I laughed at the thought. That wasn't true; I'd never put my heart on the line with Trey and Josh like I was doing right now with Liam. Liam wasn't something you chose to do or not do; he was like a virus, invading your system and taking root without your permission. He did it to every female in the United States, and sadly, I was no different.
I pushed off the ground and shot him a small smile before heading toward the bathroom to wash up before dinner.
"Kins?" he asked, standing up and tossing away the condom.
I shot him a wave and kept walking. I felt tears burning the edge of my eyes and I realized that having that revelation directly after making love had been a bad move on my part. I always felt a little more vulnerable after mind-blowing orgasms. Maybe I just needed a few minutes to collect myself.
I could feel his presence behind me and I knew he'd catch up to me before I reached the shower. I hurried my pace as I walked into his bathroom. Then I saw the separate room with the toilet and ran straight for it. He couldn't follow me in there. I locked the door and sank down onto the seat folding my head into my hands.
He didn't knock right away. Maybe he wanted to give me the chance to calm down, or maybe he thought I was actually using the facilities. But when I didn't come out even after I’d flushed and stayed inside for a few more minutes, his voice drifted through the solid wood.
"Kins, are you okay?" he asked with such sincerity that it only made my tears even harder to push down.
"Yes... just regrouping," I answered honestly.
"Could you regroup with me? What's wrong, babe?" I could hear his body slide down the wall next to the door and I knew he wasn't going to budge until I came out.
"Will you be honest with me if I ask you something? Completely honest?" I asked, stepping closer to the door and resting my forehead against it.
"Yes. Just tell me what's going on. We'll fix it."
I took a deep breath and prepared my heart for the wrong answer.
"Am I being na?ve to trust you? Seriously, Liam, you have to be honest with me, I can handle the truth… what I can't handle is getting into another relationship with a guy who doesn't respect me enough to be honest."
He sighed on the other side of the door. "Kins, get your ass out of that bathroom and talk to me face to face."
I mashed my lips together in annoyance, but twisted the knob and cracked the door open. He was still gloriously naked, sitting on the ground, staring up at me with earnest eyes.
Once I'd cracked the door slightly, he reached forward, pried the wood out of my hands, and pushed the door open completely. I jumped slightly, but he shook his head as if to tell me to calm down.
"I am not Josh. I will not hurt you. I was joking in the kitchen. I'm just a normal guy, Kinsley. I want what any other guy wants: to have a girlfriend that he loves and who loves him in return. I want there to be trust between us, and I want us to be open with one another. We haven't reached that point yet. I know I have to work to undo the crap other guys have done to you, but please don't shut me out. I can't change your past, Kinsley."
I nodded and finally felt the tears streaming down my cheeks.
"I just felt scared and vulnerable lying on that kitchen floor with you. You could pull the rug out from under me whenever you feel like it... whenever you're ready to move on."
He reached up and pulled my hand down so that I collapsed onto his lap. Our skin was pressed together, hot and sweaty from our lovemaking, but I loved it all the same.
"I love you, Kinsley Bryant. I love you because you aren't afraid to go for your dream. I love you because you had the balls to ask me to show you my tattoos when you didn't even know me. I love you because you're so talented and yet so humble. You've been given this tremendous gift and you push yourself every day to become even better. You're inspiring to be around and I love you. Please, believe that."
I stared at his chiseled chest, rising and falling, and let his words marinate inside of me. After a few moments, I finally glanced up and flashed him a small smile.
"You didn't say anything about my rockin’ bod or my quick wit..." He started laughing and shook his head, but I kept going despite my laughter. "Or my amazing talents in the bedroom, or my stellar whistlinggggaggghh—” he started tickling me and I couldn't speak over the laughter. I had to use every bit of strength to fend him off.
"Ahhh, STOP Liam Wilder. Right now!" I demanded, though he didn't heed my harsh tone. He picked me up off the ground and carried me toward the shower, depositing us both under the warm stream. He kept holding me, letting the water rush over both of us.
"By the way, I'm on birth control and I'm clean y’know... if next time we want to…?"
He kissed me before I could continue. "I got checked before we started dating, so yeah, no more condoms."
I smiled up at him. "Perfect. Let’s go again."
He laughed and tossed water onto me. "You're insatiable, but I love you," he murmured, kissing my lips. "I love you," he said again, kissing each of my cheeks.
When I opened my mouth to tell him that I loved him too, he stole my breath with a kiss and I never got the chance. I think the sneaky twit did it on purpose.
Chapter Twenty-Nine