“I was younger than you. I know that much. A man named, Narweh, used a bullwhip on me. There was a lot of blood. The beating left scars, but I would have died if…if Rafiq hadn’t saved my life.” Caleb cleared his throat and focused on soaping.
Livvie tried to turn and face him, but Caleb wouldn’t allow it. He simply moved her body in the direction he wanted and continued to wash her.
Her deadened voice broke the silence, “Why would someone do that to you?”
“I was….” He couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t tell her about the person he’d been, or the things he’d done. She was the one person who deserved to know, but he refused to say. “I was too weak to defend myself. Instead, I went back later and killed him.” He chuckled, lost in thought. “With the gun you pulled on me, in fact.”
Livvie was tense under his hands, her shoulders knotted. “Is that…? Is that the reason you feel like you owe Rafiq? Because he saved your life?”
Caleb’s hands inadvertently clenched and Livvie hissed in pain. He immediately let her go and reached for more soap. “Sorry,” he mumbled.
Livvie didn’t face him. She simply stared at the wall. “What about me, Caleb? Don’t you think you owe me anything?”
Caleb regretted having said anything at all. What had he been thinking to say anything so personal? And to Livvie of all people – whom he planned to subjugate for his own ends to repay a twelve year debt? It was reckless and stupid beyond anything he’d done so far.
“No,” he said. It felt like a lie. It was a lie. He owed her plenty. He’d been na?ve to think he’d ever be free of his debt. He’d always owe someone. “But if you ever want your revenge against me, you let me know.”
Livvie said nothing for several minutes before she turned to look at Caleb, “I don’t want revenge, Caleb. I don’t want to end up like you, letting some fucking vendetta run my life. I just want my freedom. I want to be free, Caleb. Not someone’s whore…not even yours.”
Caleb’s throat felt like it was on fire as he acknowledged the sincerity in Livvie’s words. This had been her game the entire time. He’d known it, reminded himself repeatedly, even begrudgingly respected her attempts – but he’d still fallen for it. He deserved every bit of what he was getting. He knew it and didn’t care.
He stepped forward, prodding Kitten out of the way and rinsed his body beneath the cooling spray of the water. He could feel Kitten’s stare on his body, but refused to acknowledge her. Once he was done rinsing, he opened the glass shower door, grabbed a towel and headed for the bedroom.
“You’re leaving!” Kitten cried, busting out of the shower and gripping his arm.
Caleb pushed her away somewhat forcefully and continued into the bedroom. “I have a lot of things to do today. You’ve taken up too much of my time lately as it is,” he said coldly. For a moment he looked about the room for his pants, then realized he hadn’t come in wearing any because he’d come to address her late-night ranting some time after he’d gone to bed. He glanced at her face and saw the hurt in her eyes, tears stood at the ready. She swallowed hard to keep them at bay as her hands covered her breasts.
“You’re going to go now, after everything? I thought…” her voice trailed off, teetering somewhere between anger and hurt. Something twisted inside Caleb’s stomach at the sight of her. He wanted to kiss her and tell her things that would make her stop crying; but then just the thought he’d considered such a thing solidified his anger and resolve.
“You thought what? You thought offering me a little * was going to make some kind of a difference? You thought you’d suck my dick and I’d just give you whatever the fuck you wanted?!”
His words cut her deeply, as he intended. He wanted to make sure there was absolutely no confusion. He walked toward her and tilted her chin upward and she instinctively recoiled, trying to get away from his hand. He gripped her harder, holding her in place.
“I did think it was really cute when you said you loved me though.” He visibly saw her shoulders slump then and her eyes closed slowly. He let her face go and without hysterics she walked toward the bed and put her head down onto her pillow and crawled into a ball.
For a few moments, he waited for her to retaliate, but she said nothing. He walked calmly toward the door, opened it, and walked through without a glance in her direction. He closed the door behind him gently, and awkwardly wondered why he suddenly felt hollow. Wrapped in nothing but a towel, he made his way toward his room.