Selling Scarlett

chapter Twenty-Four

~ELIZABETH~

I try to tell myself that I'm not obsessed, but it's a lie. Suri calls Friday morning before I go down for breakfast, and I spill all—starting with the rendezvous at Hunter's house party and going all the way through the tryst in the women's sauna at the Joseph Club two nights ago.

I'm eagerly awaiting her response when I hear violent sobbing on the other end of the line.

"Oh my God." My stomach does a back-flip. "Is it something with Cross?"

"New York," she wails. "He's staying in New York—" She sobs some more. "We're not getting married anymore!"

I sit down on my bed, clutching my stomach and feeling shell-shocked. "Suri, oh my God, what happened?"

"And Cross has his eyes open!"

"Whoa. Holy shit! How is he?!"

"He's good!" She's still sobbing; I'm up and pacing the pale pink carpet.

"Suri, do you want to come here? Can you come here for like a day? An hour?" All I want is to be with her, but I know that I can't leave right now.

"No." I hear her cry some more, and then she pulls it together, although she's still speaking in her sobbing voice. "Cross is doing...really good. Nanette is stunned. The doctors are surprised. He's had his eyes open for a long time now, but he's not really responsive." She sniffs. "I just wish he would talk."

And then she's crying again—and so am I.

"They pulled him off some of the medicine yesterday. They think that might be why he's a little more alert. I think he's coming off some more today." Suri still sounds sniffly, and even though we're talking about Cross, I haven't forgotten what she told me about Adam.

"Holy cow, that's incredible. I want to see him so much. I just want to talk to him." My voice cracks a little and she says, "Why don't we call you? He and I? I'll give him my cell this afternoon and you can talk to him.”

"Would you really? I would love that. I'll quit whatever I'm doing—promise."

"Don't worry, Lizzy. I'll take care of him."

"But you..."

She sniffs again. "I'll tell you all about it, but not right now. You're missing breakfast, aren't you?"

"Don't hold back on me because of this. I want all the details."

"I'm not," she pauses, still sounding teary, "I'm just not sure I want to go into it quite yet."

I hesitate before asking my next question, because I don't want to press her if she doesn't want to talk—but I want to know: "Do you think it's something that will last?"

Her voice breaks. "I think so. Yeah."

"Oh, Suri, I'm so sorry."

"I know." She's crying softly again, and I would give anything to zap myself to where she is. "I wish I was there," I say.

"I know." She takes a deep breath and I can practically see her steadying herself. Wiping her eyes. "How are you, Lizzy? Are you doing okay? Cold feet, warm feet?"

"Same as the day before yesterday." Suri and I talk almost every day, so she knows what this means. "I'm nervous, but I can do this. It's for Cross."

"Lizzy, he's going to flip if he ever finds out. You do know that."

"Let him," I say. "He can hunt me down. I hope he does."

"He might. Remember if you back out, I'll come get you."

"I won't, but thank you for the offer." I thumb the tiny framed snapshot of Suri and I that's sitting on my night stand. "I'm going to be thinking of you all day, okay?"

"Okay."

"I want you to promise me you'll call if you want or need to. Pinkie promise?"

"Pinkie promise. Love you, Liz-Liz."

"You too, Sur-Sur."

I spend the next few minutes thinking about everything that Suri told me. Then I call and talk to Nanette about Cross. He's got his eyes open when I call, but still hasn't responded to anyone, which is disappointing, but I'm not complaining. In fact, I'm dancing as I get into my clothes: soft black slacks that make my butt look good, open-toe black heels, and a sea green blouse with wood buttons. I pull my dark hair into barrettes and let it hang down to my shoulders.

By the time I go downstairs, the kitchen is closed; a quick glance at my cell phone reveals that it's time for my exam. I slowly make my way to the medical clinic, where for the next two hours, my virginity is verified through an uncomfortable series of pokes and palpitations. By the time I get out of the stirrups I'm red in the face and feeling distinctly undignified. The moment I push through the door back out into the main hall, I'm greeted by the sound of kids' party bazookas and a single spray of silly-string, project across my face from a can in Loveless’s left hand.

Juniper catches my arm, and Marie V. grins. "It's time for your sex class!"

"Sex class?" I put a hand on my stomach, which feels flip-floppy at the prospect. "Does that mean I—"

"You watch," Loveless says, winking at me. "Now, follow us."

So I do. I follow them around to the right side of the main manor house, into a spacious suite that's outfitted with more cameras than the rest of Love Incorporated.

A hot guy with silky blond-brown hair and pale blue eyes is waiting. When he sees Juniper, he grabs her hand, and I watch with a notch between my brows while the two of them step into another room, and a few of the girls I don't know well move in to give me hugs.

"We're leaving," Bella says. "Don't want to be a looky loo."

"Have a great day," a girl named Luri tells me.

"Juniper’s the best,” assures a slightly younger girl.

When the room clears out, it's only Loveless, Marie V., and I. On the other side of the window, Juniper and the guy—who I quickly find is named Aspen—are making out. We sit down on a plush couch, and I ask if the window is one-sided.

"Oh, yes. They can't see us," Marie V. tells me.

But I can definitely see Juniper. She's unzipping Aspen's pants, and I'm feeling a little awkward.

"Clients pay to watch this?" I ask them as Aspen pulls off her blouse.

"Some," Loveless says.

"Wow, that's weird."

"But not for you," Marie V. says. "It's good. They're going to show you the ropes. Feel free to walk up to the window. That's why they're doing it. So you can see what it's going to be like."

"Wow." I do end up at the window, only because Loveless prods me to. I'm still reeling an hour later as we eat a picnic lunch on the lawn behind the main manor house. When Juniper finally shows up, drinking a smoothie and wearing a long, pink robe, she grins. "Well, what did you think?"

"You were amazing."

She bats her lashes, and I realize they look longer—and her face looks more made up. "That's what I'm told."

"Well it's true." I gesture to her robe. "Are you working right now?"

"I am. I just came out between clients. I don't have one for another for forty-five minutes, and it's you."

I nearly choke on my diet soda, and she laughs. "I'm going to be your model. It's the web cam preview, remember? I'll model the moves they'll want you to make, and then you'll make them. It won't be so bad."

"You can do it," Loveless assures me.

"Thank you. I'm nervous." Very. I’ve been here for days, but I still don’t feel ready to pose for a camera. How could I?

"You're ready for this," Marie V. told me.

We shoot the shit a while longer, and then Juniper and I go film my web cam preview. It's easier than I think it will be—all the film people are nice. I'm wearing panties and a bra, but my face is shadowed, so on the screen, which I can see out of the corner of my eye, you can see the general shape of my head but not much else.

Afterward, Juniper and I practice some moves, which is funny and not at all sexual. I do dinner in the dining room, where I'm regaled with stories of everyone's day. Loveless is working all night, and so is Juniper. I have the night off, so I head back to my room, where I get a call from Suri and I get a chance to say a few things to Cross.

When Suri gets the phone back in her hand, she says she's leaving Cross, so she'll call me back. When she does, I get the whole story on her and Adam.

"It doesn't seem logical to be with anyone else, because we care about each other, but it's not enough. Neither one of us wants to make the sacrifices you should be making if you're going to get married." Her voice cracks a little, and she says, "It's not just him. It's me, too. I love him, Lizzy, but there's no...passion. Does that sound ridiculous?"

"Not at all."

“Really?"

"It’s what makes the mundane stuff doable.”

“I think so too,” she says.

“You'll find someone else, and you'll move on."

"I know. So will you, girl."

I hang up the phone and spend the rest of the night thinking about that. About whether I really want to find someone. So I can have a marriage like my mom and dad's? In my mind, marriage sucks, but what if both partners are normal? Okay, not normal, but less crazy than my mom. Less avoidant than my dad.

I curl up in my bed and just so happen to find The Notebook on TV. When Juniper calls my landline about thirty minutes in, asking me if I want to go to a poker tournament tonight, I tell her 'no'. Until there's a real reason for me to think that there is hope for Hunter and I—hope that can be taken out into the light, rather than hidden away in a shadowy bedroom or a dark club sauna—I've got to keep my mind off him.