Something of a Kind

chapter 22 | NOAH

Sarah came in before dawn with a neon bottle covered with directions, explaining that she’d promised to return the favor. After they bickered about her being out of her neck brace, she reminded him he’d be out of work and for three weeks. Brief explanations and apologies were offered, along with a mutual covenant of, “Let’s not talk about it.”

He didn’t mention Lee’s possibly made -up revelation, especially when puzzle pieces infuriatingly pressed together in the few moments before he passed out the night before, dead until dawn. Sarah left her runaway attempt at a forced shrug and, “a momentary breakdown that will not be repeated or again attempted.” He knew they’d both end up prying the wounds open later.

He’d managed a half -in-half-out shower with an awkward shave. Dressed in a uniform button-up, half ripped and makeshift muscleshirt and shorts, the morning started with an edge of bad coffee batch and more confusion than when he’d fallen asleep. It wasn’t until he realized he would barely be able to pull his acoustic from the case that it occurred to him he wouldn’t be playing anytime soon. With the testiness of the old ladder, the widow’s walk would be an off-limits retreat for a while.

Sitting at the booth with his head in his free hand, Noah wondered how he managed to get out of bed, or why he bothered. Feeling part handicapped and part inhuman, all he really wanted at the moment was to drive to Aly’s.

Although the thought had slammed through his head for the fourth or fifth time, it still felt like a perfectly timed movie scene when Greg Glass’s SUV pulled into the spot beside his window. She shuffled to fill her arms with the random possessions she carried. Glancing up, she dropped some in her lap to smile and wave. He laughed as she scrambled to re-gather, eventually collecting herself and sliding out the door with her usual grace.

Parting the heavy doors with an encouraging smile, he made out the shapes of filled wrappers and beverages in her collection. Following his gaze, Aly explained, “So, I know this is a diner, best- breakfast-intown establishment and all… but I was thinking we should do breakfast.”

He laughed, straightening. “On the docks?”

“Perfection,” Aly grinned. “I’d ask for a hand, but it seems you’re already one short.”

He stood, ducking behind the counter to grab a paper bag and a cardboard holder. She dropped the sandwiches in, wedging what smelled like liquid divinity in a cup into each hole. Managing to balance in a one-elbow cradle, she edged her purse on one shoulder. After getting the door, he offered an arm and inquired, “Walk with me?”

“Always,” she promised.

As they made their way to the docks, he debated whether to bring up the issues wracking his brain senseless. Sitting on the very end of the pier, they sat, and she offered a mass of sandwiches, confessing, “I had no idea what to grab. I didn’t sleep last night and ended up driving until I found this little drivethrough place.”

He nodded, picking randomly. Following a silence as she sipped her coffee, his brow knitted. As thoughts tumbled through his head, Lee’s empty threats and Mary-Agnes refusing to meet his gaze earlier, he blurted, “Aly, when your mom died… how did you… how did you deal with something like that?”

She froze, taken aback. After a moment, her shoulders relaxed. Her words careful, she explained, “I don’t think you can really deal with something like that. You just take it one day at a time. I was really angry and really confused for a while. I eventually loosened up, and leaned really hard on my family. I tried not to think about it, like reading and watching lame movies until I kind of had to address it. When I needed to handle it on my own, I tried to find things that I was passionate about and poured all my… well, my everything into it. That painting was one of a hundred drafts. Painted, sketched… Then I realized I couldn’t let it carve out the inside of me forever, and no matter how much it hurt, I needed to focus on the life ahead of me, rearranging plans, preparing myself to live with Greg. I needed to function, so I woke up in pieces. I don’t know. I knew for a long time that she was dying though, before it happened. Maybe that changes things. Maybe it’s different for everybody.”

He absorbed her words, hoping they could clarify, illuminate the alleys so he didn’t have to guide himself by touching the walls anymore. The stars weren’t aligning, no pieces falling into place. Whatever he was looking for didn’t click.

Is Lee crazy? Is the liquor eating his brain? He seemed sober; though it’s possible he’d been drinking. As the years went on, it took higher intakes to get him to whatever level he sought. It had gotten to the point where some people didn’t notice. Was it possible he was telling the truth? Lee had always said he didn’t see Maria until she showed up around Sarah’s birth – and the way he made it sound, it meant Sarah was hers too. Lee and Mary-Agnes were in their sixties, always claiming Sarah and Noah were change-of-life babies, considering his youngest brother was thirteen when he was born. Did his biological mother drop them off as infants, three and a half years apart?

Did they really lie for so long? No… nothing here is making sense.

“How did you deal with Greg?”

She sighed. “I didn’t. Even yesterday, we were fighting. At the clinic, when he got home that night. He’s crazy – it’s like he thinks my mother was secretly obsessed with him and I’m doing her bidding according to my apparent direct line to the afterlife. Sometimes he forgets she’s dead. And to be frank, he seriously won’t shut up. Everything I do ticks him off. First of all, he still doesn’t believe me – and he’s as convinced of conspiracy as ever. He doesn’t want me anywhere near you, or his job, or him in general. He’s listing so many don’ts, I can’t figure out what he wants.”

He groaned, “That’s just ridiculous.”

Aly nodded, agreeing, “I know. I really think the only person who can change here is me. All I know is, there’s nothing I can do that makes him happy. So I’m going to let him get angry until he either ships me home or gives up.”

Anger clenched in his face, a sudden clarity in his befuddlement.

Why does this guy have to put her through so much crap? She’s got enough to deal with.

“Aly, just so you know, my offer still stands,” he added. “He and I can have a, uh, talk. Or I can kill him.”

“My response still stands.” She laughed, crossing her ankles. “It’s not necessary. I’d rather let him make himself miserable.”

“Yeah,” Noah murmured, staring hard at the surf. Imagining Tony getting just a few inches past the guardrail, he was filled with repugnance. Shaking it off, he found himself talking, unsure of the words coming out of his mouth. “…and he went on saying my mother was dead. When I asked him what he was talking about, because I was totally freaked something happened to Mary-Agnes, he just accused me of lying about knowing something. Then he kind of admitted that I wasn’t his kid and neither was Sarah. He said my aunt Maria is my mother and if I continue on this path I’m taking, I’m going to end up dead like she did.”

Aly listened intently, occasionally gasping or covering her mouth. Frozen with shock, she waited to ensure he was finished speaking before blurting, “That’s… Noah if I can offer… if I can help at all, I promise I… I just…” She paused; face twisting as though she arranged her thoughts. She sat her coffee down at her side and grabbed his hand, continuing, “I know this probably doesn’t mean anything, but I’m here for you. If you need anything…”

“It means everything, Aly,” he corrected, squeezing her hand. He realized his sandwich was still untouched, sitting on the wrapper in his lap. Chewing his cheek, he added, “It’s just… I’m kind of mad about it. It’s like I’m filled with all this rage, but it doesn’t really feel like anything’s changed even though everything has. I keep waiting for someone to say that’s it’s a joke or Lee’s lost it but no one’s denying anything because they can’t even talk to me. I’m trying how to remember how to feel real.” Glancing sideways, “And I’m really sorry.”

She raised an eyebrow. “About what?”

He began, “About my dad-”

Aly blinked. “Wait. He told you what he said?”

“What? Wait, what did he say?”

She shook her head, waving it off. “Never mind. I miss understood you.”

“Aly-”

“It’s not important. What were you talking about?”

“I meant him causing issues with your dad,” he finished, undeterred. “Aly, what did he say?”

“Noah…” she hesitated, biting her lip. Almost inaudibly, she said, “Noah, if it’s going to resolve issues with your father, or well, your uncle, I guess? If it will make things better foryou…”

He frowned. “Aly, what are you talking about?”

“…I’m willing to… if it helps, I can leave. Like, leave you alone.”

Fear clenched in his gut, a shocking amount of panic flooding through his stomach. “Why would think that would make anything better?”

“Lee just…” she sighed, noting the insistence in his expression. “I think he was just being… weird. He said I belong on the outside, and I should stay away from you.”

“He what?”

She added quickly, “I think he was just upset because you got hurt.”

“It's t he damn legend. It's all hyped up from the old yore lore and all that crap. I've taken worse than this. He’s dealt worse than this. He didn’t have-"

“Noah,” she whispered, staring at her feet as they extended, straightening above the surf. “I don’t mean to talk about any ‘wants’ of mine, but… I don’t want to add to the growing list of things you have to deal with. I don’t want to be a problem. Especially not for you.”

“Aly, I already have problems. Plenty. Yours are the ones I want to have,” he argued, peering through the hair hiding her face. “Don’t be afraid of being interesting.”

She laughed, almost forced, tucking a lock behind her ear, exposing her cheek. “Interesting has never been my problem.”

“No, Aly, you are not the problem at all. You have never been the problem,” he insisted, offering a free hand. She took it in hers, tracing the snake curling around his wrist.

“Rebirth,” she murmured, sounding absent.

“I don’t know what Lee’s problem is, but I don’t care,” he said. “Promise me you’re not going anywhere.”

“I promise,” she echoed, leaning in as he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close and kissing her forehead.

He said, “So what about the videos?”

Aly groaned. “I think I dropped the camera.”

“Look again,” he replied. “I’ve got a feeling about it.”

Looking up, she smiled. “A feeling, huh?” The week flowed through his head, overwhelmed by a montage of memories louder than the surf at their feet. Peering into her ice blue eyes, Noah replied, “Agh. Plenty.”