with the sweetest voice I could muster. They both scurried to me with instant grins and hugged me, squeezing between my crutches, wrapping their arms around my legs. I was indisputably in love.
“Daddy said you wouldn’t benember who we were. He said the African made you forget,” my little blondie tattled and my heart fluttered. The sweetest angelic sound I had ever heard floated through her lips.
Even Paxton’s laugh was real. Not the fake one I had already became accustomed to.
“Accident. The accident caused her to forget. Not African,” he clarified.
“That’s what I said.”
“I could never forget you. I have a hard time remembering some things though, so you’ll have to help me out, okay?” I asked with fingers gliding through her soft hair.
“And me, too, right, Mommy? You know me, too.”
The impulse to drop to one knee and hug them both disappeared as soon as I thought about it. I would never get up, not without a bottle of strong narcotics, anyway. I lifted her chin with a finger instead.
“Of course I remember you, Phi.”
Ophelia giggled and gave me a wide, toothy grin while the amused expression on Paxton’s face changed. He went from showing his own white teeth, to pissed off, just like that. What the hell, dude?
“We helped daddy cook your favorite supper,” Rowan exclaimed, excited about her involvement in the meal preparation. My heart filled to the brim with love when they each placed their little hands around my wrists and led me to the table. They were more in the way than anything. I could barely maneuver my crutches, but I didn’t tell them that. They took great pride in helping me.