Staring into his eyes I knew I needed to talk to him, but nothing would change between us. He’d broken part of me with his mistrust.
“Let’s go and sit in the forest.” I turned back to Callie, who made the shooing motion with her hands, and then she turned, walking back upstairs.
Jack stepped back to allow me to precede him down the path. We walked towards the entrance to the forest in silence. Jack kept glancing over to me, but I refused to meet his eyes.
It had felt good to see him again even though it hurt like hell. When I saw him standing outside the door, my first instinct had been to throw my arms around him; I’d had to reign in the impulse. I still loved him, and it hurt so much being with him, but having to keep my distance.
Inside the forest, I walked slightly off the path so we would have some privacy. I turned to face him, the look on his face taking me aback. He was sorry, it was written all over his face.
“Thalia...I don’t know where to start.” He looked at me, lost for words.
“I know all about Rebecca...and I know Lewis’ reasoning behind it all. Callie phoned Donovan and got it out of him,” I told him, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice. “It doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t trust me. You automatically assumed what you’d been told was fact. You didn’t ask me. You accused me. I can’t get that out of my head.”
“Thalia, please. I’m really sorry. I love you,” he said trying to take hold of my hands, but I moved out of his reach. “I didn’t think after Lewis dropped his bombshell. As far as I knew, you were the only one to have seen my tattoos and piercing. I didn’t stop to think that someone else could have seen. God, baby I know I really fucked up, but please don’t back away from me. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you; just don’t walk away from me, Thalia. I’ve looked for you for a long time. I don’t want to lose you.”
I knew what I wanted to do, but I was too hurt to take what was right in front of me. What was to say he wouldn’t hurt me again? He’d done it once before, without thinking, he’d do it again.
“I love you too, Jack, but I don’t know what I want or where I want to go from here...you crushed me earlier.”
With a deep breath, I chanced a glance in his direction; tears shimmered on his face. Oh God. I wasn’t sure I had the strength to walk away from him. He had my heart and I knew he probably always would. I tried to pull myself together, even though the track of my tears matched his.
Moving in closer to him I met his gaze. He knew. He knew what I was doing. I lifted my hands to his face and brushed his tears away, only for more to follow. I rose up on my toes, placed a gentle kiss to his lips, and whispered, “Goodbye.” Then with all the strength I had, I turned and ran back to the inn, also in tears.
Chapter 61
Jack
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I couldn’t move as I watched the woman who held my heart run away from me after kissing me goodbye. Fuck. I stepped back and collapsed onto a fallen tree with my head in my hands while I cried like a fucking baby.
It was my fault. I’d been a bastard earlier and now I was paying the price. I’d lost her because I hadn’t stopped to think, which was what Liam had tried to get me to do. But I’d known best, and carried on regardless.
Yanking my t-shirt over my head, I wiped my eyes then my face and tried to pull myself together. I had no idea how long I’d been sitting in the forest, but I wasn’t going to just sit back and let the woman I loved walk out of my life because I’d been a first class dick.
“You okay,” Liam asked.
“How long have you been standing there?” I think I’d have to kill my brother if he’d seen me five minutes ago.
“A minute.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Seriously, I just arrived. Mia’s gone over to the inn, begging Thalia and Callie to stay for the wedding. She really wants Thalia to be her bridesmaid.”
My heart missed a beat. She wouldn’t leave today with Mia on the case. Surely she wouldn’t. I needed to come up with a plan to make her see how much I loved her. “I need your help,” I said, jumping up from the tree with new purpose, startling Liam who’d been off in his own thoughts.
“Ah, I’m your brother remember? I’ve seen your plans in the past.”
“For fuck’s sake Liam, we were kids back then. This one has to work, because I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit back and do nothing while Thalia walks out of my life.”
“I’m still not sure about this, but I’ll help, seeing as it was my fiancées father who screwed it all up in the first place.”
“Well gee thanks. Not because you’re my brother, huh!”
“No, you’re an ass.”