This day couldn’t get any worse. It was a Monday after all, and it came on the heels of a craptastic weekend. I spent all weekend vacillating between working my ass off and moping over Matt.
I try to mentally kick my ass over and over again for getting feelings caught up in this strange ‘thing’ I have going on with Matt. It’s a ‘thing’ because it’s not a relationship. We don’t really talk unless it’s to murmur dirty words to each other. I mean, it’s not like we’re sharing our hopes and dreams with one another. In essence, other than giving me bone-melting orgasms, he doesn’t really care for me.
Why is he plaguing my thoughts so much?
I figured coming into work might help me take my mind off things. I mean, I was met at my office door by Lorraine, who berated me for being five-minutes late, and for a solid thirty seconds… I didn’t think of Matt.
No, I thought of putting my hands around Lorraine’s scrawny neck and wringing the ever-fucking life out of her. But then she simmered down and asked to see the Memorandum I had drafted for her this weekend. She sat in her office, all prim and proper, and silently read my work.
The best possible scenario occurred, and she looked up at me with lips thinned flat and said, “I can use this. It’s passable.”
The vision of my fingers squeezing her throat pushed its way back in my mind, and I let myself succumb to the few seconds of bliss that it afforded me.
After Lorraine trounced out of my office, I spent my time reading the articles on biomechanical engineering that Matt had sent me. By the third one, I was starting to understand it a bit more and wasn’t feeling nearly as stupid.
I took a quick lunch break and ran down the block to get a sub, eating it as I walked back to the office. I then immersed myself so deeply back into the world of biomechanics that I was surprised when I glanced at the clock to see that it was almost six PM.
Logging off my computer, I pack my briefcase up and head out. I stop by Lorraine’s office before I leave, because she expects me to… just to make sure she doesn’t have any other orders to parcel out. I stick my head in and say, “I’m heading out, Lorraine. Do you need anything?”
And I will punch you if you ask me to get you some coffee.
She looks up and gives me a cougar of a smile. “No. I’m just waiting on Matt to finish up with a mediation. He’s taking me out to dinner tonight.”
I truly hope it’s not that apparent, but I know my face turns an angry red because I can feel it heat up like someone had stuck a hot iron on it.
The motherfucker lets me blow him and can’t be bothered to buy me a meal, but he takes Lorraine “Skank” Cummings out for dinner?
I take a deep breath and hope my voice comes out in a neutrally calm way. “Dinner?”
“Yes,” she gushes, reaching into her purse and swiping on some lipstick. I notice she gets a chunk on her right front tooth, but I don’t point it out to her. Hope Matt finds that attractive. “He buzzed me this morning and asked if I had time for dinner tonight at seven. I knew it was just a matter of time.”
My head is buzzing and I think I actually may take a step toward her to strangle her, but then I realize my anger is more for Matt than her. Though it’s probably in everyone’s best interest if I just call it a night and head home. In fact, I think it would behoove me to call in sick for a few days, because I really don’t think I can handle this right now.
Turning around so she doesn’t see the look on my face, I manage to grit out, “Well, have a nice time tonight.”
She actually has the lame temerity to say, “Toodles.”
I’m pissed, hurt, and really pissed. I stomp down the hall and, as I round the corner to the lobby, I’m brought up short by the surreal visage of seeing Matt standing with two other lawyers, talking quietly. And not just any lawyers… one of them is Cal Carson.