I was terrified to answer, he looked so angry. Like he could kill someone. The rage in his eyes made me only want to take away whatever anger he was feeling. I wanted to protect him from himself.
“It happened and he left. I didn’t want to disturb you, I know you were busy,” I explained. I didn’t want to let him know all the details of it. I didn’t want to tell him the threats David made.
It would just cause more pain and trauma than any of us needed.
“That’s why I gave you the number to my cell, so you could call me when things like this happen, Jo.” He may have been admonishing me, but his tone sounded entirely different. He was concerned. Worried.
“Greyson, it sounds like you care,” I joked.
“I do, and I think you are absolutely gorgeous sitting there, all worried like that. You have no idea how everything you do turns me on.” He wrapped his arms around my body and kissed my neck.
He smelled so good and was so warm against my skin.
But this. All of this. It wasn’t my life. I didn’t belong here. What David said ran in my ears. I didn’t know him, didn’t know what he was capable of. But I did know that this wasn’t my life. I was in graduate school, I was getting my PhD. All of the things I should be doing, instead of getting married to man because of our families. It all seemed so stupid to me, so flimsy.
And I couldn’t escape that.
“Greyson, there is something I have to tell you. Something I have to say. I can’t just have sex with you tonight and go back to living with you tomorrow like nothing happened. We keep playing this game.”
“I like our games. Especially the ones where I get to tie you up,” he said, his breath heavy as he kissed my neck. “But I’m dirty, so much dirtier than that. I want to do more to you. Bind you, spank you, f*ck
you hard. Make you cum over and over again…” he trailed off.
“I want that too,” I murmured, “but we can’t.”
“Oh yes, yes we can.”
No. This was too important.
I pushed him away from me. “We have sex, we act like it was nothing, we exist alongside each other. If all of this is going to happen, I need to know that you want more. I need to know that you won’t just turn back into the playboy everyone says you are.” I swallowed hard. I was so tired of seeing the look in people’s eyes. Like Claire, and David. I was tired of the way they looked at me, questioning me.
Even his own sister looked full of doubt when she saw me.
“Joanna, that isn’t what I want. I think you know that there is something more between us, something that neither of us want to admit. Something we have to explore. Let’s just see where this takes us.” He kissed my temple and said, “I’m glad you didn’t open the door for anyone but me, I can’t help it, but I want you, Jo. I want you so badly.”
I melted, my inability to say no fueled by the responses of my body. The heat flushed through me and flooded my most sensitive areas. The sticky wet feeling that followed it all to familiar.
My body lusted after him and there was nothing I could do. I’d tried fighting it, I’d tried denying myself. I’d done just about everything a woman could do, but now it was time to give in. I just had to enjoy the ride.
So I did.
I kissed him deeply, my tongue invading his mouth, letting me know the passion he held for me. He was responsible for this entire mess, all of it. He couldn’t keep his hands off me that night at that poker game, and he couldn’t help himself. He just had to take me out for the world to see. For my uncle to see. Greyson Fitzgerald started this cascade of events and he alone was responsible for it.
“Tell me, Joanna.” He picked me up and kissed me hard, his teeth bruising my lips as he gripped my flesh. The man was impossible. He couldn’t take pleasure without pain, and to be honest, I didn’t want it any other way.
“What do you want to hear?” I asked, choosing the role of the playful defiant.
“Tell me what you want me.”
“I want you, Greyson. It’s impossible and foolish and likely to get me into a lot of trouble, but I can’t stop myself when it comes to you.” I was so honest in that moment, so raw that I shocked even myself.
His mouth switched from surprise to enjoyment, however and he growled in my ear, the guttural noise of his want overwhelming me.
“How much.”
I kissed him again, showing him just how much I wanted him. All of that emotion. All of that need, that fear, all that raw passion. It was like a dam in me broke somewhere and all of the baggage I’d been carrying with me came tumbling down before him. I didn’t realize it, but somewhere in that kiss I started crying.
I was afraid to admit how much I wanted this. How much I wanted him.
He laid me down on the bed and grinned. “God, Jo, you know exactly how to make a guy feel wanted. Still, I should punish you for not calling me sooner.”