And that was becoming my biggest problem.
Cole was like a drug that I couldn’t stay away from. And no matter how many times he upset me. No matter how much he made me hate and despise him, the moment he touched me, it became dangerously easy to lose good sense.
My best friends, Maysie, Riley, and Gracie, didn’t understand why I put up with Cole. They argued that he was a womanizing ass. He wasn’t faithful. He would never even pretend to be.
But I knew better than to expect that.
Not once in all of the times our bodies had been joined intimately did we ever kid ourselves that this was something more.
Cole Brandt was NOT my boyfriend. Hell, he was someone I barely liked on a good day.
There were no delusional thoughts of forever and undying love. I didn’t dare expect more from him then what he was currently giving me.
Cole was good for sex and nothing else.
But I was starting to feel the strain of having no strings attached. I was exhausted and tired. And it had nothing to do with the fact that I had less than five hours of sleep.
But this is what I had signed up for. And the thought of not having this, whatever it was, made me sort of panicky. My body craved Cole’s.
And I was okay with our friends with benefits scenario. I had to be. Because the alternative wasn’t something my demanding vagina would be happy with.
My face was covered with soap when I heard the door to the bathroom open and shut and then the shower curtain moved as Cole got in behind me.
I tilted my face under the warm spray and leaned back as he wrapped his arms around me. He gently kissed between my shoulder blades and ran his nose upwards to the base of my skull.
“I missed you,” he murmured into my skin.
Just when I was okay with resigning myself to what we were, to being just fine with the lack of real emotional connection, Cole had to go and do things like that.
He peppered me with soft kisses, hugging me tightly.
“I really love you being here when I wake up. I wish you could be here every morning.” I could feel him smiling against my back and I wanted to bash his head in.
He really needed to shut the hell up.
Emo mushy crap was taking things too far. I didn’t need to engage my heart in this already sticky situation.
But this was Cole. He could be this amazing, beautiful person when he wanted to be. In the aftermath of sex he said things that sent me reeling. And I couldn’t help but allow my mind to wander to possibilities.
I hated him for it.
“You smell and taste unbelievable. There needs to be an AA program for this. Vivian Anonymous. Sign me up because I can’t get enough of touching you.” Cole ran his tongue along my wet skin and I couldn’t help but moan.
“Stay with me another night. Please,” he begged.
I wanted to give in. God, did I want to. When he was like this it was hard to deny him anything. But I couldn’t pretend that what we had was something else. That the two of us were ever destined for more than a temporary physical relationship.
If I started thinking like that, I was setting myself up for a hell of a fall. And I wasn’t sure I’d survive the impact.
Cole was an egotistical manwhore. That was what I needed to remember right now. If I didn’t stay, he’d have someone else ready and willing to take my place.
He may ask me to stay but he’d be just fine if I didn’t. Our hearts were not involved here.
I snorted inelegantly. “What would all the groupies say if I was here again tonight? I don’t want to cramp your style,” I scoffed, leaning my head back on his shoulder.
Cole’s hands came up to cup my breasts, kneading and rubbing in a way that made me weak in the knees. He played my body against me each and every time.