I quickly got out of the car, my footsteps sounding hard on the asphalt in a rare moment of quiet from the highway. The store looked empty for all I could see and we were the only car on the lot.
I opened the door, the bell jangling too loud for my liking. A double-chinned man with fuzzy grey hair was looking at a crossword puzzle. The store was empty.
“Excuse me,” I said trying to hide the anxiety in my voice. The clerk didn’t even look up. I walked over and leaned over the counter, getting between him and the puzzle. Finally his tired, red eyes met mine. I knew those eyes, they were desert eyes, dried out from too much sun and too little joy.
“Can I help you?” the man asked. I could sense he was about to reach under the counter for the alarm so I backed off.
“Did you see a woman and a young boy come in here?” I asked.
He frowned then relaxed a bit. “I saw a woman. Can’t say I saw a boy.”
“Was she petite, you know, short, dark hair, Italian looking?”
He rubbed his lips together in thought. I didn’t have time for him to ponder this shit. I needed to find out if Sophia left me and fast.
“Think!” I barked, losing control for a moment. “Was she here?”
The man froze, taken aback. At the same time, I heard a door slam behind me. I turned to see Sophia coming out of the restroom with Ben at her side. Her eyes were drawn thin, eyeing me suspiciously.
“There you are,” I said, turning and giving Ben the most genuine smile I could muster. Relief never felt as soothing as it did just then.
“Where did you think I went?” she asked. I nodded at the briefcase. She shook her head and quickly pushed the door open. “Come on, sweetie,” she crooned to Ben.
I followed her out to the car, trying to burn away the guilty feeling. My first thought was that Sophia had taken the money and run. I wondered when I’d ever trust anyone again.
“Sorry,” I mumbled to her after I got in the car and pulled it back on the highway. The sun was sliding low in the sky, casting a warm golden light that made you feel warm and safe, like your mind was flipping through photographs of summers long ago. It was nostalgic and good and terribly misleading. I hated this time of day.
She was silent, mulling over my distrust.
“Sorry,” I said again, passing the road-side dinosaurs of Cabazon. “I thought you’d left.”
“You would think that,” she said.
“Mama, I’m tired,” Ben finally spoke, tugging on her sleeve as she held him. His voice brought tears to my eyes. I’d never heard him speak before. My mouth was torn between a gap and a smile. In another life, this would have been ordinary and I would have brought the car around and shown Ben the dinosaurs. In another life, he would see me as his father. In another life I wouldn’t be trying to find a new one for us all.
“Watch the road,” Sophia said, tapping her hand on the dashboard and I looked up in time to see I was crossing over the dividing line. I corrected myself, my heart racing loud, and rubbed my forehead until I could feel. I needed to hold it all together, if only for a little while longer.
I swallowed hard and let out a long, calm breath. “Sophia, we need to think about the next steps. You can’t go home again.” As eloquently and non-invasive as I could, I explained what we needed to do. To my amazement, she didn’t put up a fight, even when I said she’d have to change her name and cut off all contact with her old life. Perhaps she knew that Ben’s well-being was worth every sacrifice.
“I understand,” she said as she smoothed back Ben’s thick, beautiful hair. My god, he was going to be a lady-killer one day. “But I can’t just up and leave like that.” She snapped her fingers. “We have to go back to the apartment so I can get my stuff.”
“Your brothers—”
“Aren’t even in town anymore. They’re in Fresno.”
“How do you know?”
She shot me a dirty look. “They might have sold me out, but I’m their sister. I knew their plans for the week before any of this happened.”
I flipped down the visor, squinting at the sun which was spearing the I-10 with golden flames. “Sophia …”
“What?”
I shook my head. “Aren’t you … surprised? Upset? You are their sister and they sold you out.”
She sat back in her seat, silence blanketing us. “Yes. I am surprised and I am upset. I don’t know what to tell you, Camden. One minute I was at home feeding Ben, the next …”
She sniffed and her whole body started shaking.
“It’s okay,” I soothed her. “We don’t have to talk about it. We’ll get you home tonight but in the morning, we’re gone. For good. You understand what’s happening?”
Sophia nodded. “I hope I don’t see LA again.”
I hoped, for all our sakes, that she was right.
CHAPTER THREE
ELLIE
I woke up in hell.