“I….”
“Don’t say anything. David had a vasectomy four years ago. There’s some disease that runs in his family and it can harm an unborn child, so he didn’t want to put himself or anyone else through what his parents went through twice after he was born. He was pretty anal about it, because he still insisted I used the pill and him a condom. I ran out of the pill and didn’t bother to replace it. The only other man I’ve had sex with is Michael and we never once used protection. Does that answer your question?”
“Sort of,” he replied.
I just looked at him. What did he mean, sort of? What kind of an answer was that? Yes or no would have been more appropriate.
“Listen, Lily. I need to go find Michael to make sure he’s okay. I’ve text my mother and she’s on her way here to stay with you.” I panicked. “It’s okay, she’ll look after you, but I don’t want to leave you here alone, okay?”
“I guess.”
“Try and rest. If you need anything, I’ll be out there until my mother gets here.”
“All right. Tell him I love him. Ask him if he’ll please come and talk to me in the morning. I need to know why he reacted the way he did.”
“Don’t you want to talk to him tonight?”
I shook my head. “No. I need to rest and think. I’m not sure I can handle seeing him tonight. He broke my heart, Lucien. Nothing has ever hurt as much, but I still love him.” I started crying again.
“I know you do. I’ll tell him and make sure he waits until tomorrow to come and talk to you.”
“Thank you.”
Lucien gave me a hug before he walked out of the room and shut the door while I cried myself to sleep.
Chapter 58
~~ MICHAEL ~~
Lily had gone. I’d told her to go and she had. Why didn’t she wait for me to get back? Because you told her to go. I was an idiot. I loved her. I still loved her. How could she do this to me? I’d really thought that she loved me. Could I live with her knowing the child she was carrying didn’t belong to me? I wasn’t sure.
For the first time since I was a young boy, I actually felt like crying. She’d looked nervous, but so happy when she blurted out that she was pregnant. When she’d seen my anger, her face had fallen with my words, her tears had started to fall.
I’d automatically presumed she’d been unfaithful to me, like Viv was, but what if she’d been pregnant when she’d moved in with me? Could I accept her baby if he was the father? Maybe! If he was the father then it would mean she hadn’t been unfaithful to me at least. We would have a child. We could raise it together and I guess let him see it maybe one day a week. Okay, I liked that idea. Fuck, who was I kidding? It would break my heart watching her nurse a child that wasn’t mine.
“Michael.”
“Lucien.”
My brother was standing in the doorway to the lounge and he looked pissed.
“Brother, what brings you to my abode?”
“The woman you love,” he replied.
I should have known she would run to Lucien, they were friends. He was the only friend she seemed to have since she’d moved in with me.
“You’re an ass, Michael. How could you kick her out like that?” he asked me while he walked closer and sat opposite me.
“She’s pregnant.”
“I’m aware of that, but I still can’t get my head around you kicking the woman you love, who is pregnant, out of her home.”
“She. Is. Pregnant.”
“Talk to me brother, because I’ve left one very distressed, sick woman who loves you, in my hotel room with mom.”
“Oh, fuck. Why did you have to get mom involved? And what do you mean she’s sick?”
“Because I needed to check on you and I couldn’t do that with how upset Lily is. I didn’t want to leave her alone.”
It hurt knowing she was so upset because of me. “Is she really that bad?” I asked him, hoping he was making her out to be worse than she was.
“Yes. I had to hold her hair back while she threw up in the toilet. Then I carried her to bed and she cried herself to sleep.”
I swiped at a few tears that had leaked out.
“Michael, I know you love her and I can see how much this is hurting. Why didn’t you tell her?”
“I thought she would leave me.”
“So you let her tell you she was pregnant and kicked her out anyway.” Lucien said. I really wish he would just shut up.
“How pregnant is she?” I decided to ask, at least then I would know if it was his or someone else’s.
“She’s about five weeks along. Apparently the doctor said she conceived about three weeks ago.”
It isn’t his. She was just like Viv. God, I trusted her. I gave her my heart. I told her I knew she was nothing like Viv and I meant it.