Slow No Wake

SIX

Unhooked

All day Sunday, I stayed holed up in my apartment, drowning my sorrows in several pints of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Therapy ice cream. I had no idea what was going to happen when I had to see Daniel at work on Monday. I wondered if I should even call him Daniel. His friends called him Danny or Danny-O. I wasn’t sure if he’d even consider me a friend anymore. Or if I ever was one.

I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Eddie again either but I was sure it was inevitable. He lived next door. And we worked together. I didn’t think the chemistry between us was going to subside any time soon. I thought about having sex with him, just so he’d leave me alone. He did say that he didn’t do two-night stands. But I didn’t know how I’d face Daniel again if he knew Eddie and I were intimate with each other.

Maybe the best course of action was to minimize contact with both of them. I could treat them as I did any other co-worker. That was a plan consistent with my no wake zone policy. And it was the only thing that made sense in my chocolate induced state of mind.

***

I spent Monday morning, sitting in my office, staring at the wall. I wasn’t expecting to hear from Daniel about lunch and I didn’t. A twinge of sadness shot through my heart as I thought about the possibility that we would never go out again. My heart cracked a little when I considered the possibility that I would never get to hold his rough hands or kiss his soft lips again. I guess I really had gotten my wish. Peace, serenity and celibacy. No men in my no wake zone. If that’s what I truly wanted, why did it hurt so much?

I sat on the bench near the pond closest to the waterfall. I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to clear my mind. I heaved a sigh. Then I heard a male voice say, “Mind if I join you?”

I opened my eyes and saw Ricky looking down at me. He grinned. “Meditating?” he asked.

“Something like that,” I responded.

“May I sit down?”

“Sure.”

Ricky took a seat next to me. “How are you doing?”

I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to reveal to Ricky. I knew he was friends with Daniel, and probably Eddie.

“I was kite surfing with the guys yesterday,” he said.

I raised an eyebrow. I guess I didn’t have to worry about revealing anything to him. It sounded like he already knew.

He continued. “Things were a little tense.”

“Am I to assume the tension had something to do with me?” I asked.

“You are a shrewd therapist,” he commented.

I opened my lunch box and examined the contents. Ham and cheese bagel sandwich with chips and a pickle. I wasn’t hungry anymore. Not even for the pickle. I closed the box.

“They both like you,” Ricky said.

“I didn’t know they were roommates. Obviously. I wasn’t even aware that they knew each other.”

He gave me a cold stare. “Does that make it any better? You were still playing a dangerous game.”

“I don’t think it really matters at this point, Ricky. I don’t plan on going out with either one of them again. Not that I was ever going out with Eddie. He kind of pushed his way into my life. And I don’t think Daniel ever wants to see me again.”

Ricky gave a single laugh. “That’s what you think? Eddie doesn’t give up until he gets what he wants. And he really wants you. Badly. Daniel has absolutely fallen for you, but the problem is that he doesn’t think he can ever compete with Eddie, because Eddie has always gotten the girls.”

I didn’t know what to say. I certainly didn’t want to be the reason for tension between roommates and best friends. “And what do you suggest I do?”

“It’s not a counselor’s place to give advice. I only wanted to help clarify the situation. It’s up to you to figure out what to do about it.”

“So you’re my counselor now?”

He grinned. “Only in an unofficial capacity.”

I shook my head. “I really have no idea what to do.”

“I will tell you this. You can’t have both. Eddie and Danny share a lot of things, but I don’t think they’d be willing to share you.”

“I’ll take that under advisement,” I said.

Ricky stood up. “Okay, well, I’ll let you get back to your lunch then.”

“Thanks,” I said, as Ricky headed off toward the main building.

I guess I never actually believed I could have either Eddie or Daniel. Forget about having both.

The rest of the day went by like a blur. I saw clients and typed notes in their case files but my mind was on Eddie and Daniel. I still had no idea what I was going to do. My father, who was an amateur philosopher, always told me and my sister, if we didn’t know what to do, we should just do nothing. It was as good of a plan as any, I supposed.

***

That evening, I half expected there to be a knock on the door but there wasn’t. I was starting to doubt what Ricky had said about both Eddie and Daniel wanting me. If they did, they both had an odd way of showing it. They were completely ignoring me.

I went to bed early and thought about Daniel and our kiss near the beach. I wondered how his rough hands would feel on my breasts and hips and stomach and thighs. I thought about feeling his tender kiss on my lips and neck and the sensitive spot behind my ears.

Then my mind flashed to Eddie. I imagined him pushing his way through my door, grabbing my ass and lifting me up so I was straddling him, then pushing me up against the wall. He would slam his lips into mine and kiss me hard and rough, his calloused hands on my thighs. There would be a hard edge to everything he did and everything he wanted me to do.

Stop!

How could I fantasize about two guys in one night? Especially when they were roommates and especially when they lived next door. They were both so different but it was the differences that seemed to attract me to each of them.

I was in big trouble.

***

I wasn’t looking forward to the staff meeting the next day because I would be forced to sit in a room with Daniel for an entire hour. And seeing him for the first time since the incident on Saturday night would probably be anywhere from awkward to extremely uncomfortable.

I decided the best strategy would be to get to the meeting room early and have my choice of seats. I arrived ten minutes early and to my surprise, Daniel was already seated in the room. His eyes were closed and he was rubbing his temples with his fingers.

I cleared my throat so Daniel would realize he was no longer alone. When he looked up at me, I noticed his eyes had dark circles under them. He looked haggard. Still sexy but also weary. My stomach clenched at the thought of me causing him so much anguish.

“Hi,” Daniel said so softly it was nearly inaudible.

“Hi,” I replied.

“Do you mind if I sit down next to you?” I asked.

He hesitated then nodded. I wasn’t sure if that meant he minded or if he was okay with me sitting next to him. I should have asked a better question.

I sat down anyway and he didn’t protest. It took a minute for Daniel to look at me, but when he finally did, his eyes were filled with pain.

“I’m really sorry,” I said. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. Shit. The last thing I wanted was to start crying at work.

Daniel slowly lifted his hand to my face and wiped the tears from my eyes. His rough skin tickled my cheeks just a bit. “Please don’t cry,” he whispered.

I tried to stifle the inevitable sobs that I knew were coming. Once the tear floodgates opened, I usually turned into a sobbing mass.

“Stand up,” Daniel said.

Without questioning it, I stood. Then he stood up next to me and wrapped me in a tight embrace.

“The rest of the staff will be here soon,” I whispered.

“I don’t care,” he whispered back. “Right this moment, this is the only thing I care about.”

Before my mind had time to register exactly what was happening, Daniel’s lips were on mine. His soft kisses quickly turned more urgent and needy. His breathing quickened as his mouth became greedier and more hungry. We may have ripped each other’s clothes off if we hadn’t been in the middle of a meeting room at work. And if the rest of the staff was due to join us…right now.

We were interrupted by the sounds of the twins’ voices as they entered the room arguing. Daniel jumped away from me and we both tried to quickly compose ourselves.

I don’t know how much the twins actually saw, but when I glanced over at them, they were both wide-eyed. That couldn’t be good.

I took a seat at the far end of the table, opposite Daniel. I tried my best not to look over at him, but the pull toward him overwhelmed my rational mind.

I could see that Daniel’s breathing was still heavy and he had pure desire in his eyes. I nearly melted in my chair, the chemistry between us was so palpable.

When I looked over at the twins, their eyes were darting between the two of us. I knew then that I would have to tell them what was going on—everything that was going on. I needed someone to confide it. That role used to be my sister’s, but since I no longer had a sister, I hoped the twins would be willing to listen and not judge. And hopefully not gossip, either.

The meeting was long. The hour felt like three, especially with Daniel undressing me with his eyes. I barely even remembered what Tom was talking about. It was a new type of treatment for people with autism, which we were seeing much more of at the facility. I would have to look it up on the internet later. It was so hard to focus on anything but Daniel, and his rough hands and soft lips.

The only thing that finally got my attention was when Tom said that the outpatient therapy team would be going through a Ropes Challenge Course training together as a team building exercise. The twins, Brad, Daniel, Ricky and I would be spending an entire day outside engaging in physical, mental and emotional challenges. And guess who would be our Ropes Challenge Course facilitator?

Eddie LaRoche.

Great. Just what a girl dreams about. Spending the day with BOTH of the guys, she’s attracted to and sort of involved with. Just the way I wanted to spend one of my days at work. Could anything be more embarrassing? I had always been a terrible liar, but calling in sick for that day seemed like a terrific plan.

After the meeting, Trinity and Serenity cornered me. They each grabbed one of my elbows and pulled me into the office they shared. Serenity made sure the door was closed and locked behind us.

“Spill,” Trinity said before we even had a chance to sit down.

I heaved a sigh as I sat down in one of the client chairs. Trinity and Serenity took their therapist chairs. The two of them gawked at me until I spoke.

“It’s probably obvious that Daniel and I have been seeing each other,” I said cautiously.

“I think everyone in the staff meeting could feel the energy between the two of you,” Serenity said.

“And the two of you were eye f*cking again,” Trinity said.

“Well, things are a little strained between us at the moment,” I said.

Trinity let out a laugh. “You call that strained?”

I continued. “We went out on a date Saturday night and things were going really well until he walked me home and we discovered that we were next door neighbors. And I may have been, well, kind of seeing his roommate, who I didn’t actually know was his roommate.”

The twins went wide-eyed. “What does kind of seeing mean?” Serenity asked.

“I sort of kissed him,” I said.

Trinity frowned. “How do you sort of kiss someone? Seems to me your lips touch or they don’t. Kind of like being sort of pregnant. You either are or you’re not.”

She had a point. I guess I just didn’t want to admit I had actually let Eddie kiss me. Especially after I had just kissed Daniel.

“And are we to assume that you also kissed Daniel at some point during your date?” Serenity asked.

“That would be a fair assumption,” I admitted.

Trinity grinned. “You little slut.”

“I’m not a slut,” I protested. “Am I?”

“Well, you did kiss two guys, roommates, on the same night,” Serenity said.

It sounded a lot worse when Serenity said it. “I am a slut,” I said, resigning myself to the term.

“What now?” Serenity asked. “You’re not going to continue seeing both of them, are you?”

The fact that she even had to ask the question should have told me I was going down a dangerous road.

“I’d like to see where things lead with Daniel,” I said. “But Eddie is very persistent and persuasive.”

Trinity looked at her sister then looked at me. “Why can’t Lexie see both of them?”

Serenity’s eyes narrowed. “You can’t be serious.”

“Think about it. She’s not hiding anything from them. It’s not like she’d be cheating on either of them. They live together. They’ll both know exactly what’s going on.”

Serenity shook her head. “I don’t think it will work. Eventually, someone will get jealous or hurt. Would you want to be the one to come between two friends?”

Both of the twins made excellent points.

“I just don’t think there is any reason to make a premature decision,” Trinity said. “You may need to gather more information, if you know what I mean.”

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea for her to sleep with both of them,” Serenity said.

“I’m a firm believer in the old saying that you shouldn’t put a down payment on a car until you’ve taken it for a test drive,” Trinity said.

“You may change your opinion when I tell you that Daniel’s roommate is Mr. LaRoche.”

Both Trinity and Serenity gasped. “You’ve been seeing Mr. LaRoche?” They asked in unison.

“I didn’t actually know he was Mr. LaRoche until Saturday night,” I said in my defense, although technically, he kissed me after I found out.

Trinity shook her head. “That changes everything. As gorgeous and charming as he may be, he’s nothing but trouble.”

“How did we not know that Daniel lived with Mr. LaRoche?” Serenity added.

“Daniel doesn’t like to talk about it, for obvious reasons,” I said.

“So, it’s settled then,” Trinity said. “You’ll date Daniel and tell Mr. LaRoche to kiss your lovely butt goodbye.”

If only it was that simple.

I smiled and stood. “Thanks for letting me vent,” I said as I headed to the door.

“We just want to see you happy,” Serenity said.

“And we’d love to see Mr. LaRoche get knocked down a few notches,” Trinity added.

***

When I got back to my office, I was still teeming with emotional energy and just as confused as ever. But maybe the twins were right and I should let go of the idea that anything of substance would ever materialize with Eddie. He was obviously just a player, who wanted to add me to his list of conquests. Better to head down the road with Daniel to see if there was any chance of a real relationship developing between us.

I heard my cell phone beep and saw a new text from Daniel.

I need to see you. Can we have lunch together?

I texted back, Sure.

I’ll come to your office.

***

A few minutes before noon, Daniel entered my office. “Are you ready for lunch?” he asked.

I nodded and rose from my chair.

“I’d like to take you to a restaurant instead of eating here,” he said. “If that’s okay.”

“That would be great,” I said as we headed out the door. I was glad there would be no chance of accidently running into Eddie.

The downtown place was a little hole in the wall.

“It’s better than it looks,” Daniel whispered to me as we entered the rundown diner.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

There were only ten tables in the entire restaurant and only three of them were occupied. Not very good business for the lunch hour. We took a seat in the back corner, where it was a little more secluded.

“A buddy of mine owns the place,” Daniel said. “I try to support him whenever I can.”

He handed me one of the menus that was sitting on the table and opened the other one.

“What’s good here?” I asked.

“My favorite is the grown-up grilled cheese sandwich with coleslaw.” He grinned. “It comes with a pickle.”

“The pickle really sold it.” I smiled as I closed the menu.

Daniel grabbed both of my hands in his and looked into my eyes. His expression was serious. “I know we haven’t known each other very long, but I want you to know that I really like you. I hope you’ll give me the chance to get to know you better.”

“I’d like that,” I responded.

He squeezed my hands. Then he gave me his smile that lit up the room. I didn’t think I could ever get tired of his smile.

He looked like he had more to say, so I waited. He bit his bottom lip and it just about drove me crazy. All I could think about was kissing him again. I hoped I’d get the chance. Sooner rather than later.

“I know I can’t ask you not to see Eddie. I wish I could. But it’s your decision.” His expression turned more serious. “I realize I can’t compete with him. I never could. Whatever Eddie wants, Eddie always gets, especially when it comes to women. I know the first person you’ll always see is him. Every woman sees Eddie first. But when you look further into your future, I hope you’ll see me.”

My chest tightened and my heart skipped a few beats. At that moment, Daniel was the only guy I saw. He was the only guy I wanted to see.

He drew my hand to his lips and placed one of his soft kisses on my knuckles. When our eyes met, my breath hitched.

“Will you go out with me Saturday night?” he asked.

“I’d love to,” I answered.

A short and stocky guy, wearing a chef’s apron, approached the table. He had short dark hair and dark eyes and was very tan. “Hey, Danny-O.” The guy said. “What’s going on?”

The guy sounded like he had just stepped out of Jersey Shore.

When the guy finally noticed me sitting with Daniel, he got a strange look on his face. “Is this the girl?”

The way he said ‘the girl’ made me sound like one of America’s Most Wanted.

Daniel cringed. “This is Lexie,” he introduced. “Lexie, this is my buddy, Joey-G.”

Joey-G put out a hand. “Hey, Lexie, glad to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Daniel gulped and it made me wonder what exactly he had heard about me.

“So, you and Eddie going up the coast this weekend?” Joey-G asked.

Daniel shook his head. “No, man. I’ve got a date with this lovely lady Saturday night.”

“You gotta come, Danny. The wind and waves there can’t be missed. Bring Lexie with you. I bet she’d love it up North.”

Daniel looked very uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was now taking.

“Why don’t you go with your friends, Daniel,” I offered. “We can go out another time.”

Daniel looked like I had just slapped him. He looked down at our hands for a few seconds then looked back up at me. “Have you ever been farther north? The Tampa Bay area?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“Would you like to go this weekend?” he asked. I could hear the hesitation in his voice.

“I would like to,” I said, without realizing what I was getting myself into.

Daniel smiled. “It’ll be fun.”

Joey-G slapped Daniel’s back. “It’s gonna be a great weekend. The boys are all back in town.”

I gulped. As much as I wanted Daniel to be happy, I wondered what it would be like spending the weekend with Eddie, too. Yipes!

Joey-G took our orders and promised the grilled cheese was going to be ‘to die for’ and he didn’t lie. The lunch was delicious, especially the pickle.

***

When I got back to my office, there was an email from Mr. LaRoche.

TO: Alexandria Wilkens

FROM: Edward LaRoche

SUBJECT: Client Issue

Alexandria – I believe you have been assigned as the primary therapist to one of the students in my science class. I am having some issues with this student and I would like to discuss them with you. Would it be possible for you to stop by the science classroom this afternoon after four, when the students are released for the day?

Thank you – Mr. LaRoche



I emailed him back.

TO: Edward LaRoche

FROM: Alexandria Wilkens

SUBJECT: RE: Client Issue

Mr. LaRoche – I would be happy to meet with you regarding a student issue. I get off at 4:30.

Sincerely – Lexie Wilkens



I received an email back.

TO: Alexandria Wilkens

FROM: Edward LaRoche

SUBJECT: RE: Client Issue

I definitely want to be there when you get off. ;) See you at 4:30.

Ugh. I stepped right into that one. And why did I have the feeling that Eddie really didn’t want to see me about a student?

The lights were out in the science room when I entered. What little illumination the room had, came through the slats of the blinds that weren’t completely drawn.

I saw Eddie sitting at his desk with his eyes closed. Was he meditating? Taking a nap?

“Mr. LaRoche,” I called out as I walked over to his desk.

He opened his eyes and stared at me. “Alexandria, thanks for agreeing to meet me.”

“So why didn’t you tell me you were a science teacher?”

He gave me a sly grin. “You never asked.”

“Mr. LaRoche doesn’t have a very good reputation with female staff members,” I chided.

“Eddie doesn’t have a good reputation with females either,” he countered.

“At least you’re consistent.”

He rose from his desk. “Let me show you something.”

I met his gaze and our eyes locked for a moment. “You really didn’t have to talk to me about a student, did you?”

He grabbed my elbow. “Come with me.”

Eddie led me toward the back of the room. He unlocked a door and pulled me into a dark storage area. A bit of light was seeping into the small space from under the doorframe. I could barely make out the contents of the shelves, which seemed to be lined with textbooks and an assortment of chemistry equipment. The small space had the faint odor of chemicals, which made me feel like I was in high school again. I just hoped there weren’t any old dissecting pigs nearby.

“What are we doing in here?” I snapped.

Eddie flipped on a small overhead light. “I wanted to talk to you and I wanted to make sure we had some privacy.”

I folded my arms in front of my chest. “You couldn’t wait until this evening? You could have just barged into my apartment and made yourself at home on my couch. That would have been just like old times and very private.”

“Danny-O changed his work hours. He’s no longer doing any night shifts.”

I could feel my eyes go wide. “Why?”

He cocked his head to one side and smirked. “Why do you think?”

I had an idea of why, but I wanted Eddie to say it. “I have no idea,” I lied.

“Danny-O wants Eddie to play nice and stay away from his girlfriend.”

“But what about his internship hours?” I asked with growing concern. I didn’t want Daniel to jeopardize his graduate degree and his career prospects just to keep Eddie away from me.

He shrugged. “I guess Tom’s going to switch his internship to a morning shift instead.”

I breathed a small sigh of relief, then I looked into Eddie’s eyes. “You realize I’m not Daniel’s girlfriend. We just started dating.”

“And do you realize that everyone who’s close to him calls him Danny?”

I could feel anger starting to bubble inside. Eddie had a way of doing that to me. How could someone be so infuriating and so attractive at the same time? “Daniel has never told me to call him anything else but Daniel,” I said through gritted teeth.

“That’s because he would never say anything to rock that cute little Love Boat you’re now both sailing on. He doesn’t want to lose you. He would do anything not to lose you.”

“How do you know that?” I seethed.

“Because I know Danny-O. He’s like a brother.”

I pointed an angry finger at Eddie. “This is the way you treat someone so close? Someone, who you say is like a brother? You bring his girlfriend into a dark closest to…to…whatever it is you think we’re going to do in here?” I was getting so enraged, I could feel my hands shaking.

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Is that a proposition?”

“No, that’s not a proposition. What’s wrong with you?”

Eddie shrugged. “What do you want me to say? That I’m a good person? An honest person? A decent person? Do you want me to say that I wouldn’t screw my best friend’s girlfriend? Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m none of those things.” He got so close to my face, I could feel his breath. “I’d f*ck you in a heartbeat and enjoy every minute of it. I know it would break Danny’s heart and I’d still do it.”

I felt like all the breath had been sucked from my body. The small space we were in suddenly felt even smaller, as if the walls were closing in on us. I just needed to escape. I needed to get as far away from Eddie as I could get.

“I’ve got to go,” I said as I turned to leave.

He grabbed my elbow and spun me around to face him. His eyes were ablaze. “You’re not little Miss Innocent either. If you care so much about Danny, what are you doing here with me?”

I tried to pull my elbow from Eddie’s grasp but he just held tighter. “You told me we were meeting about a student,” I hissed.

“And you believed that?” Eddie’s gaze bored into me. “I don’t think so. You wanted to be here just as much as I did.”

Fury was now raging though my body. I tried to wriggle from Eddie’s grip but he wouldn’t let me go.

“Just tell me you don’t want me,” he said. “If you look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want me, I’ll leave you and Danny alone to live happily ever after.”

I tried to speak, but the words got caught in my throat. All I had to say were four little words: I don’t want you. But I couldn’t say them. I didn’t know what it was about Eddie, but I just couldn’t let him go. It was like he had some kind of hold on me that I just couldn’t break. On the surface, he was a self-absorbed a*shole, who didn’t seem to care about anyone but himself. But I knew there was more than what lie on the surface. Much more. There was something deeper inside. There was an Eddie that he didn’t let others see. That was the Eddie I wanted. And as much as I wanted to be with Daniel, I couldn’t tell Eddie I didn’t want him, because it wasn’t true.

A half smiled crossed Eddie’s face, enough to show his sexy dimple. He put his lips to my ear and whispered, “I knew you couldn’t let me go.”

Before I knew what was happening, he pushed me against one of the shelves of books and smashed his lips into mine. Desire surged through me as his tongue lunged into my mouth. His lips and tongue all felt so needy as his mouth moved urgently over mine.

His body was pressed so close to mine, I could feel his erection pressing hard against me and I could feel his heart beating against my chest. His pure desire for me aroused a yearning deep inside. When I let out a moan, his longing for me seemed to become even more intense as his kisses became harder and his tongue thrust deeper into my mouth.

“I want you, Alexandria,” Eddie panted between uneven breathes.

Every inch of my body was charged. I had never been so turned on in my life. The powerful chemistry between the two of us was overwhelming. I was so close to giving into my physical desires, but one small voice stopped me.

An image of Daniel flashed in my mind. It was the look on his face when he said, “When you look further into your future, I hope you’ll see me.”

I pushed away from Eddie. “I can’t do this.”

He took a deep breath as he pushed his hand through his hair. Then he looked at me and shook his head. “You’re killing me, Alexandria.”

“I think we both need some air,” I said as I moved toward the door. I tried to smooth my hair down in the back and tucked my front strands behind my ears.

I could feel Eddie come up close behind me. Heat was still radiating from his body. I could feel my pulse quicken in response. “This isn’t over, Alexandria,” he whispered in my ear. “It’s just beginning.”

I turned to face him. “You’re right, Eddie. I want you. Every inch of my body longs to connect with yours. But not my heart. My heart wants Daniel.”

I grabbed the handle and threw the door open. This time, Eddie didn’t try to stop me from leaving.