My heart-rate went through the roof and my mouth had gone suddenly dry. How could he possibly know all my secrets? Is he a mind reader? Did he do a background check on me?
He continued unraveling my secrets, not waiting for a response from me. “I know you started working on your, uh … lifeplan … I think that’s what you called it, when you were fifteen and have been following it to the letter ever since. Except for that little side-trip you took from it in Las Vegas, everything’s been going according to plan. You’ve only dated guys who fit the mold and want the same things you want, and when they stopped fitting into the plan, you dumped ‘em and found another candidate.”
“More like they dumped me,” I mumbled. My ears burned with shame. I felt like that teenager in the hospital again, signing off on documents I didn’t read, telling the doctors to go ahead and do whatever they could to save her.
“Dumped, got dumped … that’s all just semantics. I’m not done yet. So, then this guy asked you to marry him, and you checked all the boxes to make sure he fit, and when you realized he did, you said yes. And that’s when you decided to finally give me a call and take care of the little problem you started two years ago.”
I lifted my arm and rested it on the windowsill, the opposite hand pressed into the seat next to my left thigh. I felt like I was being attacked, only he was doing it in a normal tone of voice without a hint of malice. If the truck had been stopped, I probably would have jumped out.
My voice was shaky when it finally started to work again. “I didn’t start any problem, you did. And how do you know all that stuff about me? Have you been spying on me?”
He laughed bitterly. “Hardly. I didn’t even know where you were until you showed up in town looking for me. When Boog called and described you and told me what you’d said to Hannah, I knew it was you. It’s the first time I’ve even come close to you in two years.” He didn’t sound happy about that at all.
“That doesn’t explain how you know my personal history. I don’t share that with anyone. Not even my best friends.”
“Sure you do. You shared it with me.” He sounded proud, the jerk.
“No I didn’t.” My voice went higher out of panic.
“Are you calling me a liar?” He glanced at me as he turned onto another road.
“No, I’m just saying … you must be mistaken or something. I don’t share my past with anyone, not even good looking cowboys.”
“Well, you shared it with me. And I’m not just some guy. I’m your husband. You should share that stuff with your husband.” He glanced at me once more. “You didn’t share it with that guy you’re engaged to, did you?”
“Would you stop saying that?” Sweat had broken out on my upper lip and under my arms.
“Saying what?”
“That you’re my husband!” I screeched. He was being too calm about everything, like his hand wasn’t hovering over the bright red button on my console that would set off all the nuclear missiles I kept under lock and key.
“The truth bothers you that much?”
“No, the joke bothers me that much. This is all just a big joke, don’t you get it?” I was panting, not able to get enough oxygen to my brain. Dizzy. I’m dizzy. Why am I so dizzy?
The muscles in his arms jumped a little. “No, I guess I don’t get it. Explain it to me.” He pulled onto the dirt road that had ended my Smart Car.
My left hand came up and started doing chopping-down motions as I explained. He absolutely had to understand this, because if he didn’t, I was going to implode. My voice went up and up, getting nearer and nearer to hysterical proportions with every sentence. “Okay, Mack … here it is. Two years ago I got dumped by a guy and was feeling vulnerable. I had too much to drink and I met you and you were all … you … and I got carried away. We both got carried away, I guess, since you don’t seem the type to go off-plan much either. The next day I woke up, you were gone, and I went home. Okay? Do you get it now? Life went on for both of us, not just me. I started dating Bradley, you started dating Hannah, and now here we are, two years later needing a divorce.” I took a deep breath and let it out, trying to release some of the stress. I felt like my head was going to explode.
“I’m afraid you’re missing part of the story, there, counsellor.” A country drawl was flavoring his words a little and tempting me to smack him upside the head in a very violent way.
“I don’t think so,” I said through gritted teeth.
“I know so.” His phone rang and he picked it up, frowning at the screen. He put it on the seat and ignored it. I glanced down and saw Hannah’s name there.
“Why aren’t you answering it? She’s your girlfriend, and I get the impression she wouldn’t appreciate being blown off.”
“She is not my girlfriend. I don’t know who told you that, but you should probably not listen to that person anymore.”