Chapter Thirty-Five
“Come sit here by me, son, I have something to tell you,” Silas said. He took a seat in one of the tufted chairs in Joshua’s room and pulled another close to him. Joshua plopped tiredly down, ready for bed. He had eaten his surfeit at supper after an hour of play while luggage was carried to their rooms. His expression had wondered why certain of his belongings had been brought along, but he had not inquired further. Joshua assumed they were staying in the hotel for only a week while the train replenished supplies and made repairs. Two shocks were coming to the boy. One could wait until later. Silas had decided to deal first with the one he considered more important.
“Yes, Papa?”
Silas leaned forward to engage Joshua’s droopy attention. “I’ve kept something from you because I believed you would not understand. You may not understand now, but you will later when you’re older.”
Joshua listened with drowsy interest. Silas continued. “Jessica is more than your friend, son. She is my wife and your stepmother. We were married at Willowshire in January.”
Joshua came alert. “You and Jessica are married? But you don’t act married, like Grandmother and Grandfather used to.”
“I know. That’s why I won’t be sharing your room tonight. I will be with…my wife next door. That’s what married people do. They…sleep together. Tippy will be in her room, right next to yours if you need anything.”
Joshua’s brow wrinkled. “If Jessica is my stepmother, does that mean she will be only half a mother? She won’t love me as much as a whole one?”
“No, that’s not what that means at all, son,” Silas said, drawing the boy onto his lap. “Jessica loves you with her whole heart, I can tell. You were not born to her, but by Jessica becoming my wife, you become her son.”
“My real mother died long ago when I was born, didn’t she?”
“That’s right.”
“She never had a chance to love me.”
“No, she didn’t,” Silas said, his throat tightening. Tenderly, he attempted to subdue a cowlick on the soft crown of his son’s head.
“But Jessica will make up for it.”
“I have no doubt.”
“And she can still be my friend?”
“Forever and always. That’s what she promised, and I figure her for a woman who keeps her promises.”
“Will she let me call her Mother, like my friends do theirs?”
“I’m sure she’d like that very much.”
“I would really like a mother.”
All at once, to Silas’s surprise, Joshua scooted out of his lap to stand facing him between his knees. He clasped his father’s face with both hands to ensure his attention. “Papa…” he said, staring hard into Silas’s eyes.
Amused, Silas said, “Yes, son?”
“Promise me you won’t take me away from Jessica like you did from Lettie and Grandmother and Uncle Morris.”
Silas felt tears burn his eyes. He lifted his son back into his lap and held him tightly. “I promise, Joshua. We will keep Jessica with us forever if she will stay.”
So it was done, Jeremy thought. By tomorrow, Silas and Jessica would be husband and wife. Jeremy had heard his instructions to the innkeeper, and had drawn Silas aside out of earshot of the others.
“Tell me to mind my own business, if you like,” he’d said, “but I must ask. Did you mean what I think you meant about sharing a room with Jessica, or was that said for the sake of appearances?”
“I meant it.”
“What changed your mind?”
“I took your advice and read her diary.”
“Ah. I see.”
“I hope you do, Jeremy. You were right. Jessica is attracted to me, and I’ve come to care for her. Neither of us yet know where our feelings will lead, but I want to do right by her. I want to make her happy if possible.”
Jeremy had clasped his friend’s shoulder. “I’ve no doubt you will, my friend. I wish you every happiness. My best to you both.”
Jeremy was happy for Silas, he really was. His friend didn’t deserve Jessica, having gained her in the way he did, but Silas would grow to love her—never as much as his plantation, but close enough. Silas’s remark, I hope you do, Jeremy, had let him know that Jessica was his. Jeremy could put aside his private hope that Jessica might fall into his hands. That possibility was now not likely to be. A pity. He would have set his slaves free for Jessica’s sake. She was an extraordinary person who had won his admiration more by the day. Now there was nothing for it but for him and the woman he would gladly have married to become the greatest of friends.
“How did you know I’d be…willing,” Jessica asked as Silas unbuttoned the last obstacle to the other barriers in the way of their mutual desire. Jessica stood still while his hands did their work.
“I read your diary,” he said.
“What?”
He kissed her astonished mouth. “While you were sleeping,” Silas said afterwards while her lids were still closed in pleasure. He kissed them, too. “Thank God I did. I would have continued under the delusion you hated me.”
Her eyes flew open. “I tried to. I don’t know why I don’t.”
The corset was next, followed by a camisole. “I don’t for the life of me know either,” Silas said, unlacing the ribbons that held the garment together. “I shall do my best to give you no reason to as…a husband.”
The gentle implication was clear. Jessica accepted it. He might give her cause to despise him as a slave owner, but as her husband, her lover—how could she hate a man who filled her with such physical longing?
The corset fell away, and Silas pulled the camisole over Jessica’s head. “Dear God,” he said in awe at the second sight of her exposed breasts.
“I’ll do the rest,” Jessica said, hurriedly stepping out of the petticoats and her pantalets. Watching her, Silas untied the sash to his dressing robe, and it dropped to the floor. He touched her bandage.
“Are you sure you’re well enough for this?”
“I’m well enough,” she said, giving him her hand, and Silas took it and led her to the bed.