His hands frantically found my breasts and grabbed a hold of the V-neck, ripping the shirt clear down the middle, the lace tearing easily. Then he sat up, overpowering me and bringing me to the ground. He buried his face in my breasts, letting out a happy grunt when he discovered my nipple ring for the first time, giving it a sharp tug with his teeth and a soothing lick after to calm my cries.
I ran my nails down his back, digging them in when the passion ran over, then took my hands to his jeans and groped hard at his erection. The moan I elicited out of him made me wet as water and I started grinding myself into him in pure impatience. I fumbled for the fly of his jeans and pulled them down to his knees, wrapping my legs around his bare ass, holding his length against me.
He pulled up my skirt until it was around my waist and tore my cheap thong off with one smooth motion. His lips and teeth went to my neck, biting hard and sucking slow, making my back arch with each touch. His fingers found their way inside me, stroking and rubbing in all the right places until I moaned.
“I need you inside me,” I cried out as he swirled his hot finger around my clit, my hips bucking for more.
“Tell me you’re mine,” he grunted, mouth at my ear, tongue flicking my lobe. “Tell me that you’re mine then I’ll take you.”
His other hand went to my breast and pulled at the nipple ring again. God damn it, I was going to lose it before it even started.
“I’m yours,” I said, my voice shaking. I closed my eyes and threw my head back. “I’m all yours.”
“You always were,” he said and he reached down and inserted himself in me with one hard thrust. I felt the small of my back meet with the earth, a sharp pain that melted away to pleasure as he continued thrusting hard, his ass powering through and flexing hotly under my fingers.
He couldn’t go hard enough, fast enough, deep enough. I wanted him, all of him, I wanted everything to explode, I wanted stars and heat and waves that would carry me onto another day. I wanted to go back in time before this mess ever started, when it was just him and I and I didn’t know any better and we had a home and a place where we could be us.
Javier let out a small cry as I ran my nails down his chest, his eyes blazing into mine, a yellow-gold dream as his face furrowed with the need to release. I needed it too.
He gave it his all, his taut muscles straining, sweat streaming off of him and pooling on mine, the sun bearing down on him from behind the orange trees, making his back glow. He pounded himself deeper, his fingers coming down bringing me to the brink again. I closed my eyes and felt myself fill up with the waves, the energy he was creating, the pressure between my legs that built up and up and up until I had to let go.
I cried out, swearing, my nails digging into his ass and lower back as he let out what could only be described as a roar, his body stiffening. He came hard inside of me, his eyes rolling back in his head.
He held that position, one frozen in the pain of pure pleasure, before exhaling and crumbling on top of me, his elbows propping up most of his body weight, his head now on my chest. I caught the smell of his shampoo and closed my eyes, my breath struggling to catch up, our chests rising and falling against each other in unison.
We lay like that for some time, breathing, being. And when the passion, the dream-like state of our fucking wore off, I was left with thoughts I didn’t want to think. Guilt for what I had done. Disgust for who I had done it with.
And yet, a sick part of me didn’t regret a thing. It felt destined, bound to happen, something that had never come full circle until now. There was a sense of closure and peace that settled over us, like the tiny white petals that were flying through the air, swept in by the afternoon breeze.
“Ellie,” Javier said. “Yes?”
“You’ve gotten wilder.”
“Have I?”
“Yes. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle you anymore.”
I smiled to myself but it quickly faded.
I didn’t know how I was going to handle myself either.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CAMDEN
I dreamed of Ellie again.
We were back in the large cavernous room, no walls, no ceiling, just a darkness that went on forever. The ground was black satin sheets disappearing into infinity.
Ellie was on the sheets, in cheesy white lingerie she’d never wear in real life but it made me happy to see her in such a frivolous thing. She looked amazing, curvy and soft, crawling toward me on all fours, her breasts pushed up to her throat. Every part of me itched to touch her, hold her, possess her. I felt like if I didn’t, she’d be taken away, becoming someone else’s.
“Ellie,” a voice called out from the distance. Deep, dark, ominous. “Eden, Eleanor, Ellen, Emily, Elaine,”
Ellie turned her head to look, freezing on the spot.
“Ellie,” I tried to call to her, to get her to notice me, to keep crawling. But the words were lost in the room, sucked away.
Suddenly a cold wind blasted me, ice crystals forming on my glasses. I cleared them off in time to see Ellie slowly getting to her feet and walking the other way.
“Don’t go!” I yelled though my voice came out in a whisper.
She stopped and turned her head to the side, barely looking at me before averting her eyes down.