Claire laughed and looked around. "It looks like a chocolate bomb went off in here."
There was chocolate in both of our hair, I could feel dried chocolate on my face and arms and our shirts were completely covered. I looked down and saw chocolate hand prints on Claire's thighs and hips and the half of her pants that hung off of her were sopping wet from the chocolate that still dripped off the edge of the counter. We were so busy with our post coital glow and laughing at the mess we made, that we didn't hear the connecting door to Liz's store open.
"SURPRISE!” Several voices yelled as we looked towards the door in shock.
"Oh my fucking God, are you kidding me?" Liz yelled as she cringed and tried not to drop the cake she held in her hands.
"Oh Jesus, my eyes. MY EYES!" Jim screamed as he covered his face with both hands and turned around.
"Are those chocolate boobs?" Drew asked, walking towards us and grabbing a piece off of the counter and popping it into his mouth.
My dick, completely shrunken now, was still in Claire. This was like the damn finger in the vagina day all over again. What the fuck was wrong with my life?
"Sorry I'm late! Claire, were you surprised?" Jenny asked as she pushed her way past Liz and Jim, stopping suddenly when she saw the position we were in. On the counter. With both of our asses showing, covered in chocolate.
"Heh, heh, Claire has boobs and penises stuck to her ass!" Drew laughed.
So that explains the weird bumps I felt on her ass. I was a little worried there for a minute that she might have boils or some creepy skin condition I didn't know about.
"I hope to God you bleach this counter," Liz scolded.
"And my eyes," Jim mutter with his back still to us.
Claire hadn't moved or said a word and I almost wanted to stick my finger under her nose to see if she was still breathing.
"We wanted to surprise you with a "Good luck with the store opening" cake but it looks like you guys started celebrating without us," Jenny laughed. "Drew, why haven't we played with chocolate yet? We need to remedial that."
"Remedy, babe. Remedy," Drew corrected as he grabbed another chocolate boob from the counter a few inches from Claire's ass and ate it.
Why the fuck was everyone still standing in this kitchen?
"I brought you a sample of my new edible lotion. It's funnel cake flavor. I figured you and Carter-boy could spice it up by playing dirty carnie and innocent fair-goer," Liz said as she tossed the bottle of lotion on the counter. "Looks like I should have brought you a drop cloth instead."
"I'm guessing you and Jim already tested out the funnel cake lotion, right? Did you pretend to be the slutty clown car with millions of midgets flocking out of your vagina?" Claire said sarcastically.
"This is the Butler Broadcasting System, coming to you live from the kitchen of the snacks side of "Seduction and Snacks," the new business opening tomorrow, right in the heart of Butler."
A woman in a business suit suddenly walked through the door with a microphone in her hand and a man with a camera followed behind her. The giant spotlight on top of the camera blinded us and everyone started yelling, but not before we heard the words, "Coming to you live..."
This is a dream. It has to be a fucking dream.
The perfectly coiffed woman with the bouffant hair stopped in her tracks when she saw my chocolate covered ass. Her shout of, "Holy fuck," was now being broadcast into several thousand Butler living rooms.
Thankfully, the camera man took in the scene in front of him and reacted faster than she did. He whipped around, smacking his camera into Jim's head before stumbling backwards, slipping through the spilled, melted chocolate and crashing down on the floor on his back.
***
"Son of a bitch that hurt," Jim could be heard shouting off-camera as the view on the television suddenly flew to a shot of the ceiling and a loud "ooomf" came through the speakers, signifying the point in the broadcast when the camera man landed on his ass.
Liz fell off the couch, landing on her side in a fit of giggles. Jim managed to stay on the couch but bent over at the waist, holding on to his stomach as he laughed right along with her.
All Claire and I could do was stare in shock at the replay of tonight's broadcast that Liz managed to catch on her DVR. After the kitchen debacle and plenty of apologies from the staff of BBS for deciding a surprise interview would be fun, we came back to Liz and Jim's house to clean up and see if by some miracle there was a cable outage in the area.
No such luck.
"Ooooh, here comes my part!" Drew said excitedly as he jumped up from his spot on the floor and reached over to turn up the volume on the television.
Drew's face suddenly came into the shot as he bent over the downed camera man, the view of the shop's kitchen ceiling behind his head.