That, I hoped, would be true.
“Just to say, not to take any of the blame off Pippa, who deserves it—” I started.
“You kinda made that clear,” he interrupted me and I heard humor in his tone, which gave me hope.
“Yeah, I definitely did that,” I agreed. “But anyway, during our chat in my bedroom, Ash shared that the struggles she’s experiencing aren’t just about being picked on at school. It’s about her mom.”
“No offense, but no shit, Amy.”
I took no offense and soldiered on, hesitantly, “Also looking after her mom in the way you did when you were married, hiding it from Cillian.”
There was a moment’s silence then a soft, wounded, “Fuck.”
I hated to have to go on but this was his girl so I couldn’t hold back.
“And me.”
“Come again?”
“The reason for the shopping trip. The change in your circumstances your ex-wife who you loved, who also loved you, would react to.” I explained.
“Fuckin’ great,” he muttered.
“I think Rhiannon is adjusting to that,” I told him, thinking I didn’t want to go back on my promise to Rhiannon but I could no longer hold back in sharing what could give the Donovans some hope after all that had spilled out that day.
So I was setting up to tell him his ex had made the colossal step toward recovery…for her kids.
“You guys sittin’ at my bar, drinkin’ tea, think you’re right,” he agreed.
“Ash wanted her mom to know I was cool,” I kept explaining. “I think she wanted her to know that everyone was moving on and it was good and she was trying to make it so her mom moved on with the rest of us.”
Mickey didn’t say anything.
“Anyway, how was the visit with Rhiannon?” I asked, hoping he’d give me a natural lead in to share about his ex-wife.
“Get this, the woman is in AA.”
My mouth dropped open before I used it to ask, “I’m sorry?”
“Obviously had to have a word with her to tell her what was up with Ash and the shit Cillian spewed. Took her out outside to chat. Told her what went down and what was said. Thought that would be yet another fantastic conversation for this stellar Thanksgiving.”
I closed my eyes again.
I opened them when he went on, “She then tells me she’s been in AA for a while, it’s goin’ good, she hasn’t had a drink since the night of town council meeting, and if I’m good with it, we can share that with the kids.”
This was great.
“Did you?” I asked.
“Yeah. Cillian didn’t know what to do with it and neither of them did cartwheels, but Rhiannon didn’t expect that. She knows she’s got things to prove and that’s gonna be a long haul. But it was somethin’. She never admitted to having a problem. Now the woman’s in AA?” He paused before finishing, “It was definitely something.”
“I should tell you,” I began carefully. “She shared this with me at Bed Bath and Beyond.”
“Say again?”
“She told me she was in recovery. She didn’t put pressure on for me not to tell you but she did say she wanted to do it herself. Since it’s hers, I agreed.”
He was silent a second.
I fretted that second.
Then he said, “Since you and me got a future, you two gotta establish your own relationship and with that comes trust. Sucks she put you in that position but you probably made the right decision for her.”
I liked his mention about us having a future but I still asked, “Was it the right decision for you?”
“Guess if your ex came and shared somethin’ important with me that affects you and your kids that he didn’t want to share with you. Somethin’ I know might strain things between him and me when we all gotta try to keep shit loose and good. Somethin’ I know might strain things between you and me. I got no good choice. Then he shares it with you a few weeks later. If that ever happens, I’ll be able to answer if it was right or not.”
“Are things…strained?” I pushed.
“Babe, you didn’t keep her secret for eternity.” I could hear the grin in his voice. “Relax.”
“Hard to relax after this day,” I told him.
“No shit,” he replied.
“Are we okay?” I asked.
“Amy.” He said my name, said nothing for very long, terrifying moments, then he gave me what I needed. “I love you. I told you that. I meant it. I meant it in a way you needed to know so you’d know I want a part in your future, which means you definitely got your part in mine. You gave that back to me, tellin’ me you want the same thing. We had a rocky day. We’re fucked if we can’t get through the first rocky day we have together and do it whole.”
I slid down the bed and rolled to my side, curling up like I could curl his words into me.
“Amy?” he called when I didn’t say anything.
“I’m here.”