"I'll take you to get a lap dance and smoke pot with you during fantasy draft week," I blurted.
Claire looked at me like I lost my mind.
"Can I call you punk-daddy?" Gavin finally asked nonchalantly, ignoring my outburst.
Gavin asked for a father and saw that he was good.
Yes, I quoted the bible and compared my son to God. Shut up.
Claire laughed at Gavin's request.
"How about you just call him 'Daddy'?" she asked.
"How about I call him 'Daddy-face'," Gavin countered.
This kid was bartering on what version of daddy he could call me. He was a genius. And I was concerned for no reason at all. I reached over and took Gavin from Claire's arms.
"How about we let Mommy go to sleep and you and I discuss my new name while I put you back to bed?" I asked.
Claire reached up on her toes to kiss Gavin's cheek and then leaned over to do the same to mine. Gavin put his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my neck.
"Okay, baby-daddy."
Claire and I both burst out laughing at that one. As I walked out into the hall, I turned my head and mouthed the words, "thank you" to her before walking Gavin back to his room.
***
I really didn't know why I was so worried about Carter freaking out when I called him Gavin's father. It proved to me yet again just how wonderful he was.
While Carter was putting Gavin back to bed, I reached into my overnight bag and pulled out the tank top and boy shorts I brought for pajamas and changed into them. I brushed my teeth and then got back into bed to curl under the covers and wait for Carter to come back. I just started to doze off when I felt the bed dip and his arms circle around my waist. I smiled and snuggled back into his warm body.
"Everything go okay?" I murmured sleepily.
"Yep, he decided he wasn't thirsty anymore but he made me read him a story. And we compromised on 'Daddy-o' for now," he said with a chuckle.
"You're getting off easy. Two weeks ago he kept referring to me as 'Old Lady'."
I lay there wrapped in Carter’s arms and it was the most comfortable I had ever been.
For about five minutes.
This just proved that everything they did in the movies was a load of bullshit. His arm was under my neck on the pillow which tilted my head at an awkward angle. I could already feel the beginnings of a kink. I was starting to sweat like a whore in church with his other arm heavily draped over my waist and his legs tangled with mine. With my sweaty ass and his itchy leg hair, it felt like I had a hundred mosquito bites on my legs.
It would be wrong to kick him now, right?
I shifted my body just the tiniest bit. I didn't want him to think I didn't want to cuddle, but I was going insane trying to lie perfectly still. Maybe if I waited long enough, he'd fall asleep and I could shove him off me. The Cunninghams had it right when they slept in separate beds on "Happy Days." That's why all those people back then looked so well-rested and blissful. Marion didn't have Howard's hairy legs rubbing all over her.
"Out with it, Claire," Carter mumbled close to my ear.
Shit. Now it was going to get awkward. We just now had sex for the first time in years and I was going to tell him to get away from me so I could sleep. I am the most unromantic person in the world.
"Out with what?"
"You've been fidgeting and sighing for the past ten minutes," he replied.
I have tourettes, restless leg syndrome or a baboon heart that gives me the shakes and makes me sigh every time the furry thing beats.
Crap, wasn't I always teaching Gavin about honesty? And here I was trying to figure out a way to tell Carter I had monkey organs instead of just telling him the truth.
"Soooooo, I've never spent the night with anyone before. Well, except for Liz but we've always been drunk."
Carter made some sort of choking, cough sound behind me.
"Can you say that again? Slowly, and with more details," he mumbled.
I laughed and smacked his arm at my waist.
"I'm being serious."
"So am I. You were naked when you did this correct? Tell me you were naked," he replied.
Baboon heart, truth. Baboon heart, truth…
"My neck is killing me and I'm so hot right now my skin could start a blanket fire," I rambled.
Carter was quiet. Too quiet.
Shit, I hurt his feelings.
"Oh, thank fucking God," he said as he pulled both of his arms out from around me. "My arm fell asleep and my legs were getting a cramp."
***
"The bugs got lotion when the dog tickled. Ha ha farmer!"
I had been lying in bed for a few minutes, watching the first light of dawn creep through the curtains. I had to slap my hand over my mouth when Carter started talking in his sleep.