My mother used to say that everything happens for a reason. It didn’t matter how insignificant or how heart-wrenchingly tragic, she’d say it was just meant to be. She truly believed that if a person was patient enough… looked hard enough… for long enough, they’d be able to find their silver lining. Her faith never faltered. Facing difficult times with strength and determination, my loving mother would wait… no matter how long it took. It might have taken her months or even years, but my mother would always be able to find that light shining at the end of the long, dark tunnel.
I say bullshit. There is no fucking silver lining. Shit happens. Hard times are just a part of life, like the air we breathe. We have to learn to deal with the hand we are dealt and move the hell on. Yet, every damn time something fucked up happens in my life, I find myself thinking of my mother. If she were still alive, I wonder what she’d have to say about everything that’s happened in my life over the last year. Would she be able to find my silver lining? Because, I sure as hell can’t.
Chapter 1
Maverick
?
“Don’t rush into this, Maverick. I know what you’re like. Give it some time, brother,” Cotton told me. I could see the concern in his penetrating eyes, and it meant a lot to me that he was trying to help. He was a good man… a good President. The brothers of Satan’s Fury looked up to him-admired him. We all knew that the club was his life, and he was all about the brotherhood. As our President, he had no problem sacrificing everything for the club – even laying down his own life, time and time again, if it meant protecting his family. I respected him for that, and was honored to be a part of it. “I know what’s really going on here. You can blame this on whatever you want, but the truth is glaring you right in the face.”
“He’s my son! What kind of man would I be if I put him in danger? I can’t risk it, Cotton,” I told him, as I looked down at my broken arm that was now wrapped up in a sling. I was a fucking mess. Bruises and cuts covered my body from head to toe. They’d done a pretty good job of working me over, and I still couldn’t figure out why they didn’t just kill me when they had the chance. “Think about it. What if he was with me when those motherfuckers jumped me? It’s up to me to protect him, and I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to him. I already ruined his mother’s life, and I’ll be damned if I ruin his.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it. Hailey brought that shit on herself. You can’t keep carrying all of the blame,” Cotton snapped.
“It was my fault! All if it! I wasn’t there when she needed me. I should have stuck with her, made sure she got the help she needed. Now she’s dead, and I have to own that. John Warren is all I have left of her. I can’t let anything happen to him.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to him, Maverick,” he assured me, but we both knew he couldn’t guarantee that. “None of that even matters… it’s all in the past. Right now, you have to face your demons, either fight them or learn to live with them.”
I knew he was right. My mind had been a cluster fuck since the day I brought John Warren home with me. When I looked at him, I could tell that he had my blood running through his veins. He was such a good looking kid – healthy and strong. I was thankful that his mother’s drug use hadn’t hurt him. Yet, there was a question lingering deep inside of me. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Why did this strange pull keep going off in my head? I loved this kid from the start, but my mind was bombarded with doubts – some of which I couldn’t even name. I had to believe that I was doing this for him. I’d fucked up so much already, I couldn’t be responsible for ruining another life. Me… the club… whatever the reason, John Warren didn’t belong here with me. He deserved more.
“I can’t take that chance. I can’t make the same mistakes again, Cotton.” My throat tightened, making it difficult to even say the words. I truly believed that taking him to Lily was the right thing to do. He deserved a mother, and I knew she loved him as her own. But, the selfish side of me wished things could be different. Still, I knew I had to protect him at all costs. That was the most important thing now.
“Maverick…” Cotton tried again.
“I need you to back me up on this,” I argued. “It’s the right thing for John Warren… and for me.”
His face was registered with acceptance as he brought his hand up, and rested it on my shoulder. “I wish you’d give it more time, but if this is what you think you should do, I’ll support you on it. When do you need to leave?”