Soul Bonded

chapter THIRTY-ONE



The drive was a nightmare. Worse than a nightmare, actually, because the sickening slide of the tires around every curve made her feel out of control in a way that was all too real. The sensation took her back in time to only a week ago, when an ill-conceived trip into bad weather on treacherous roads had ended with her nearly freezing to death in a ditch. Driving with the frigid wind whipping against her face made her feel even more panicky. With no windows, they would have no protection from the elements if she wrecked this time.

She hoped that her decision to leave without waiting for the snow to melt wasn’t the wrong one. If she had another accident, they would be sitting ducks for vengeance-seeking werewolves. Even if Rafe woke up, that would be an awful situation. If he didn’t, she wasn’t certain she could shoot their way out of it.

In the backseat, Shilah whimpered every time she hit a particularly rough section of road. More worrying was that Rafe made no sound at all. She strained to hear something—anything—over the crunch of the tires on the snow and the panicked rasp of her own breathing. But there was nothing. Rafe wasn’t there.

Even though she still felt their connection enough to know that Rafe was still with her, the thought disturbed her immensely. How much longer until she felt nothing at all? Taking her attention off the road for only an instant, she scanned his slumbering form from head to toe. Was there some injury she couldn’t see? He was littered with cuts and bruises, but nothing that explained his continued sleep. She yearned to pull over and try to wake him as Susan had suggested, but she intended to heed the warning to wait until they’d driven a few miles west. Just to be safe.

Safe. Katie tried to snicker, but couldn’t seem to force her lips out of the tense line they’d formed. Right now she felt anything but safe. She hadn’t felt safe since Rafe walked out the front door the night before.

When the road finally dead-ended, offering her a choice between east and west, Katie took the right-turn with a grateful sigh. Her relief immediately turned into horror when the truck’s back-end fishtailed on the slippery surface, sending her careening toward the side of the road in what seemed like slow motion. She tightened her grip on the steering wheel, paralyzed for what felt like an eternity before instinct took over and she steered out of the deadly slide. From behind her came the sound of Shilah yawning loudly, clearly anxious, while Rafe uttered a moan that was so quiet, at first she wasn’t sure that she’d really heard it.

“Rafe?” Katie pushed down on the brake, slowing to a tentative stop only yards away from the interchange. She touched his bare thigh, pleased to find his skin once again warm to the touch. “Sorry about that. If you want to take over behind the wheel, I’m all for it.” When he didn’t stir, she cradled his face in her hand. “I need you here with me, baby. Please come back to me.”

He groaned, and her heart sang. Glancing around to make sure they were still alone, she pressed both palms flat against his chest, then bowed her head and focused all her longing for his company on their point of contact. All the love he inspired, her dreams of sharing a future with this man she just met, every intangible, illogical thing he made her feel—she took all of those emotions, jumbled as they were, and channeled them into a yearning, all-consuming plea to the universe to release Rafe from whatever deep, dark place he’d fallen into.

“Wake up,” Katie whispered, then sobbed quietly when Rafe’s eyelashes fluttered. “Wake up, wake up.”

The sound of a wolf howling in the distance shattered her concentration and raised the hairs on the back of her neck. Katie snatched her hands back and grasped the steering wheel, then let off the brake. They were obviously still in the middle of werewolf territory, which made stopping a very bad idea. As much as she wanted to revive Rafe, that couldn’t distract her from the all-important business of securing their escape. She sensed that she would only need another minute or two to rouse him, but right now continuing their slow and steady pace toward civilization seemed like the wiser choice.

She didn’t make it another mile before a second howl arose from behind them. Katie jolted at the mournful cry, then stiffened in dread as a reply came from somewhere north of their position, far closer than she liked. Already she was second-guessing her decision not to rouse Rafe. If they were going to be ambushed by wolves, she’d feel a hell of a lot better if Rafe were awake for the fight. Of course, her ultimate goal was to avoid a confrontation at all.

“Shit,” she muttered. She tore her gaze away from the path ahead every few seconds, checking Rafe again and again. Each time her attention shifted to the passenger seat, she hoped to find green eyes staring back at her. Every time it didn’t happen, her sense of desolation grew. “I don’t know what to do.” She spoke to Shilah as much as Rafe, not expecting an answer from either of them. She was on her own. This was her decision to make, and the consequences would be her responsibility to bear. “I want you awake. I know you want to be awake.”

She tried to decide what Rafe would want her to do. She had no doubt that he wanted to protect her and would beat himself up over the knowledge that she’d had to fend for herself while he slept. But he would also want her to do whatever kept her safest. She just wished she knew what that was.

The back end of the truck slid this way and that as she rounded a bend in the road, sending her perilously close to the edge of the steep drop-off she’d been trying not to notice. She regained control within seconds, but the mishap left her sweating and trembling uncontrollably. One thing was certain—driving didn’t make her feel safe. Neither did stopping. The reality was, there was no such thing as safe as long as they were trapped in the Sierra Nevada mountains. There were only different degrees of danger.

Katie felt like she was having an out of body experience as she slowly applied her foot to the brake and pulled to the side of the road. After only a moment of internal debate, she shifted into park. If she did this quickly, Rafe would be awake and he could help her make decisions. That was all she wanted right now. Someone to help her decide what to do next. Unbuckling her seatbelt, she climbed over the center console and straddled Rafe’s hips as she took his face between her hands.

“Rafe, it’s time to wake up now.” She tried to sound calm, but her voice wavered and emotion came to the front. Her vision blurred and her eyes stung, but she blinked back the urge to burst into tears and forced steel into her voice. “Listen to me. I need you. I can’t do this without you anymore.”

He didn’t respond. Sitting forward on his lap, Katie used her fingers to part his thick, dark hair and searched his scalp for signs of a head injury. If he’d suffered a hard enough blow to the skull, all the supernatural healing magic in the world wouldn’t fix it. At least she didn’t think it would. Yet Susan had seemed confident that she could help him. Recalling her advice to have skin-on-skin contact, Katie pulled her shirt and bra up in one motion, gathering them under her chin and pressing her bare chest against Rafe’s. She rested her head on his shoulder, her cheek touching his, and whispered into his ear.

“I don’t want to do this alone.” Voice breaking, she clung to his naked body, comforted by the heat he exuded. She focused on how badly she wanted to be with Rafe, how empty she felt without him, and let the full scope of her love flow out of her and into him. He shifted ever-so-slightly beneath her, and Katie whispered, “Please don’t make me do this alone. Help me.”

Inspired by her favorite fairy tale as a child, she pressed her lips to his and gave him a chaste kiss. When that failed to rouse him, she increased the pressure of her mouth against his, then traced the tip of her tongue along his lower lip. He stirred beneath her, clearly aware and approving of her presence. Encouraged by the sudden, feather-light caress of his finger along the bare skin of her side, she squeezed him tight and wished with all her might that he would wake up and kiss her back.

And that’s what he did.

One moment she was kissing an unconscious man, and the next, his tongue teased hers while one hand tangled in her hair and the other slid down to caress her ass. Breaking their kiss with a gasp, Katie sat back on his lap and sobbed in relief at the sight of his dazed, happy smile.

“That was a really nice way to wake up.” Rafe released her hair and traced her mouth with his thumb. “Special occasion?”

She brayed loud laughter before dissolving into silent, quaking sobs. Exhausted from the effort of waking him, she collapsed onto his chest, grateful for the steady thump of his heartbeat against her breast. Not ready to move, she forced herself not to focus on the urgency of the situation so that she could enjoy the way his hands explored her body for another minute more. “Not really,” she choked out.

Rafe moved the hand that had been stroking her ass to the middle of her back and held her close. “Shh, don’t cry. You’re alive. I assume, despite how my head feels, that I’m alive…” He gave her a gentle squeeze and rubbed her lower back. “Everything turned out okay.”

Katie shook her head. That wasn’t true—not yet. The thought yanked her back to reality. As good as it felt to be held, this was no time for cuddling. She had to drive them out of there. She tried to climb off Rafe’s lap, but he held her in place. Painfully aware that he didn’t yet understand the full scope of what had happened while he was unconscious, Katie debated what to tell him now and what to leave for later. The most important thing was to express the urgency of their need for escape. The details—including Susan—could wait until they were safe. “We’ve got to keep moving. We’re about five miles from the interchange, going west. The roads are awful, but we had to leave. I killed six of them and I didn’t even stop to see how many you got. Lisa’s still alive, though, and she’s pissed, and I’m pretty sure we’ve got their whole pack after us now…maybe even your Alpha, too.”

“Whoa.” Rafe took her by the elbows and eased her back so he could look into her eyes. “You killed six of them?” Suddenly a bit frantic, he ran his hands over her body as though checking for invisible injuries. “Are you hurt?”

“A few cuts and bruises, but no big deal.” She pulled her shirt and bra down and tried to climb over to the driver’s seat again. “Let’s talk while I drive—“

He put his hands on her thighs to keep her in place. “Wait. Did they hurt you?” He looked around the cab of the truck as though noticing where they were for the first time. “How did you get me into the truck? And where’s—“ He glanced into the backseat, reaching for his dog even as Shilah leaned forward to nuzzle into his touch. “What happened?”

The sound of another wolf howling pulled Rafe’s attention out the driver’s side window. Katie put her hand on his cheek and urged his face forward. She could feel his mind racing as he tried to catch up with the events of the past fourteen hours, then his body tensed when the danger of their present circumstances seemed to become clear to him. This time when she lifted off him, he let her go. She fastened her seatbelt and shifted the truck into drive, pulling back onto the road slowly.

“We had a long night.” Katie cringed at the quaver in her voice. She was determined not to fall apart until they were safe in a hotel somewhere far away. Just thinking about being able to crawl into bed with Rafe—naked, warm, and secure—threatened to shatter her composure completely. “Shilah was injured when wolves broke into the cabin.”

Rafe cursed under his breath. She tore her eyes away from the road ahead to give him a sidelong glance, and giggled in surprise to find him with both hands cupped over his crotch. “I want to hear all about it—seriously—but first please tell me you thought to grab some pants before we left?”

She jerked her head toward the backseat. “Next to Shilah.”

He leaned over the center console and grabbed the extra set of clothes with a grateful grunt. “Good. If we’re going into human territory, I want to be ready. I’ll need to blend in.”

Human territory. Katie recalled Susan’s prediction about Rafe having a difficult time in San Francisco. She desperately hoped it wouldn’t come true. It was clear that she wasn’t safe in Rafe’s world, which meant their best shot at a life together was in hers. Even if he experienced a bit of culture shock, surely he would adjust. At least he wouldn’t have to fear for his safety—or hers. She was so lost in her thoughts that she nearly missed Rafe’s strange silence after he tugged on his T-shirt. But an ominous quiet settled over them, making Katie’s stomach churn and drawing her attention to the passenger seat.

“What’s wrong?” Katie asked.

Rafe blinked and turned to her slowly. “Who helped you put me in the truck?”

She bit her lip, hesitant to go down this path while they were still fleeing for their lives. But she couldn’t lie, and she could tell from the tone of his voice that he already knew the answer anyway. “It was Susan, honey. She showed up this morning when I went outside to find you.”

He sat back in the seat, planting his hands on his knees and exhaling in a rush. After what felt like forever, during which time Katie didn’t dare to take her eyes off the road, he pulled on his pants and socks. Once he was fully clothed, he said, “Do you want me to drive?”

Of all the follow-up questions he could have asked, that was the last one she’d expected. Katie shook her head. “Maybe in a little bit. First you should wake up—and we should talk.”

“Apparently so,” Rafe murmured. He rested his hand on her thigh, and the connection brought instant calm. “So let’s talk. Tell me what happened…start from the beginning. After the transformation.”

Surprised that he didn’t want to hear about Susan first, Katie mentally reviewed the entire sordid tale. A fresh wave of guilt crept over her at the prospect of confessing how she’d barely even hesitated before ignoring his order to lay low and avoid confrontation. How could she justify disobeying him when the casualty of that rebellion was sprawled across the backseat for both of them to see? A lump rose in her throat, making it hard to swallow. “Rafe, I—“

His fingers tightened almost imperceptibly on her thigh. “Just tell me everything. Whatever it is, it’s not nearly as bad as you think. The important thing is that we’re both alive.”

Katie exhaled. She knew better than to believe that Rafe could hate her for what she’d done. It simply wasn’t possible. She was almost positive that there was nothing he could do to change how she felt about him, and trusted that that loyalty went both ways. Confident that their bond was strong enough to handle everything she was about to say, Katie did exactly as Rafe suggested and started at the beginning. “I went up to the attic after the fight began. I know you told me not to, but I couldn’t stand not knowing what was happening. Not being able to see you when I could hear such awful noises—“

“I understand.” Rafe gave her a gentle pat. “Honestly, I do. I’m not upset with you.”

Unsure how he would feel once he knew the whole story, Katie decided to just get through it as quickly as possible. “When I got up there, I looked out the back window first. You were fighting in front with most of the wolves who were there, but I spotted two on the ground who were isolated from the others. I knew they were heading to help the rest attack you, and I honestly didn’t even think—I just reacted. I figured if I could take out stragglers who were away from the main action, the other wolves would be too distracted with you to even notice. And that would mean fewer for you to fight alone.” Aware that he hadn’t liked that plan the first time she’d said it, she subtly checked Rafe’s reaction to her confession. He was actually smiling. Confused, Katie said, “You really aren’t angry?”

“I’m not angry. I’m not surprised, either.” The fondness in Rafe’s voice relaxed her instantly. “I was pretty sure you were going to do whatever you had to do to protect me. Obviously I didn’t want you taking unnecessary risks, and I would have preferred that you just did as I asked and stayed hidden, but I can’t exactly be upset with you for doing what I would have done, in your situation. You want to protect me just as much as I want to protect you. That’s the nature of our bond. How could I ever hold that against you?”

Katie sagged in relief. “Thank you for understanding.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m thrilled, mind you.” His obvious concern wrapped around her like a warm blanket, taking away the chill in the cab. When he stroked her thigh with so much adoration, it filled her with that feeling of safety and belonging she had been craving all morning. He chuckled. “I have a feeling the rest of this story will terrify me, but please keep going.”

She knew that was true. The rest of the story terrified her, and she’d lived it. “It was just like you said. They smelled me as soon as I opened the window, but I managed to shoot them both. Then I ducked out of sight, honestly a little freaked out by the realization that I’d just taken two lives. Once I got my head back together, I looked out the window again and saw four more wolves standing over the bodies. They spotted me right away, so I took a shot at one of them, but I missed. Naturally, they all took off running. That’s when I heard a window break downstairs.” Katie tightened her hands on the wheel, tense and angry at herself in retrospect. That was the moment when she should have gone downstairs to protect Shilah.

“Then what?” Rafe asked in a gentle voice.

“I knew they would break in eventually, but I wanted to look out the other window before I had to deal with them. I wanted to see if I could help you. So I…” She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I closed the hatch on my way past it. I went to the other window and saw you fighting. There were five of them surrounding you, and another group of wolves were fighting nearby.” For the first time since he’d woken up, she remembered the somber news she had to deliver. “Rafe, Cooper is dead.”

She felt the physical impact of the news as his body jolted beside her. “What?”

“I found his body this morning. That must have been him last night, fighting the smaller group of wolves beside you.” Katie fell silent as the truck’s tires struggled to maintain traction on the slick surface. Turning her focus toward driving while Rafe processed her words, she began to worry after he didn’t speak for a long time. Guilt radiated from him, and stark torment. Without looking away from the road, she murmured, “It’s not your fault, honey.”

“I didn’t honestly think anyone would come fight with me.”

The agony he was clearly feeling made her insides ache. “He’d known you since you were a little boy. Even if you always felt like a lone wolf, he obviously cared about you.”

“Obviously.” From her peripheral vision, she saw him brusquely scrub the back of his hand over his eyes. “It doesn’t feel right to just leave him. I know they’re coming for us, but—”

“Cooper would want you to escape. Otherwise he died for no reason.”

Rafe put his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands. “I know. I just wish I could have at least told his mate. Taken his body to her…”

“I’m so sorry.” Katie didn’t think that leaving immediately had been the wrong choice, but she hated that Rafe hadn’t had a chance for any type of closure before she took him away from his home—possibly forever. “You can call her from the city.”

Sniffing, Rafe nodded and put his hand back on her thigh. “So you saw me fighting. What happened next?”

The knot in her stomach only got bigger. “Wolves broke in through one of the back windows. I heard…” She shuddered. “I heard Shilah fighting with one of them, and I panicked. I realized that I’d left him down there all alone…” A sob burst from her with unexpected force, all the emotion she’d suppressed for the past fourteen hours finally catching up with her. She stopped speaking, afraid that she wouldn’t be able to continue driving if she attempted to tell the rest.

“Pull over.” Rafe cradled her cheek in his hand, wiping away her tears with his thumb. “I can drive now.”

She didn’t argue. Even if he’d just woken up, she was exhausted and emotional and ready for a break. Steering the truck onto the side of the road, she shifted into park and unbuckled her seatbelt. Rafe put his hand on her back, coaxing her into another warm embrace. She held on tightly, greedy for the comfort. “When I went to help Shilah, there was a wolf on the ladder. He jumped up into the attic with me, and I shot him, but by that time the fight downstairs was over and Shilah was quiet. I had to deal with two more wolves before I found Shilah. He was in pretty rough shape. I spent the rest of the night cleaning his wounds and protecting him.” She shivered, then burrowed deeper into Rafe’s arms. “I’m so sorry. He needs to go to the vet. His leg is very badly injured.”

Rafe hugged her tighter. “Katie, look at him. He’s all right.” He waited for her to glance into the backseat at Shilah, then caressed the small of her back. “You were trying to protect me. He was protecting you. Nobody had bad intentions, and everybody got through the night alive. Am I happy that you put yourself in danger? Not really. But we’re all still in one piece, potentially because you did exactly what you did. I’d be a jerk to reprimand you now.” He fell silent, and they breathed together for a few moments. Then Rafe murmured, “Especially when I wouldn’t have listened to me, either. Not with my bond-mate in danger.”

His empathy triggered a fresh flood of tears. That he understood why she’d done what she had meant everything. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Rafe released her with a final squeeze. “Now trade seats with me.”

Katie climbed over him into the passenger seat, buckling the safety belt with shaky hands as he settled in behind the wheel. “Thanks for taking over. I’m so tired I’m ready to collapse.”

“I’ll bet.” Rafe shifted the truck into drive and pulled back onto the road, resuming their torturously slow pace. “You said you killed six wolves, but you’ve only told me about five. Was the last one after you found Shilah?”

“Yes. He surprised me when I went back to the kitchen to get the shotgun after I moved Shilah to the bathroom.” A chill shook her as she recalled their encounter. “It was the one who bit me. The one with Zeke. That was probably my closest call last night.”

The blood drained from Rafe’s face. “But you’re all right?”

“I will be.” Katie scooted over in her seat and rested her head against his shoulder. “How about you? How are you doing?”

“Happy to be alive.” Rafe kissed the crown of her head. “Sad for Cooper. Confused.”

She knew without asking. “About Susan.”

“Yeah.” He flexed his fingers on the steering wheel, jaw set in determination. “I’m ready to hear that part now.”

Katie exhaled, not sure she was ready to tell it. But they had hours of driving ahead of them, Rafe needed to know what had become of his first love, and there was no point in putting it off the telling just because she was afraid of how he might react. She couldn’t hide anything from him. She didn’t even want to try.

So she started, once again, from the beginning.