I knew they would be coming for me, to be punished in Mae’s stead.
The doorknob suddenly turned, and hearing my deep shallow breaths roaring in my ears, the door opened to reveal Brother Moses’ broad frame.
His eyes immediately sought me out.
As he found me, curled tightly against the far back wall, he flicked his hand, his silent command for me to stand. Feeling my legs might fail, I used my hands on the wall to help me get to my feet.
Brother Moses turned without a word and walked out of the door. I followed behind, unable to even glance at Lilah as I passed. I feared I could not withstand the fear and sympathy that would be in her pretty blue gaze.
Brother Moses turned to walk down the hallway, to the room we always went to when he took me in a brother-sister exchange. But as I risked a glance to search the rest of the hallway, I wondered where the other Elders had gone?
As we arrived at Moses’ room, my question was answered.
Brothers Jacob, Noah and Gabriel stood in the center of Moses’ room beside the shackle table. The table that I would be taken on every night, whipped and chained, while Moses exorcised my sinful soul. The table he had taken me on as a child.
Each Elder had removed their shirts and pants, and were all watching me, their hands moving back and forth on their erect lengths. And fear, like I had never experienced before, took hold.
My feet, seeming to move of their own accord, stumbled backwards, everything within me telling me to run. But just as I turned in terror of what they wanted to do with me, a hand gripped my arm—Brother Moses. I cried out in pain as he dragged me backwards, slamming the door, trapping me inside.
Spinning me round, Brother Moses jerked me to stand before him, my neck snapping back at the force. Tightening his grip on my arm, he reached up and stroked his callused finger down my face and over my neck. My skin crawled at his familiar rough touch, and I flinched.
Moses’ finger stopped as he met the high neckline of my dress. I panted, trying to breathe through my fear, when he said, “You see, brothers, her tainted soul pulls back from the Lord’s touch.”
And my heart fell. My heart fell at the look of determination in all the brothers’ stares. The determination to exorcize my sin.
I fought back a whimper as Brother Moses began to close in to my body, his tobacco smell filling my nose. His breath washed over my face as he reached around my waist and slowly pulled down the zipper on my dress.
In seconds my dress had hit the floor, along with my modesty. And I was bared to the Elders. Bare and shaking. Moses never allowed me to wear undergarments, a law I despised. He did not like to have to fight to take me.
Brother Gabriel stepped forward, and Brother Moses’ moved aside. I wanted to cover my body. I wanted to turn and flee, wanted to be left alone, but I fought the urge and remained utterly still.
These men had me under their control. I had always obeyed their every command.
Gabriel’s hand lifted, and he licked along his bottom lip as his fingers ran over my nipple. Tears filled my eyes at being touched so by the second in command to the Prophet, but I blinked them away, forcing myself to endure his exploration.
But that finger then began to move south, down to my most private area. As Gabriel’s finger pushed through my folds, a pained cry slipped from my lips. I could not stomach the feel of his touch. I wanted to hit his hand away, I wanted to tell him to stop. But I knew I did not have that much power.
And I would be punished further. I could not stand to be punished further.
Gabriel’s eyes flared as he rubbed his finger between my legs, and his face moved closer to mine. Just before his mouth met my ear, he thrust his finger deep within me, and I cried out in pain.