Why was he trying to be the nice guy in this scenario? Couldn't he have just moved on and made it easier for everyone? Every time I saw his face I had to battle the urge to punch him— but if he asked me how my day was and then I punched him, wouldn’t that make me the bitch? How was your day – punch.
I sighed and answered him as politely as possible. "It's been a lot harder than I expected, but I like most of my teammates. What about you?"
I knew he wasn't expecting me to answer him so politely. His face broke out into a relieved smile.
"It's been killer. I was used to being the best, but these guys on the team are pros through and through. Wilder really surprised me. I thought he was a party boy, but when he gets on the field, it's all business. The team really respects him." It was strange hearing him talk about Liam like that. He had no clue that I'd even met him.
"He's helping out at our practices in the morning," I offered, mainly so I could keep the conversation in neutral territory.
Josh scrunched his brows. "Seriously? At ULA practices? He must be crazy busy."
I shrugged and moved passed him to sit on the bottom step of the porch. "I guess he has some free time.”
"Well that's good. I bet the girls love him. You shouldn't let him get to you, though. I've heard he's a serial flirt."
Like a flicking of a light switch, that comment instantly reminded me of why I was sitting outside with Josh in the first place. What the hell was I doing having a pleasant conversation with this guy?
"I'm not so sure you should be handing out advice about that sort of thing. What do you need, Josh?"
He winced. "Yeah, that's true. Seriously, Kinsley, you have to let me explain."
I looked him over, realizing that if he was going to keep popping into my life, and I knew he would because there was already a party planned for Saturday night, then I needed to get this conversation over with.
"Fine, I'm all ears," I answered, and then wrapped my arms around my knees as I watched him pace back and forth in front of the porch. I'm sure the girls could hear our conversation inside, but I didn't really care.
"Kinsley, I never meant to hurt you. That girl, Jenny, means nothing to me. We were friends from camp and she'd been texting me, wanting to hangout. I kept brushing her off, but then she showed up at my apartment."
I wanted to interrupt him and ask how she even knew where his apartment was, but there was no point.
"I let her inside and she practically threw herself on me. She'd heard I made the LA Stars team and I think she wanted to say that she'd hooked up with a professional soccer player. You and I hadn't been doing much of anything lately because we were busy with tryouts, and I just wasn't thinking. I made a huge mistake."
What a lame excuse. The lamest fucking excuse I’ve ever heard.
"So whenever you're horny, you'll accept the first girl that throws herself at you? You're just an asshole that wanted to get laid."
"I don't love her, Kinsley. It meant nothing."
I nodded, feeling tears burning the side of eyes. I did NOT want to cry in front of Josh. He didn't deserve the satisfaction. He'd been one of my best friends throughout high school. When Trey had cheated on me, Josh had been there for me, telling me what an asshole Trey had been. And when we finally got together almost a year later, he swore to protect my heart. Bullshit. All of it.
"Okay," I finally answered when he wouldn't stop staring at me.
He expected me to fight him on it, but I didn't have any fight left in me for guys like Josh. Like Trey. Hell, even Liam was probably no better than the rest.
"Okay?" he asked.
I stood up off the porch and took a deep breath. "You said what you needed to say, Josh. We're still not getting back together."
"Kinsley, please don't end this yet. Please think about it. I'd be a fucking fool if I let you go. Do you realize that?"
I wanted to clarify that he wasn't letting me go, I left, but I held my tongue for fear that the waterworks would start soon.
"I'll see you at the party on Saturday, Josh. We can be friends, okay?" I didn't wait for him to answer; I spun around and ran into the house.
A few sophomores that were huddled at the door tried to act as if they were having a conversation, but all of their sentences were jumbled together.
"Oh yeah, the weather— practice sucked— did you see the last episode of Vampire Diaries?"
I didn't stop to tell them to mind their own business; I ran straight upstairs and fell back on my bed. A few seconds later, there was a light tapping on my door.
"Kinsley?" Becca asked barely above a whisper, like she feared that I would break if she spoke too loudly.
"Will you get your ass in here and grab Emily? I'm not about to wallow by myself."
"Sure thing, punk. PS. If you want me to pretend I didn't hear anything so you can vent, I will."
I propped my head up and smiled. Becca understood me better than most people and she'd only known me for five days.
"Thanks, but I'm assuming you had your ear pressed against the window the whole time."
She scoffed. "I'm not an amateur. I cracked it open a little bit." She winked and then turned to go find Emily.
…