Chapter Twelve
“Are you ready?”
Annalina and my mother blindfolded me the morning of my wedding, insisting our destination needed to remain a complete surprise. I happily played along.
At my nod, my daughter removed the blindfold and an automatic gasp escaped as tears filled my eyes.
Because we stood in the same orchard my mother and father had married in. Glancing around, I caught a glimpse of the reception area all set up to go, and the location of where we’ll say our vows covered by an arch.
“It’s amazing.” I grabbed my daughter and pulled her in for a hug. “I had no idea what you were planning!”
Annalina rolled her eyes. “Duh, mom, that was the point.”
I released my daughter with a laugh and although I wanted to hug my mother, she turned to face the house, waving her hand in the air as she said, “Time to get dressed. Don’t want to keep everyone waiting when they arrive.”
They shuffled me inside the house and up the steps into a room, my dress hanging near a mirror and a strange woman standing beside it. She beamed when she saw me and rushed forward, hand out.
“Miss McPherson, I’m Pippa.” The woman nearly bubbled with excitement as she shook my hand then released it. “I’ll be doing your hair and makeup today.”
“My hair?” I toyed with the object of our conversation and frowned. “I don’t really want to mess with it too much, Bradley likes it down.”
I swore she didn’t miss a beat. If she did, her face didn’t give it away as she nodded. “Absolutely. We’ll just make sure it’s nice and neat and doesn’t fly around too much while you wear your veil, how about that? And what about the makeup, did you have anything in mind?”
She dragged me forward and sat me in a chair facing the mirror, immediately fussing with my hair, moving it this way and that as she tried to find a style we could both live with.
Preparations sped by in a whirlwind of activity and soon, I stood in front of the mirror in my dress and veil, Annalina and my mother both staring at me with misty eyes as Pippa exited the room.
I’d chosen an ivory renaissance style gown, with a scoop neck, long and sheer bell sleeves that slit at the elbows, and a minimal train. The veil matched the tiny flowers along the neckline and bust-line; I’d let Pippa put up enough of my hair to wear the veil while still having most of it down and it fell to around my shoulders.
“You’re beautiful, mom.” She put her arm around me and beamed into the mirror. “The most beautiful bride ever.”
“Thank you sweetie,” I said with a laugh. “But you’re definitely bias.”
“I bet he will say the same thing.”
“He better,” my mother added, then smiled at Annalina. “Go let everyone know we’re about ready.”
She left the room, leaving me alone with my mother, who walked around the room and cleaned up.
“You know,” she began in a steady voice, “this reminds me of my own wedding day with your father. Before that day, we hadn’t seen each other in a week, so he snuck in here before I put on my dress. He was always doing things like that. He cared nothing for the rules or the way things were done. He always did what he wanted — just like you do.”
I opened my mouth to comment, but she held up a hand as her eyes came back to mine and she stepped up next to me. “You think I’m hard on you, but truth is, when you got pregnant, I was angry. And I stayed angry. I wanted so much more for my daughter than to be a teenage mother, to work her butt off for nothin’ in a fast food joint because she couldn’t even finish school. I was disappointed, not only in you, but in myself as well. I did my best after your father died, but it wasn’t enough; it was never enough.”
She put her arm around my shoulder, her eyes shiny with unshed tears. “I was so caught up in my own pain, in my own expectations, that I failed to notice how much you thought I didn’t love you. Until that day you came home and slammed your hand down on the table with this ring,” she lifted my hand with her free one and entwined our fingers, “I had no idea how much I hurt you with the things I said. But you stepped up all the time, helping me out even when I didn’t deserve it, and I’m sorry for making you feel like nothin’ you ever did was good enough. ‘Cuz I do love you. You’re my daughter — my one and only girl — and even if I knew what was going on these past few years, and I didn’t approve, you were only following your heart. And I want nothin’ else than for it to work out for you and Annalina; you both deserve a good man in your lives.”
I had to hold back tears at her words, but when I finally managed to do so and speak, I did. “Thank you. I love you, too.” I looped my arm around her in reciprocation, then smiled at her in the mirror. “I love him. Marrying him is what I want, and I don’t take it lightly. I remember you and dad together a little, and I want what you had.”
“I wish he were here to see you and walk you down that aisle.”
“Aw, mom.” I turned until I faced her then hugged her. “He is here, in the form of the five children you had with him. And he would be proud of you for raising productive, if slightly dysfunctional, members of society.”
She returned my hug and laughed. “All right you. Let’s not mess up things when it’s so close to time. And speaking of…girls!”
My mother and I separated as the door opened and in walked my three best friends in light blue bridesmaid dresses.
“Oh my god!” They gave me a hug one by one, then stood around me grinning like fools. “You guys, I had no idea! Who else is here?”
“You’ll have to see for yourself,” Jackie said. “You’ll get to meet Brett though, he’s my date. That’s a total sign he’s the right one isn’t it? Since he came to a wedding with me?”
Maggie and Angel laughed after my mother chuckled, and Jackie blushed even as she rolled her eyes. “I’m just kidding. Anyway, it’s time to go!”
The girls walked ahead and my mother looped her arm through mine as we left the room.
“What made you change your mind?” I asked her softly as we headed down the steps. “You weren’t happy even when you were helping him with the wedding.”
“I did it for you because you only get a first wedding once. And when you saw him standing in the doorway the other day, your face said it all. You love him, and long as he treats you right, that’s all I care about.” As we reached the doorway and she released me so I could stand next to Cody, she whispered in my ear, “And I can tell he will. He did all this for you, which only shows how much he loves you.”
I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as she walked away, wondering if she were right, and if Bradley were simply in denial about his feelings.
But I didn’t have long to ponder on it as moments later, my wedding to the love of my life began.
~*~
My oldest brother, Cody, was the one who would walk me down the aisle.
We stood at the entrance behind the bridesmaids, who had apparently been paired up with my other three brothers who were the groomsmen. The flower girls and ring bearers were my nieces and nephews — Cody, who was four years older than me, and his wife Helena had twin boys, while Nate, two years my senior, had two girls aged three and five with his wife Malinda. My two younger brothers, Gregory and Daniel, were single.
I noticed that Jackie had been paired up with Nate, while Angel and Maggie — both single — had been paired up with my younger brothers, which amused me. I gathered my mother was trying to play matchmaker and knew my friends and I would have a laugh about it later since it wasn’t the first time my mother had suggested they should date each other.
As the procession began, I hooked my arm through Cody’s and he frowned down at me. “Why is it I had to meet the man who is marrying my sister on the day of the wedding? How can I possibly know if he’s good for you or not?”
Rolling my eyes, I watched the line and knew it was a mere matter of seconds before we began walking, and said, “Because he’s a busy man who surprised even me with this. But, knowing you and the fact you were informed weeks ago about this by mother, I’m sure you’ve researched him to bits.”
I felt his eyes on me, but I didn’t give him the satisfaction of meeting his gaze.
A second passed, then two, before he sighed. “Yeah, I did. He’s an upstanding guy, and I have to say sister, you’ve grown into an amazing woman. I worried about you for a while. I know as your brother it might not mean much, but he better know how lucky he is to have you; if not, I might have to kick his ass.”
Laughing, I gave him a quick hug. “Yes, thank you, that means a lot. And I’m pretty sure Helena wouldn’t be happy with you ‘kicking anyone’s ass,’ but I appreciate the sentiment. I won’t need it.”
“Of course not because I’m sure you know him better than any of us.” He paused, then leaned in close to ask, “Are you sure you’re okay with taking mom with you? I’m sure we could find somewhere she could stay here.”
“Don’t be dense,” I teased, grinning at him as I kept my voice low. “We both know mom wouldn’t live with anyone else. She adores me as I’m her favorite.”
“Hush.”
“We both know it’s true.”
He scoffed, but before he could respond, the wedding march started. “Ready, sis?”
“Absolutely.”
First thing I noticed as we approached the ceremony area is that everyone was standing. I didn’t have to move my head to see who was there, and while I expected to see my family and friends, I didn’t expect to see Roger, Amanda, and their children. However, it made me happy to know Bradley had someone here for him today, and I looked forward to speaking with them later.
Then, I focused on my soon-to-be husband, who stood in front of the arch, watching me approach.
A camera flashed as my brother and I reached Bradley, and I didn’t think anything of it.
That is, until I put my hand in his and it flashed again. With a quick look, I discovered someone I didn’t know standing awful close to the front and realized it was a photographer.
"You hired a photographer?" I whispered to Bradley, surprised to see he let someone 'invade' his personal life in such a way.
"Well, you need pictures to commemorate this beautiful day and that gorgeous dress, don't you?" When I nodded, he smiled at me and put his mouth close to my ear to murmur back, "I need a good one to put on my desk at work to combat the rumors that I’m gay.”
The camera flashed again as I laughed and he pulled back with a chuckle so we could start the ceremony.
And, not long after, when we were pronounced husband and wife, Bradley stepped real close and lifted my veil. The look in his eyes had me wishing we were alone, and in the moment before our lips met, it felt as if we were. He invaded my whole vision, bringing my body against his and keeping me in place with one arm about my waist, the other coming up to rest against the nape of my neck.
I didn’t know where to touch, which he must’ve figured out because just before our lips met, he said, “Put your arms around my neck. Let’s get a kissing shot to remember.”
So I did, my entire focus on him.
If people clapped and cheered, or cameras flashed, I was oblivious.
All I felt, all I knew, and all I desired was Bradley.
And right when I thought he would pull back, his arm around my waist tightened for a split second, causing me to wonder if my mother were right about his feelings.
But then I convinced myself it was just me imagining what I wanted instead of accepting reality, so I dragged my mouth away first.
People rushed upon us as we separated and I was grateful because I didn’t want to meet his gaze.
I was afraid of what he’d see in mine — and of what I wouldn’t see in his.