Chapter Thirty-Five
“You can’t fool me,” Jacqueline said as she joined Judith at the rail. “Didn’t touch your food last night or this morning. Haven’t even remarked on the land you’re staring at. You’re still heartbroken, aren’t you?”
Am I? Judith wondered. Is that what I’m feeling? She was still somewhat in shock and utterly disillusioned, and she’d cried herself to sleep last night. Her eyes were quite red from it. But then not even a full day had passed since Nathan had been apprehended as a jewel thief.
“I’m not saying I am, but will it ever go away?” Judith replied.
“Course it will.”
“How do you know? You’ve never felt heartbroken.”
“Because it stands to reason, don’t it? Half the world would be in tears if it doesn’t.”
“I highly doubt half the world—”
“A quarter then, but if you want specifics, didn’t your sister fancy herself in love with young Lord Gilbert last winter? She certainly cried for several hours over him. And not two days later she was happy as a lark singing the praises of Lord Thomas instead.”
“Jaime was barely sixteen. She’s allowed to float in and out of love until she figures out what it really is—which she hasn’t done yet. She’s too young—”
“So have you figured it out?”
“I just feel so betrayed. He led me to believe we were friends, then he robbed me, us, all of us.”
“Friends and lovers?”
“Jack!”
But while Judith’s cheeks had turned pink with a blush, Jacqueline was rarely embarrassed by any subject and wasn’t dropping this one. “You wouldn’t make love without telling me about it, would you? I don’t think I could forgive you for keeping that a secret from me.”
“I—wouldn’t.”
It wasn’t a lie, it wasn’t! She’d tell Jack eventually. She just couldn’t bear to yet when the mere thought of just how close she’d gotten to Nathan made this pain even worse. It was clouding her mind and squeezing at her heart.
So she was completely broadsided when Jack said, “But you didn’t tell me he was our ghost.”
Judith actually groaned. Jack wasn’t going to forgive her, ever, for the secrets she’d kept from her.
“You guessed?”
“Not a’tall,” Jack replied in a tone that sounded hurt. “The hair so blond it looks white didn’t give it away. Others have hair that color. But after you excused yourself from dinner last night, I heard my mother whisper to my father that at least he’s not Derek’s neighbor after all, and wasn’t that the worst crime, his impersonating gentry? So I asked what she meant by that and she explained. Suddenly your immediate fascination with Nathan Tremayne made sense.”
“He asked me to keep that secret and now I know why, because it was just another lie. He doesn’t own that house. He was just hiding smuggled goods there. I told you about my suspicions when we were visiting Derek and his family.”
“So he’s the smuggler you saw the night before we left Hampshire?”
“I didn’t actually see him that night. But when I saw him on the ship and recognized him as our ex-ghost, something he said made me realize he was the man who had been at the ruined house behaving so suspiciously. I accused him of being a smuggler. He denied it, of course, and promised a full explanation if I’d hold off saying anything about it.”
“It’s not exactly a high crime,” Jack pointed out. “Some people even consider smugglers folk heroes, you know. I mean, how would you feel if you couldn’t afford a cup of tea anymore when you’ve been drinking it all your life?”
“I know. And that’s the only reason I held my tongue.”
Jack snorted. “I suppose how handsome he is had nothing to do with it. Or that you’ve fancied yourself in love with his ghost all these years?”
“Only his handsomeness—maybe.”
“There’s no maybe about that. He was fascinating to you back then and still is. Of course you could lay claim that he compromised you whether he did or not—if you want him for a husband. That might be the only way to keep him out of prison—if you want him for a husband.”
“You’re repeating yourself.”
“Some things bear repeating. Prison can ruin a man. The time to save him would be now.”
Already suffering from heartache and now overwhelmed by guilt, Judith suddenly burst out, “We did make love.”
“I know.”
Judith gasped. “No, you didn’t!”
“I bloody well did,” Jack retorted. “Think I didn’t notice that silly grin you couldn’t keep off your lips yesterday morning? Think I haven’t seen that countless times on the women in our family? Even my mother, for Pete’s sake, gets that look after she and my father—”
“I get the point.”
“I’ll wait until you get over your heartbreak to insist that you share every detail, but not a minute longer. I can’t believe you kept any of this from me. Me!”
Judith winced. “I know. He tricked me into keeping silent. I was trying to get at the truth, and agreeing to his terms seemed to be the only way I could. But I realize now all I did was give him time to make up an elaborate tale I would believe.”
“One you wanted to believe, you mean.”
“Well, yes. And time to convince me he could be trusted. That’s the worst of it. I can’t believe I trusted him!”
“Good God, don’t cry again! Forget I said a word. We’re not saving that blighter. Prison’s too good for him!”
Jacqueline said no more, just put her arm around Judith’s waist and squeezed. The wind quickly dried her tears. She continued to gaze at the coastline, which she figured was in one of the states north of Connecticut. She didn’t care. She’d lost interest in this trip, lost her appetite, too, as Jack had pointed out. All she could focus on was the abysmal pain that was overwhelming her.
She had thought about confronting Nathan. This morning she’d even gone down to the corridor that led to the improvised brig. She didn’t go any farther than that because she had started crying again. It was too soon to talk to him without screaming or crying, and what could he say to her to explain why he’d stolen from her? She wouldn’t believe him anyway, could never believe him again, he’d lied to her about so much.
She couldn’t stop thinking of him, though. The image of Nathan and the kitten asleep together in her cabin, so adorable, so—innocent—was stuck in her mind. Of course, even murderers could love their pets. His affection for a kitten did not make him innocent of anything. But it had been so heartwarming, seeing him like that. It had made her draw conclusions she wished she could now forget.
Her uncle James had said it wasn’t plausible that Nathan was gentry and a thief. He should also have pointed out that Nathan’s being a smuggler and a thief wasn’t plausible either. Why would a thief smuggle when smuggling wasn’t nearly as profitable as stealing? He couldn’t be both. But he certainly wasn’t adept at thievery when he’d carelessly left evidence behind. Was this his first attempt at it? Or had he been coerced into it, his nieces threatened . . .
She groaned to herself, aware that she was searching for reasons for him to be innocent because the thought of his going to prison made her sick to her stomach. No matter what he’d done, that single thought filled her with dread, as if she were the one facing such a dire future. Is that why she felt so miserable? Maybe it wasn’t heartbreak she was experiencing, just gut-wrenching compassion for a friend. A supposed friend. No, he wasn’t a bloody friend, damnit.
“I wonder what town that is,” Jack said. “I’m going to read the charts and dig out my uncle Thomas’s map to find out. Have you seen the one he gave my father? It’s a map of the entire east coast of America and well enough drawn that my father didn’t immediately toss it out simply because an Anderson drew it.” Jack laughed. “Cartography might only be a hobby for Thomas, but he’s quite meticulous at it.”
Judith took a closer look at the town that had sparked Jacqueline’s curiosity. She could see single-story houses, a church steeple, a few short docks with only fishing boats tied to them. The Maiden George was close enough to shore that she could make out some people waving at them, or more likely waving at the children swimming in the water.
Her eyes flared wide. A strong man could easily swim to shore from this distance. She didn’t have to marry Nathan to save him from prison. She just had to let him out of his cell.
She hurried after Jack to have a look at that map herself. James had said they’d reach Bridgeport sometime between midnight and dawn. They would still get a good night’s sleep since he didn’t plan to dock the ship until daylight. So she could do it anytime after they were anchored in the harbor or even before that, if she could figure out where they were along the coast.
At least that sick feeling of dread had gone away, now that she had a positive plan. She did have a few second thoughts, though. The jewelry still hadn’t been found. Her family would be furious at her for helping Nathan to escape. Jack was the only one who would understand why she had to do it. But when she snuck down to the brig late that night, she found it empty. Nathan was already gone.