But the anger, the anger was taking hold. Clenching my hands into fists, my body filled with rage, then I snapped my head back and released a loud roar. But it wasn’t enough, the flames were burning hotter still, my blood like lava, thick and hot.
Stabbing my knife into my belt, I jumped forward and gripped the table in front. I threw it over, hearing it crash to the floor, but it wasn’t enough. A chair came next. Lifting it into the air, I launched it at the wall, the wood splintering into pieces. But the rage was still fucking there. I took another chair, then another, smashing them one by one. But no relief came. All I could see in my head was Maddie’s hand in mine. Her lips pressed against mine. Her arms wrapped around mine. And it was all I could see. As I paced, as I treaded the wooden floor, her face was all I could see.
Then I could see her tied down at that church. At that motherfucking church! I could see her screaming in my head. I could see her in pain. And I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t fucking take it!
Then I thought of her gone, gone from my side, and stopped dead. No Maddie in my cabin. No Maddie laying beside me, helping me sleep. And no Maddie holding my hand, stroking my face, singing to me…
Unable to take the feeling gutting my body, I dropped to my knees, and all the fire drained out from my blood.
I rocked back and forth on my knees, my heart aching at the fact that she’d gone. I reached for the knife, but this feeling inside of me was new and I couldn’t cut it out. It wasn’t the flames. It wasn’t something that could be freed by my blade. It was my heart, without her. My heart was dark and empty, without her. And nothing I could do would take this feeling away.
My chest tightened so hard that I felt I couldn’t breathe, then sounds came from my mouth. Sounds I didn’t know.
The room had gone silent but for the sounds coming from me. Then I heard, “Fuck, Flame…. Brother…”
AK and Viking dropped down before me. “Flame. Shit.”
I rocked back and forth, holding my hand over my heart. “She’s gone,” I croaked, looking at my best friends, “And I can’t breathe. In here, is dark and empty, and she’s gone. I can’t get the feeling to go.”
“What the fuck’s going on?” I heard someone ask.
“He’s claimed Madds,” AK said without looking away from me, pulling back his outstretched hand from nearly touching me. “They’re fucking finally together and she’s gone. As you can see, he ain’t handling that shit too well.”
“Fuck me. Flame and Madds?” someone murmured. I looked up to see Ky and Styx approaching.
“She’s mine,” I said and saw Ky nodding his head.
“We know, brother,” he rasped.
“We need to get them back. I need her back. I can’t live without her.”
Styx turned away, his hand gripping the sides of his head and Ky rasped, “I know. I fucking feel the same way. We all fucking feel the same way.” But he couldn’t. They couldn’t. Because he didn’t have the flames. He didn’t have my flames that only Maddie could keep away.
Silence reigned strong, when suddenly Tanner ran into the room.
“What?” Ky said harshly.
“I fucking got them. GPS is off now, probably been destroyed, but it last tracked them about an hour north. Last reading was minutes ago. I checked the map, it’s some fucking ghost town. The signal came from the mill.”
“Shit. It’s the place where we used to make the Russian drop off,” Ky said to Styx, as he looked at the map Tanner held out.
In seconds I was on my feet.
“Wait!” Tank shouted, and I looked back, rocking on my feet. “Could be a fucking trap, Flame.”
“Like I fucking care,” I snapped. “I’m going to get my Maddie. And I got dibs on the fuckers responsible. I want their blood. I want their death on my fucking hands.”
*****
I’d never ridden so fast in my life. My Harley cutting up road like a motherfucking demon.