"Bye, Grace."
I hung up and sat on my bed in my underwear, chewing on my thumbnail. Brother and sister? Is that really what Alex and I acted like together? No. He loved me. I mean, I loved him? No, I loved him. Of course, I loved him. I was attracted to him. He was handsome and sweet and good. I was lucky to have him. He did make me feel safe. So what? Was that a bad quality? I loved Abby, but she wasn't the one who had to live my life. I needed to get this straight in my head before I went out to dinner with walking sex-on-a-stick.
My phone rang again. It was Alex.
"Hi," I answered on a smile.
"Hi yourself. How's the headache?"
"Oh it's fine. I feel better." I had told him I went home early from the office because of a headache. "Actually, I ran into an old friend today and I'm going to dinner with… him."
"Him?"
I nodded my head and then realized he couldn't see me. "Um, yeah. I ran into him at Trilogy today when I was there with Kate Powers on a case. I met him at a law conference I went to years ago and he asked me if I wanted to grab a bite with him tonight. Of course, he knows I'm engaged. Do you mind?"
He paused. "No. That's fine. I'm going to turn in early anyway. Gotta be back in court early again tomorrow." He yawned. "Have a good time, okay?"
"Oh, okay. Love you."
"Love you. I'll see you in the office tomorrow afternoon. Bye, sweetie."
"Bye, Alex."
I hung up and sat chewing my thumbnail for a few minutes longer. Then I got up and did my makeup. I wasn't sure what to wear since I didn't know where Carson was taking me so I pulled on a pair of dark jeans with my black high-heeled boots and a see through silvery blue sweater with a matching cami underneath. It was casual, but dressy enough for a nice restaurant too.
I went back into the bathroom to take my hair out of the ponytail I had put it in to do my makeup, when the doorbell rang. I ran a brush through my hair quickly, took a deep breath and went to answer it.
I pulled it open and Carson was filling my doorway, six feet of male, every inch of him beautiful. I knew. I remembered every inch of him. I almost shivered. This was already off to a very bad start. "Hi," I said, opening the door so he could come inside.
I backed up and hitched my thumb over my shoulder. "I'll just grab my coat."
He didn't say anything. Just narrowed his eyes and smiled tightly. Was there a problem?
I grabbed my coat and purse and walked back to Carson who was still standing in my doorway, glancing around. He still hadn't said a word to me.
I moved toward the door and he pulled it open and let me go through first, and then followed and waited as I locked up. We walked in silence down to a big, black truck and he held the door open for me as I climbed inside. I took in his cold expression and felt a wave of hurt wash over me. I pushed the feeling away, realizing that this was probably a very bad idea.
**********
Carson
I closed Grace's door and went around my truck and climbed inside. My blood was humming with her proximity, and as much as I wanted to enjoy dinner with her, I had worked myself into a tense mood over the fact that there were things between us again, things that were going to make it very challenging for this to go anywhere. What the fuck was I doing? It had been hard enough to get over her the first time. And now I was willingly putting myself back in the same situation, only worse this time? Jesus. I was some kind of masochist when it came to this girl. The first time, I hadn't known how she would end up affecting me. This time I did, it probably wouldn't end well, and I was back for more. It had really become obvious to me when she opened the door, her cheeks all flushed and her hair down–even longer than it had been when I first met her, and everything in my body yearned to rip her clothes off and take her up against her wall. I needed to get a handle on that. She was engaged. Shit. And I was unavailable for a relationship anyway, for all intents and purposes. So why did I have a vague idea that when it came down to it, I was going to act like a fucking idiot and push all those very good reasons aside? I didn't trust myself with Grace Hamilton, plain and simple. She was like a magnet–drawing me to her. I was unable to resist her pull.
I glanced over at Grace and she looked uncertain, biting her lip and waiting for me to start the truck. I was making her nervous. I didn't like that either. I forced myself to relax.
It wasn't like this was just any woman. This was Grace. I almost felt like, in part, she had been with me all along. A constant in my heart, if not in my life. It was a thought, but it was also a feeling and all of a sudden, having her with me almost felt like a priority–like I'd be stronger with her. Stronger for what was going on with Josh, stronger for everything. It surged through my body, filling me with purpose and scaring the fuck out of me at the same time. There were a lot of things standing in our way, just like the last time. But suddenly, as my eyes took her in, all my doubts, from only a few minutes before, fell to the wayside and it seemed critical that I at least try to see where things could go this time. I couldn't explain it, it didn't make a whole lot of sense. But in that moment, the feeling was so strong, I accepted it.
"Guess what?" I finally asked.
Her eyes darted to mine in the dim light of the car. "What?" she asked back, tilting her head.