Gavin was the life of the store, naturally. He walked around handing out samples with the motto, "One for you, six for me." He was so hopped up on sugar by twelve o'clock, I was going to have to scrape him off of the ceiling by the end of the day.
I stood at the cash register ringing up a customer's cookie order when I noticed Carter talking to a guy by the front window. He was holding a small boy in his arms and Carter was laughing at something the guy said. He had his back to me so I had no idea who it was but something about him was familiar. I thanked the customer, gave her a flyer and headed over to Carter.
Carter noticed me walking towards him and smiled.
"There's my girl," he said as he lifted his arm so I could ease into his side.
The guy turned at Carter's words and when we saw each other, I wasn't sure who had the more shocked expression on their face.
"Oh my God, Max?"
"Claire?" he answered, equally surprised.
Carter looked between the two of us, obviously puzzled.
"Wait, you two know each other?" he asked.
"Um, yes. But more importantly, how do you know him?" I asked.
This was so awkward right now I kind of wished a meteor would crash out in the street. I needed total chaos right now to distract everyone from this insane situation.
"I met Max at the library when I took Gavin that one afternoon so you could work, remember? He gave me some tips on the joys of fatherhood," Carter laughed.
Max hadn't taken his eyes off me during the exchange and I laughed nervously. I didn't see this ending well. At all.
"So, anyway, how do you two know each other?" Carter asked again.
I looked at him and tried to convey with my eyes that this was about to get really weird really fast. Carter didn't get the hint and just stared at me expectantly.
"Hello, earth to Claire," Carter said with a laugh. "What's wrong with your face?"
I sighed, figuring I might as well get this over with.
"Carter, this is Max," I said, with a raise of my eyebrows, hoping he would get it.
He just laughed and shook his head.
"Yeah. We've already established that. Are you okay?" he asked as he leaned towards me.
"Carter. This. Is. MAX," I said again, punctuating Max's name with a big, fake smile.
Carter looked at me like I was insane for all of three point two more seconds when the light bulb finally went off in his brain. Really, how many fucking Max's did he know? It wasn't like the guy's name was John or Mike and he might have just assumed it was someone else. His name was Max for fuck's sake. As soon as he met him, shouldn't a red flag have gone off in his head?
It was certainly going off now. Carter's head jerked back and forth between Max and me so quickly it almost looked like he was shaking his head no. Maybe he was. His brain might just be on overload right now and it was screaming, "Nooooooooooo! Does not compute!"
"You're Max?" he asked.
Max just nodded, finally looking away from me and at his son squirming in his arms.
"You're Max," he stated.
I laughed uncomfortably. "I think we've covered that already, hon," I said through a smile and clenched teeth.
Let the insanity commence.
Carter started chuckling.
I closed my eyes, not wanting to witness what surely was going to follow. Why had I ever though it was necessary to share every detail of this story? Why?
"Two pumps!" Carter said excitedly, followed by more laughing.
Max just stood there with a befuddled look on his face.
Then Carter raised his arm and pointed at him, still laughing, I might add.
"You're the chump!"
"Oh Jesus," I muttered.
"What?" Max asked.
Carter was smiling like nut job.
"Nothing," I told Max. "Don't mind him."
"Where's her underwear?" Carter asked, suddenly serious.
Max's son started kicking his little legs around in an attempt to get down. He hefted him up higher in his arms and gave me a smile.
"Well, I better get going. It was good seeing you again, Claire. Good luck with the store," he said as he moved to the door and used his back to push it open.
"Could you say that TWO more times," Carter laughed.
I smacked his arm as Max lifted his hand in a wave.
Carter waved good-bye to him, shaking his hand in the air frantically like he was a little kid watching a parade.
"Come back again!" Carter shouted as Max got out the door and onto the sidewalk. "Claire likes it when people stay more than TWO seconds."
Max finally disappeared out of sight and Carter turned to face me, a lingering smile still on his face.
"What?" he asked when he saw the look on mine.
"When you're ready to start acting like an adult, let me know," I told him.
"Adults are the little ones, right?" he shouted to me as I walked away.
I shook my head as I made my way to the counter. Just then my dad walked back over from Liz's side with a black bag clutched firmly in his hand.
Oh sweet Jesus, my brain couldn't handle anymore crazy today. .
We stopped in front of each other and he tried to hide the bag behind his back.
"Dad, did you just buy something from Liz's store?" I asked bewilderingly.
What in the fuck of fuckery would he need from over there? WHAT? Oh God, where's Jim? I need his eye bleach.