I couldn’t stand the sight of Caleb’s head bowed in shame. He was much too proud a person. “I was never your slave, Caleb. You tried, I’ll give you that, but we both know you belong to me, as much as I, belong to you. If you’d really been able to break me down, and build me back up, neither of us would be here. No matter how fucked up the circumstances, I genuinely fell in love with you…and…and believe it or not…you love me too.”
“Kitten,” he said, “monsters can’t love.” He swiped at his eyes, “Now, get out of the truck. Walk toward the border, and don’t ever look back.”
Unable to control myself any longer I wrapped my arms around him as tightly as I could. “I love you, Caleb. I love you! If you care for me at all…please, don’t do this! Please, don’t leave me. I don’t know how to live without you. Don’t make me go back to trying to be someone I don’t know how to be anymore.”
His arms gently guided me back, and when our eyes met, I finally saw the emotions he tried so hard to keep hidden, and the resolve with which he said, “Live for me, Kitten. Be all those things you’d never be with me. Go to school. Meet a normal boy and fall in love. Forget me. It’s time for you to go, Kitten. Time for us both, to go.”
“Where will you go?”
“It’s best you don’t know.”
My heart sank, but I knew I had lost the argument and there was no stopping this goodbye. I wanted to kiss him then, just one last kiss to remember him by, but I knew kissing him would only be torture. I wanted to remember our last kiss as being one of passion and connection, not one of sadness and regret.
I let him go and opened the door.
“Take this,” he whispered and pushed the gun toward me. “It’s how you escaped.”
I stared at the gun for a long time. I even contemplated taking Caleb hostage with it and forcing him to drive us somewhere else. But he’d hurt me. His rejection stung more than anyone’s and my pride wouldn’t let me beg him anymore.
I picked up the gun and stared at his perfect profile as he stared out the windshield without a glance in my direction. He’d made his choice and it wasn’t me. I stepped out of the truck, slammed the door and started my trek toward the border.
As I walked, I could feel his eyes on me, the way I could always feel his eyes on me. Tears ran down my face unabashed, but I didn’t move to wipe them away. I had earned those tears, and I would wear them as a symbol of everything I had been through. They represented all the pain I had suffered, the love I felt, and the ocean of loss sweeping through my soul. I had finally learned to obey and never looked back.
I was covered in blood and bruised when I arrived at the border. In shock over everything that had happened with Caleb, I didn’t respond well to the border patrol officers screaming at me with raised weapons. I had a weapon of my own and I wasn’t afraid to fucking use it. And if I died? Who the fuck cared?
I put the gun to my head and demanded to be let through.
The fucktards shot me.
I thought I would die, bleed out as they wrestled me to the ground and handcuffed me. I didn’t know they had shot me with rubber bullets.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Day 14:
Matthew sat across from the former Miss Olivia Ruiz. She looked like hell. Her long dark hair was pulled away from her face into a severe bun. She had dark circles under her eyes and she hadn’t been eating much. Her lack of food intake had kept her at the hospital an additional 72 hours, but they couldn’t keep her once she had decided she wanted to leave.
Agent Sloan was also in the room. The revelations of the case had been difficult for her to swallow as well and Matthew wished there were some way to comfort her without leading her on. She had come to his room after visiting Olivia at the hospital and learning about his and Olivia’s last conversation. They spoke about the case for a while, but then she had wanted to talk about the night they’d had sex and he had to let her know in no uncertain terms it had been a one night affair. She’d called him a coward. He’d called her worse.
“Is this the last piece of paper?” Sophia Cole asked.
“Yes,” Matthew said. “Once you walk out of this room, you’ll be Sophia Cole. In exchange for your silence on the events of the last four months, the Bureau has dropped the charges against you and given you a new identity. We will cover your accrued medical expenses and you will be provided with the airline ticket you requested. In addition, your mother will receive the sum of $200,000 to be paid over five years. You understand, should you violate the terms of your agreement with the U.S. Government, you may be treated as a terrorist under the provisions of the Patriot Act and subject to a $250,000 fine and potential imprisonment. As a suspected terrorist, you may not be granted access to a lawyer or formally charged. However, your case will be reviewed every three years to make a determination on whether or not you pose further threat. Do you understand the terms of this agreement?” he asked.
“Yes,” Sophia whispered dully.
“Do you agree to the terms of this agreement?” he asked.