“I’d like to find that out for myself.” I went over to the balcony and closed the sliding door behind me. I wished I could have locked the door from the outside, so I could keep him out.
I drank my beer and every so often I’d turn my attention away from the sea and look at the sliding glass door. I could see my reflection, looking positively languid in the sun, and beyond that, inside, Raul on the couch. Constantly watching me.
Once darkness fell, Peter brought up everyone’s bags and I got settled in our room. Javier had returned just before dinner, fresh fish from Pedro, but wouldn’t tell me where they went, other than it was some stuff he had to work out. It was naturally vague but now I couldn’t help but think about what Raul said. How many things was I kept in the dark about?
When I put a few long dresses, light jackets and a nice tunic on the spindly hangers and shoved my duffel bag under the bed, I caught Javier walking past the room, heading downstairs to the shop.
“Javier,” I called out.
He poked his head back around the door, brows raised. For a very quick moment he looked like the boy I used to know. Or the boy that I never really knew.
“Can I have a moment?”
I don’t know why I was being so polite but I was.
He came in, nodding, eyes curious and concerned. “Of course you can. What’s wrong?”
I guess he was being polite too.
I eyed the door, jerking my chin for him to close it, to give us privacy. He tilted his head, then shook it, his attention going to the wall. Raul and Peter were in their room and perhaps the walls were far too thin for whatever he thought I was going to talk to him about.
“I was actually going to go up the street to get more beer,” he said somewhat loudly. “Someone’s drank most of the supply. Want to come with me?”
I nodded, grabbing a jean jacket from the closet and followed him down the stairs and through the triple locks of the shop door. We hopped in the Range Rover and sped off down the road. The Let Love In album started playing again. I reached over and turned down the volume.
After we’d passed a couple of convenience stores and supermarkets, I said, “I thought you needed beer.”
“We’ll get it on the way back. We’re going to Veracruz.”
I felt jarred. “Right now? It’s night.” I wasn’t ready for this.
“Best time to go. I won’t be easily spotted. It’s a large city you know. Half a million people and a lot of them look like me.”
“I doubt that,” I said despite myself.
He let out a low laugh. “You still think me handsome, Ellie?”
I shouldn’t have looked over at him, like I was actually considering the question, but I did. And then I started considering the question. He was handsome, maybe even more so than he once was. He was almost thirty now and the age gave him power, his features more defined, his confidence off the charts. It was a dangerous combination and a dangerous question.
“I can see how a lot of women would find you very attractive,” I said as detachedly as possible.
“Oh, very attractive. I like that, I like that.” He smiled at me, eyes puppy dog. “You know if you’re not careful with me, we could fall back into old tricks.”
“Isn’t that what you want?”
He pressed his lips together. “I told you before, this is an evolution. For both of us.”
I wiped my hand on the length of my dress. “I don’t think you know much about evolving.”
“You’ll see. Now, I’m sure you didn’t want to discuss my looks with me, so what is it that you wanted to talk about?” His voice was clipped now, all business.
“Raul told me some things …”
“Of course he did,” he said easily but I could see his knuckles becoming more defined as he gripped the wheel. “What did he tell you?”
“That I was blind and kept in the dark and that I was going to get hurt.”
“I see.”
“I don’t trust him. Do you?”
“I don’t trust anyone,” he answered. “It’s what has kept me alive. I’d say you follow the same creed as me.”
“I trusted Camden,” I said, bracing for the impact.
It came slowly, the frustration seething off of him like smoke. His teeth clanked together as he bit down, jaw grinding. He waited one long agonizing minute before speaking, more to gather his anger than keep me in anticipation.
“Camden is your past,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. “I am your future.”
“You are my past. Camden is my future.”
“Camden,” he said, voice rising, “is gone. He is gone, Ellie. He has his family, the family I gave back to him. He has moved on. You need to move on too. Weak people hang on to the ‘what could have beens.’ Strong people build a new future. Whatever … thing … you two shared, it’s over. He may have his tattoo on you but so do I.”
“How do you know he’s moved on?” I asked in a hush. “How do you know he’s not out there looking for me?”
“I told you I know where he is and what he’s doing,” he said. “He isn’t coming looking for you. Don’t you think he would have found you by now?”