She was saying what I thought she was saying!
She shook her head, looked over my shoulder, then back at me. “It’s not enough. But there’s a community center in Fullham. It’s a drive but they have meetings on Monday evenings and Saturday afternoons. I don’t have a sponsor yet or anything, but there are folks who go who’ve been in recovery a lot longer than me who have given me their numbers so I can call if things get…if they get…hairy.”
I held my breath.
“I haven’t had a drink since I met you that Friday,” she announced.
Oh my God.
How fabulous!
“Rhiannon, that’s wonderful,” I told her, wanting to reach out and grab her hand but knowing that wasn’t where we were so I didn’t.
“It’s hard. Seriously hard. The hardest thing I’ve ever done,” she told me.
“I’m sure,” I said quietly.
“But it’s the best thing I ever did, except making beautiful babies.”
I nodded.
She was so right.
“Are you…have you…do the kids know?” I asked.
“Mom isn’t pouring and I figure they noticed it. But officially, not yet,” she answered.
“Mickey?” I asked.
“I don’t want to ask you to keep secrets but I’d like to tell him myself. I intend to do this soon so it isn’t like you have to keep it from him forever. I just wanted some time and to stay on track for a while before I shared.” She took a breath and carried on, “And the important thing right now isn’t me. It’s seeing to Aisling. When things are better with her, I’ll explain the process to the kids.”
I nodded again. Though I thought that her sharing that might help things get better with Ash, it wasn’t my recovery and it wasn’t my place to give my opinion.
And I wasn’t entirely certain why she was telling me and intended to wait to tell those a far sight closer to her. But it was hers to give to who she thought it was right to give. This had to be a process and she didn’t seem to be winging it. Maybe I was step one, a person who was on the edges of her life who, not in a bad way, didn’t really matter. Maybe I was a practice run. The beginning of the rest.
And if that was the case, I had to make it as smooth and positive as possible.
“I’m happy for you. For the kids. For Mickey even,” I said and gave her an encouraging smile. “This is really great, Rhiannon.”
“I want to make sure, to be good for a while, just in case I…I don’t want to get their hopes up.”
That I understood.
“I get you,” I told her.
“So it isn’t much but my Ash having nice bed stuff to make her smile, it’s something.”
We were full circle and it was quite a journey to take unexpectedly in Bed Bath and Beyond.
But I was honored to be on it.
Even so, I had to note, “You’re right. It’s just…Mickey.”
I said no more but she knew Mickey so she understood me.
“I’ll call him so he knows we’re sticking to his budget and the bed stuff is from me.”
“That’s a good plan.”
“I’ll do that now,” she murmured, bending her head and digging into her purse. She got her phone out and looked to me. “I’ll just wander and do that. When she gets back, you’ll help Aisling get her stuff? Two sets of sheets. It’s no good for laundry day with just one.”
“We’ll take care of it,” I assured her.
She nodded and gave me a small smile before she wandered off, phone to her ear.
I started amassing the stuff Aisling would need, piling it on the bed display. Surprisingly, it took some time before Aisling arrived with another cart.
I looked to her. “Hey, blossom.”
“I’m sorry. I stopped because I saw these.” She lifted up a plastic tray, one of several she had in her cart. “I know it isn’t decorating so I’ll use my own money to buy them, but I thought they’d be good to organize my makeup. You know, to get it off my dresser.”
I smiled at her, wishing I could buy them for her and thinking, next time something like this happened, I’d get a budget from Mickey as to how much he’d let me splurge to spoil his girl. Even if it was twenty dollars, I’d get to have fun and I’d get to give her something.
But bottom line, it was brilliant she was interested in what we were doing and going so far as to consider adding organizing to our project.
“Great idea,” I said. “Those’ll be perfect.”
Her lips tipped up and her eyes wandered. “Where’s Mom?”
“Getting the go-ahead from your dad to spoil you with fabulous bed linens.”
Her eyes shot back to me. “Do you think he’ll mind?”
“Not even a little bit,” I told her. “But, they should be on the same page with this project, don’t you think?”
That settled her in a variety of ways. I knew it from the look in her eyes, the expression on her face and even in her body language.
She liked her mom and dad talking. She wanted them on the same page. She wanted more, to go back in time and have what they had before life tore their family apart.
But she’d take this.